Freewill Highschool
by WhatTheAirgear
Summary: Dean Winchester is the linebacker for the football team at Freewill highschool. In order to continue playing, he needs to bring up his grades. He was fine with that, until he learned he'd be tutored by Castiel Novak, the college-bound freak. But when they fall in love on a dare, and bring their relationship further than intended, the consequences seem small. [Destiel AU]
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note: Mosquitoes are cool. One bite and they can suck your blood and transfer diseases. Remember that. It could be on a test one day, right?**

Dean dropped his bag on the floor, a loud noise occurring as he did this, and then slammed down the assorted text books he had grabbed at random. "Alright, bitch. Looks like it's you and me. Teach me."

Castiel was writing his notes, and as the textbooks hit the table, sliding everywhere, his pencil slid across the paper, scribbling along the page. He sighed, knowing exactly who it was. No way in hell would he teach a Winchester. He stood to leave, but an arm blocked his path, and he looked towards the dark and defiant green eyes.

"I need your help. Did you not here me?" He asked, with a sort of threatening vibe about his voice. "Because if I don't pass these finals, then I don't pass the grade, and I'm kicked off the team for good."

Dean was an obvious jock. He played football for the school and in his spare time, skipped classes to make out with any cheer leader he could find. He was burly, something that came from numerous fights and days upon days of exercise to become physically fit. He almost never parted with his leather jacket, and was considered the 'top guy' at the school. Castiel pushed past the leather clad arm in disgust, earning a glare from Dean as he passed.

He found his way out of the back room of the library, finding his way to the lead librarian.

" ! Did you assign me as Dean's tutor?" He said, anger clear in his voice as he looked at her hard. They had been close, a teacher and student bond clear between them, and she was far more a mother to Castiel than his own mom at home was.

She was typing away on a key board, nodding and sighing through her nose as she figured they had some sort of argument going on.

"But why? He doesn't pay attention at all, to anything I say! How am I supposed to teach him anything?" He complained. Dean had been the one to pick on him during classes, to beat him up after school and ensure he didn't tell.

The librarian, , sighed, and turned towards Castiel. "You're the only one I could think of that could ever shove a word into that boy's brain. You can do it, and that's why I chose you." She thought to herself, _If I chose a girl, he surely wouldn't pay attention…_

Cas shook his head. He couldn't understand her reasoning. He was about to protest when he thought about something… He could force fake information into Dean's brain, making him think he was smart and such until the big EOC came…

No. He couldn't do that. Fake knowledge was worse than anything he'd ever experienced. "I can try, but when he fails his classes, he'll come after me." He alerted her, finally giving in. He'd teach him, though if Dean tried to do anything at all- even a glare would set Castiel off- then he wouldn't teach him.

The teacher smiled lightly. "I don't think that's the way this will play out. You're too smart to let him pull you down." She reminded him, and he felt slightly proud of himself, though with Dean Winchester, he'd be in for quite the ride. He took a step back, doubt clouding his mind.

He finally smiled sadly. "Yes ma'am. Thank you." Castiel walked back towards the back room, placing his hand on the door knob that would lead to the study room. He took a deep breath, preparing himself for what was to come.

Dean Winchester… Taught by Castiel Novak? It wouldn't work unless he could convince Dean how important his studies were. How would he even begin to do that?

He shook his head. "I'm crazy." He mumbled, and entered the room.

He instantly felt regret, and full doubt of his abilities as a tutor as he watched Dean tear off pages of his notebook, using them to make baskets in the trashcan. He had thrown most of the pencils out already, including Castiel's own. He rubbed his jaw line, not sure how he'd even start. He instead allowed himself to go auto-pilot. Maybe he'd come up with a plan later.

"Stop!" Castiel commanded, grabbing Dean's hand and pulling him off of the notebook. "You'll need most of those pages you know!" He looked down at the torn book, only a few pages left in it. "You're lucky I have a spare." He scolded, reaching into his bag and handing Dean a bright red spiral. The jock hadn't complained yet, but he seemed about to.

"I don't need you to lecture me. I get enough of that every day, Novak. Sit your ass down and do whatever you're supposed to do before I kick your ass. Again." He added, with a smug smile. He crossed his arm and kicked his feet up, satisfied with how angry Castiel seemed to be.

Castiel's anger sparked after Dean's threat. His electric blue eyes flashed a shade darker. "I'm not your victim. I'm going to teach you because I want to, not because some dumb jock told me to." He pushed his feet down, slamming the notebook down. "You're going to take notes and pay attention. If you fail, then I fail. Now get out a pencil and start."

Dean stood, his own green eyes staring hard and unforgiving at Castiel Novak. "Don't ever say anything like that to me again, dick."

Castiel turned back to him, and for a moment, Dean could have sworn he sensed a fear in the pit of his stomach. "I'm not male genitalia, dumb ass." He said to Dean, who took a step towards him as he said this, lifting him up by the collar of his shirt, his other hand clenched in a fist.

"Listen Novak." He said, a trickle of fear curling across Cas, but his eyes met the green ones on even ground, even as he was being held up by the boy before him. "If you say one more thing, I'll kill you." Cas didn't doubt him. "Now teach me something." He set Castiel down, pushing him into a seat and sitting beside him. He had, at some point, retrieved two pencils for the both of them.

Cas didn't say a word as he opened up one of the textbooks in front of him. Geometry. Easy. He took that in freshman year. He pointed towards the words on the page, still not speaking, and looking up to Dean expectantly.

Dean rolled his eyes. "Smart ass." The corner of his lips turned up in a smile. Maybe they could at least get along for a few minutes.

He told Dean all about the different proofs, reflexive property, Angle-Side-Angle, and congruency of sides and angles. Dean tried to listen, and Castiel helped him to take notes on the measuring and lengths of the arcs of a circle.

"This doesn't make any sense at all." Dean sighed, placing his head in his hands. He had dropped his pencil, and it rolled onto the floor. "I'm going to fail, aren't I?"

Castiel awkwardly placed a hand on the football player's shoulder after having retrieved his pencil from the carpeted floor. "No. I'll make sure you get to play next year. I told you I'd teach you." Dean. The jock looked up, and scooted back a little as their faces almost touched. So did Cas. "I promise." He handed Dean his pencil and pushed his notebook to the front of him. Dean nodded, and started to doodle on the side of his notes as he listened to the voice of the boy beside him, now talking about the area and segments and sectors of a circle. At least he'd be able to name the vocabulary.

Castiel cast him a sideways glance after a while. He knew Dean had been listening, but with football plays and positions on his mind, would he really remember? "We'll do more tomorrow." He looked up at the clock next to the window. 2:48 Tutoring sessions had ended at 2:30.

He couldn't help but be reminded of a famous movie quote. _People will talk._ He could certainly relate it to right now. The only people that spent time here after tutoring were the couples who wanted a private place to spend a few hours until 5:00, when the school closed itself off to the students. He blushed as he thought about this, though Dean didn't seem to notice or mind as he packed up his things.

The jock stood after his bag was filled. "I got to get to practice. See ya, Novak."

"S-see ya." He said casually, surprised that he found himself to be accepting of the nickname for once.

He knew he and Dean could never be friends, or anything more than bully and victim, but he could try to be a tutor, too. Castiel and Dean went opposite ways outside of the library. One to the sidewalk to walk home, the other to the football field.

"Hey Dean! Thought you'd be late!" A few of his teammates were laughing and rough housing as he walked on to the field.

"Dean!"

"Hey!"

A few of them called out.

Nicholas, or 'nick', looked around the field. "Now we're just waiting on coach." He said as Dean came to stand beside him.

"So... Is your tutor a babe, or what?" He asked jokingly.

"Uh, yeah. Super hot, like model hot, man." Dean laughed along with them, and they patted him on the back, congratulating him.

"Man, put me with another guy. How am I supposed to learn with a guy?" Nick complained.

Dean laughed. "Nick, don't go gay on me, alright?"

A few of the players had been speaking in low voices to each other, and then passed it on to Nicholas, who smirked, as if it was funny.

"The entire team thinks you should date your tutor." He said, and the other players laughed, giving a thumbs up.

Dean laughed. "I don't think she's interested." He couldn't let them know he had a guy for a tutor, much less Castiel Novak, their main target.

"Then make her interested." Nick laughed, and shoved Dean's shoulder. "Bring her out to practice on valentine's day. We'll see how hot she really is."

Dean smiled, and shoved him back playfully.

_What am I going to do?_

He had already asked the librarian to switch him. She said no, that it wasn't possible. He couldn't bring any girl he'd made out with; she'd just deny being his tutor.

Greg was talking to Nicholas now, something about coach being late, but Dean could care less.

_Valentine's day is under a month away_, Dean thought.

He played through the rest of practice, but he felt a deep clench in his gut as he tackled and passed the ball to the lines men. He planned out possibilities. Getting Cas to dress as a girl on a dare or something, bringing him down to the field, ask him to stay away from the team...

_No..._ He decided, shuddering. He couldn't kiss Novak. There was nothing for him to do except bring Castiel on Valentine's day. Maybe he could say his tutor was swapped last minute. He hoped it would play out fine.

After practice, he walked toward the parking lot, opening the door to his '67 impala. He started the engine, twisting the keys in the ignition, and began to drive home. Halfway to his neighborhood, he pulled over, spotting someone he thought he recognized.

"Hey Novak! Need a ride?" He called out, spotting the messy brown hair of Castiel Novak. He seemed to be weighed down by the large back slung across his shoulder. What was he carrying in there? A dead body?

Castiel looked towards the black car and driver with a hesitance. Was this going to be some sort of prank? He took slow and careful steps to the impala, surprised that Dean hadn't driven off, shouting "Psyche!" as he passed. He slid into the leather interior, glad for the warmth.

"Where to?" Dean asked, tapping his hand against the steering wheel nervously. He knew if he wanted to get Castiel to help him with this valentine's day thing, he'd have to be at least somewhat nicer. A ride home was good, right? Did Cas like this type of music? Did he think it was too cold or too warm in the car? Did it smell bad? He spotted a few trash items on the floor and felt embarrassed, but he sucked it up.

_Why do I care so much?_

Cas looked over to Dean, surprised, and Dean remembered that he had asked a question. "I live right next door to you..." He said, seemingly disappointed that Dean hadn't ever noticed him.

Dean's memory sparked, seeing Castiel in the summer, and all throughout the year. He had never paid attention… He probably almost never saw him because he was afraid to walk outside with Dean Winchester there, ready to kick his ass in a split second.

"Sorry..." He mumbled, focusing back on the road.

"It's alright..." Cas said, feeling awkwardly out of place in Dean Winchester's car. He faintly heard the sound of a guitar solo finishing up from the stereos.

"D-dean?" Castiel muttered, somewhat embarrassed and scared to ask. Dean hadn't been this nice in the past.

"Hmm?" Dean looked over to the passenger, his eyes still somewhat on the road.

"Why did you...?" He began, and Dean finished.

"Offer you a ride?" He completed the question.

"Umm... Yeah. Why are you being nice to me?" Castiel blushed, surprised and scared to be someone like himself in Dean Winchester's 'Baby'. "I just don't get it. You were upset earlier, weren't you?" He was in dean Winchester's car. Not even Tori, Dean's ex had been in his car, or even seen the inside of it. As far as he knew, Dean didn't let anyone but Sam, his younger brother, into his car.

Dean sighed as he turned into their neighborhood.

"I guess so, yeah. But why can't I be nice now? Is it a crime to offer people a ride, now?" He parked in the fifth house down's driveway, and they both got out. Dean was watching Castiel across the hood of his car with curious eyes, but turned away when Novak looked towards him.

Cas's eyebrows raised and he looked away. "Thanks I guess..."

Dean looked over to Castiel's house, then back to his. "Well, see you tomorrow, Cas."

Dean walked up to his house, leaving Castiel to walk back to his own. He glanced over, and Castiel quickly closed the door when he saw Dean's gaze

Damn it!

Instead of being nice, he had scared him. How?

He opened the door to his house, tossing his book bag to the side. He was about to head to the couch for TV, when he saw something bright red out of the corner of his eye. The notebook Cas gave him had slid out of the open pocket. He walked over to it, about to slide it back in with his foot, when he instead bent down and picked it up. He allowed his feet to wander over to the dining room table, pushing aside old dishes and junk mail so he could place his spiral down, reading over his messy hand writing and Castiel's almost perfect script.

He, Dean Winchester, Line-backer for the football team at Freewill High school, studied his notes.

He felt something inside him as he thought about Castiel. Something in his stomach. He joked to himself about it being disgust, him wanting to throw up every time he saw his face, but he knew it wasn't that. Castiel was attractive- NO! He corrected himself, that Castiel was good-looking to females. He didn't find Castiel Novak attractive; he was just saying that he wasn't ugly, and…he... He didn't know anymore.

The next day, Castiel woke up, got dressed and combed through his messy hair. He grabbed a bagel while packing his bag, and opened the front door, ready to walk out and to the bus stop. Instead he stared at Dean, who stood on his front porch, seeming like he was just about to knock. Castiel slammed the door shut, but just before it closed, something caught it and Dean yelped out. Cas looked down to see tan boots sticking through the door, catching it before it closed.

"Novak, I'm not here to hurt you." He looked down at his foot in disbelief. "Damn, you're stronger than you look. Can you stop crushing my foot now?"

Cas stared at his hand against the door, holding it shut, and he released it, but only ever so slightly. "W-why are you here?" He asked, opening the door so that a single blue eye stared out at the 6 am sky.

"I don't know." Dean craned his neck upwards and around Cas, trying to get a peek inside his house but Cas quickly stepped out of the door and shut it behind him. Dean and Castiel were touching, Cas being pressed against the door. Neither of them moved for a moment, their eyes locked, and breath mixing.

Dean took a quick step back, stumbling. _What the hell was that? Why hadn't he moved sooner?_

"S-sorry!" Cas held his backpack tighter, and ran past Dean, almost tripping over the back pack that lay by Dean's feet.

Dean ran a hand through his spiked hair, confused as hell. What did he just do? When he and Cas were that close... And why was Castiel acting strange?

He thought about things as he walked back to his house, his mind flooded with embarrassment, and climbed back into his impala. He shook off the feeling, and put his car into reverse, and then into drive as he set off for school.

He slammed on his brakes when he saw Castiel, almost not stopping, completely embarrassed with the earlier events.

After Dean had pulled over, he looked up, eyes wide like a deer caught in headlights. Castiel shifted his weight to his other foot, as if unsure what to do. He took slow steps to the waiting impala, not being able to see the driver's face in the darkened windows. He threw his bag in the back seat, climbing into the passenger side.

"Cas... What happened to you?" He asked as Castiel almost fell after he moved his leg the wrong way. He had been limping, Dean noticed, and he finally noticed the bruise on his jaw.

Castiel had looked away, but Dean grabbed his shoulder, shaking it a little. "Novak. What the hell, man?"

Cas didn't say anything, looking down at his feet, as if unsure if there was anything he could say.

Dean drove off again, looking over to Castiel every now and then, surprised when he actually spoke.

"Dean... Have you ever made a mistake?" He asked carefully.

"Too many to count." He admitted. "Most of them were girls." He laughed, trying to lighten the mood. Apparently it didn't work.

"I… made a big one. And now I'm being punished for it." He was silent after that, and though Dean sensed he didn't want to talk about it more, he asked anyway.

"Cas. Tell me what happened."

He breathed in deep, and exhaled, all the while staring straight ahead down the road.

"Do you remember 2 years ago when Joey Lucifer got thrown in jail?" He was tapping the car door with his fingers, where his arm rested, his eyes stuck on a single drop of condensation that traveled down the window.

"Yeah. He was selling drugs and beer. Busted and sent to prison, right?"

Castiel went silent, watching the drop of water disappear down the side of the window.

"Cas. Tell me you didn't..." Dean began, wondering if Castiel had been the one to do what even the bravest hero would never have done. Joey was dangerous.

"Didn't what? Do what's right?" He protested, crossing his arms. "No one else was going to turn him in! So I did!"

"I understand what's right and what's wrong, but you put Joey Lucifer in jail. He never forgets-"

Dean stomped on the brakes, as someone pulled out in front of them, shouting "Asshole!' Out the window, and earning a middle finger from the driver of that car.

He turned to Cas. The whole almost rear ending gave him time to consider.

"I'm going to kick Joey's ass."

Castiel looked away. "Don't. He'll come after me again."

"He'll come after you either way. Novak. Let me help."

"Why the hell do you even care?" Castiel asked, crossing his arms and grabbing his bag out of the back as they approached the school. The car that had pulled out in front of them had pulled into the school as well, and was parking next to them.

How would he answer something like that? Why _did_ he care?

"Because I…" He wasn't sure what to say. Because he felt like they should be friends?

"Exactly." Castiel said as he opened the car door, walking away, even as Dean called out his name.

Dean sighed, getting out of the car and preparing himself to argue with this jack ass in the red convertible. This bitch was lucky the convertible's cover was up, or he'd have yanked him out already.

The first period bell rang just as Dean entered the room. He watched Ms. Ruby's angry glare strike him.

"Mr. Winchester. Thank you for volunteering. You can start by explaining what CPCTC stands for." She said, smiling as a look of surprise and confusion crossed his face.

Dean looked to the side, seeing Castiel's expectant face. He had told him yesterday.

Dean struggled to remember. He remembered seeing this… "Congruent Parts… of Congruent Triangles… are Congruent." He finished, and the class was stuck in a silent awe as he finished.

"Please take a seat, Dean." The teacher pointed to the back of the class, seemingly upset that he had gotten it right.

Dean ripped a small corner from his notebook, writing a message on it.

Castiel felt a small tap on his shoulder. He looked back to see Dean handing him a piece of paper. Castiel opened it.

'Thanks'

He was glad that Dean had remembered what it stood for. But did he remember what it meant? Hopefully. He was about to write something back, when the teacher's voice struck out like a whip.

"Mr. Novak. Pay attention."

His head shot up and he glanced over to Dean, who had the faintest laugh on his lips. Was he trying to get him in trouble?

Cas paid attention for the rest of class, trying not to be distracted by the jock that attempted to talk to him and passed him even more notes. By the end of class, instead of writing notes, he had accidentally written most of Dean's words instead of the teacher's. His desk was piled high with small scarps of notebook paper that Dean had passed him and his paper was littered with different random topics Dean had gone on about.

He rolled his eyes. He'd just get the real notes out of the textbook tonight.

Dean came up behind Cas. "Hey later can you give me the notes?" He said, laughter hidden behind his words. He knew very well what had happened.

"Yeah, sure. All the notes I took about you and Sam going on a hunting trip last summer and something about you sneaking into a strip club and your dad not caring when he found out."

They split up, Dean heading to his Team Sport class and Castiel heading to Psychology II.

They didn't say goodbye and dint wave. Neither of them looked back. In these hallways, they were enemies. They could laugh and joke all they wanted to in private, but in public, it was all about image.

Cas felt slight sadness at this, but he paid it no mind. Dean was with the 'in' crowd, popular, being able to use anyone and stab them in the back after they were through their usefulness. Novak wasn't stupid. He wouldn't expect Dean to invite him over to his house or anything, and he certainly wasn't planning on becoming friends with Dean Winchester anyways.

The next period went fine for both, except for the constant winking from Dean's football buddies, who constantly teased him about his relationship with his tutor. Something about it sounding like a bad porno.

And Dean began to think more and more about Castiel Novak. People continued to tell him that he was dating his tutor, and so human nature dictated that he thought about it every single time they mentioned it. He thought about it more and more, and with all these people telling him it was the truth, it didn't sound so ridiculous or fake after all, though he knew Castiel was a guy, and he was a guy, and Dean Winchester certainly wasn't gay. He couldn't help but wonder… was Castiel into guys?

The lunch bell rang, and the students seemed to rush for the cafeteria. Dean and Castiel had both gotten their lunches, and took their meals to the school library, meeting up in front of the back room, number 7.

"Okay we have 30 minutes to get you prepared for the test next period." Cas plopped down his lunch tray and textbooks. "Ready?"

Dean nodded. He couldn't stop thinking about last periods taunting about him being gay with Cas. Castiel wasn't in the least bit feeling awkward, starting up his teachings on the 1700's almost immediately.

Castiel spoke vividly, pointing at the paper multiple times, and Dean continued to think about the boy before him. Castiel Novak.

Castiel Novak had bright blue eyes, messy brown hair, and was the smartest person he'd ever spoken to. Castiel's voice began to be drowned out behind Dean's thoughts.

_If I was gay I wouldn't be on the football team. If I was gay, I wouldn't have made out with Tori Langdon 2 days ago in the janitors closet. If I was gay... I'd want to go out with Castiel Novak. No! What did I just say?! No, that was just that subconscious thingy, where you can't control your thoughts, and it just says whatever it wants to and-_

"Are you even listening?" Castiel was frowning, his brow furrowed in frustration.

Dean was staring at him intently, but it didn't look like he was catching a word.

"Dean!" He waved a hand in front of his face.

"Huh?" Dean shook his head, clearing his thoughts.

His sexuality was straight as a pole, true. But Castiel was the car that bent that pole; that crashed into it and sent it into a beat-up spiral.

"Sorry..." Dean mumbled. _Dean Winchester is straight as a slinky_. He thought, then completely abandoned his thought process as he realized what he just said.

"Don't be." Cas smiled. "You'll learn this, I promise."

The bell rang after he said "I", signaling them to leave lunch and get back to class in the next six minutes. Castiel packed up his books and threw away his empty tray. "Let's get to history class. We went over all the main topics, so we should do great… That is, _if_ you actually paid attention."

Dean followed him to class silently.

Their last period, English, had come quickly. Dean had failed his history test, since he hadn't heard anything Castiel had said. He was too worried about his sexual orientation.

"Hello class. If you saw our agenda, I asked you to get out a piece of paper. I want you all to write a story about your opposite side… This will help us with argumentative essays. I want everything about you to be the opposite, besides your gender." He wrote out a sample story on the board quickly, where he was a student instead of a teacher.

A girl raised her hand. "Mister, can we make ourselves anything we want?"

"No." He stated. "I don't want to see who you want to date. I want to see who you wouldn't date. I want to see people you hate become your friends. The opposite side of you. That's what I want on this paper. Not your dreams, not your plans or secret wishes. This story should be something you'd never see happening."

Cas glanced over to Dean, who was actually paying attention for once.

He planned out his story quickly and quietly, though everyone else in the classroom was discussing it. He was on a sports team, failing all his classes and going out and getting drunk often. He… He realized that he was describing Dean when he was so carefully describing everything he had learned about the boy that sat two seats behind him.

The teacher peeked over Castiel's shoulder, nodding as he read over the paper. He spoke to Castiel in a low voice. "You put 'he' in several places. It sounds like you're describing someone other than yourself. Try again. Write about Mr. Winchester, not as yourself, but as your friend or something. In your opposite self, you'd be most like him, correct?"

Castiel stared down at the white lined paper with wide eyes. How had he guessed it was Dean?

As if curious about Dean's story now, the teacher moved back a few seats to spot Dean's paper. "Mr. Winchester, you aren't describing someone else, are you?"

Dean looked up at the teacher and down at his paper. "Should I write about me being friends with this kind of person?"

The teacher sighed. "No. I want you to have a relationship with a person like that. Create yourself as an opposite and do something with that person that you'd want to do as the opposite of yourself. Do what you can't do in this world." This was what Castiel heard from the teacher, and he sighed, glad that he hadn't mentioned any names. Looks like Dean was just writing randomly.

After the teacher had moved away, Dean realized that the problem was that the thing he wanted to do with Cas was very possible for him to do, even without an opposite life. But why would he want to do this? He ignored the teacher's advice, simply making them friends in the narrative.

Dean scratched out his previous story, and the teacher walked by Castiel's desk again, pleasantly finding that they were uncomfortably writing about each other.

After the class ended, the last period of the day, both students left with empty papers, heading to the library in an uncomfortable silence, neither wanting to initiate conversation, though they knew the other didn't know about the teacher's words

After they left, the teacher sighed. "It's cute that they think they're straight." He muttered to himself, giving them each a full score for today, though they hadn't handed in anything for the day.

Dean stared out the window while Castiel talked on and on about the revolutionary war, and the spread of language relative to distance and blah blah blah... Dean couldn't pay attention. A question was burning his mind. He could hear the faint ticking of the clock above the door way, and he knew Castiel had stopped talking, probably upset that he wasn't listening for the second time that day.

"What'd you write about?"

"Huh?" Cas looked up from his work. "In English?" He looked down at his backpack in doubt. "I trashed most of my ideas. I couldn't… I don't know…"

"Same. I don't know if I… I mean, you… N-never mind."

Castiel looked up to Dean in shock. Was his face… was he blushing? Did Dean Winchester just… stutter? He realized the warmth in his face was most likely a reflection of Dean's color. "I...I... I just... I don't know... The teacher..." He stammered, blabbering on about how the teacher had influenced him and told him what to write about, and how he felt he wouldn't have had any good ideas anyways.

Dean looked over, interested now. What did he have to hide? "What'd you write?" He asked curiously. Whatever he was hiding must have been pretty damn good. Usually Castiel was open with his work in class.

He felt slightly annoyed that he knew that much about this boy in only two days.

"Nothing..." Cas went back to his work, and Dean had crossed the room, both hands on the wooden desk, leaning against it.

"C'mon. Tell me." He demanded, violently wondering now. This was something he couldn't leave up to his imagination, whatever it was that Castiel had written about. He seemed almost embarrassed…

"No!" He said defiantly, pulling his back pack closer to him with his foot.

Dean's eyes shifted to Castiel's backpack. He sat down across from him. "Fine." He concluded, allowing Castiel to work in silence. He leaned back in his chair, stretching his feet out as far as he could until he felt his left foot touch the bag. He pulled it ever so slowly towards himself, trying to be as quiet as he could. "Hold on, my pencil broke." He said, though he held no pencil as he leaned down, pretending to dig around in his own bag.

Castiel seemed not to notice that he had no pencil in the first place, and no need for one in general, as he certainly wasn't writing notes at the moment. Dean leaned under the table, still pretending to rummage through his own bag, though he was looking through the many labeled folders.

He searched through the various notebooks and folders until he found the green one marked for English IV. He carefully and quietly out the latest paper and noticed his own name written multiple times across the page, though almost all the words were scribbled out furiously or erased completely, only the small smudges of graphite or lead left behind on the paper.

"Wh-what are you doing?" Castiel had looked up now, and he saw Dean's hands on the paper he recognized as his own. He grabbed for the paper, but Dean held it away from him, holding back the weaker and shorter boy. He stood when Cas did, and having a few inches on him, was able to hold it above his head while his eyes skimmed the paper.

He read through as much as he could before Cas had jumped up and tore the paper from his grasp. He was laughing by the time he got through it. "This looks like the exact thing the teacher told me to write."

He watched Castiel stuff it back into his bag, not bothered by organization as he hurried to hide the evidence. His face was a bright shade of pink as he stood and faced the green eyes, full of amusement.

Dean sat back down in his chair, trying to hold back his laugh, while Cas blushed profusely. He went back to his notes, completely ignoring Dean, though his hand was moving a little too fast, and he still felt the warmth in his cheeks and neck as Dean studied him with careful eyes.

Dean pulled out his books, trying to study along with Cas.

"Can you please stop?" Castiel asked, slamming down his pencil and looking up at Dean angrily. "I don't want to teach you anymore." He said, picking up his pencil and turning his book and notes away from Dean.

"Come on, Novak. I'm sorry. I just wanted to know." He watched Castiel continue through his notes, writing down the most random facts Dean had ever heard. Who was ever going to need to know who invented the cotton mill or whatever? "Come on, let me see." He complained, moving to turn the notes towards himself so he could at least get a few notes down, before Castiel swung out his hand. Dean jerked back his hand as he realized it had laid on top of Castiel's, and the tutor's face became pink once more. Was it healthy to blush that much in under five minutes?

He had felt his heart pounding faster and his breathing quicken after he had jerked away his hand, and Dean couldn't help but wonder what was happening to himself.

_What the hell?_ He asked himself. He'd only felt this way during sports. His heart rushed faster the longer he stressed about it. He thought he had taken away his hand, but there it was, still over Novak's. He glanced down at it, then up to Castiel, then back down to it, then up to Cas again.

"Er… Dean, could you…?" Castiel implied, his eyes on the hands that overlapped.

Dean felt himself leaning forward. _No, stop, what the hell are you doing, Winchester? _He asked himself, though he didn't fight it. Castiel looked alarmed, his eyes wide, and when Dean's lips came in contact with his own, he froze, eyes wide open. Dean had begun to pull away, but felt Castiel push his own mouth back onto Dean's with the same amount of force, and his hand slid up Dean's arm, coming to rest on the back of his neck.

_I'm gay._ They both thought this at the same time, realizing that it had made sense for a while now.

Dean's hand ran through Castiel's mess of hair, his fingertips pushing through the brown strands slowly. He felt his hand fall to Castiel's hip, and all he could think about was his sexuality and the person before him. Both of their chairs had been extremely close to begin with, but now they both sat on the edge of it, together.

Their lips broke apart, both of them leaning forward in the slightest to allow their foreheads to rest against one another. Their hearts were pounding in sync, and their breathing came unevenly as they thought about what they had done, and who they had done it with.

"D-dean? Did that… You just… why…?" He couldn't even properly form a coherent question. He was overwhelmed. Did Dean Winchester, one of the top players for the team free will high school football team just…?

"I don't know."

Both of them smiled, laughing slightly, and Dean pulled away just slightly, as if to make sure those bright blue eyes were still there.

"You know, I always thought I would end up with a chick." Dean mumbled, womdering what the hell sort of trouble he had gotten himself into.

"I didn't even know I was… or you, I thought that you were…" They both knew that the unspoken word was _straight_. Dean Winchester had always been _straight_.

Then Castiel pulled away even further, and rather quickly. "But what about... The football team?"

Dean knew that if anyone found out that him and Cas were like... This... He'd be kicked off the team for sure.

Cas fidgeted awkwardly under the sensitive topic that hung in the air.. "I don't want to take that away from you."

"It's fine. No one is going to know, alright?"

He kissed Cas again, this time softer and sweeter.

Cas smiled gladly. "Good."

Dean glanced up at the clock. 2:57. "Shit." Practice started in three minutes.

Cas looked up at the clock as well, nodding firmly. "I'll pack your bag and meet you at the Impala. Go."

"Thanks, Novak!" Dean called out as he rushed out the door. It seemed like any other day. It's something Castiel would have done either way. So then… why did it feel different? Why was Dean able to run faster than he ever had before, with less of a strain on his lungs? It probably had something to do with adrenaline… after all, he was full of it after he and Cas had kissed.

Dean rushed out of the media center, a new happiness driving him forward. He had kissed Castiel. He was gay. He passed by Tori, but didn't wink at her like he usually would. He kept on towards the football field, and she looked back to him with questioning and expectant eyes. She may have been his ex, but that didn't mean she wanted to be on his bad side. She wanted the chance to be with hottest guy in school. "Fucker…" She muttered as she continued towards her religious club.

Nick and the other guys teased him for being late. "Lost track of time?" Nicholas laughed, winking. "You must have got it good."

Dean laughed, scratching the back of his head. "Yeah. Guess we lost track of time, you know?"

Nick patted him on the back. "Yeah, we know alright. Hope you didn't get stuff all over your uniform."

Dean shook his head, laughing along with the other team members. "It's not like that, man." He said, and the coach blew his whistle, not allowing Nicholas time to consider being suspicious.

He practiced football, and they played pretty well. He played far better than he would on a normal day, with the motivation of Castiel watching from the parking lot. He had spotted him a few times, and he couldn't help but smile underneath his helmet. Cas probably had no idea which one he was, with all the helmets and similar builds of the guys on the team, but he didn't care.

After practice had ended, he couldn't wait to get to the impala to meet Cs, but Tori interrupted him.

"Hey, Dean." She said, leaning against the side of the wall of the locker room. She had obviously tugged down the front of her shirt, allowing mass cleavage to fall out, but Dean restrained himself from looking. Isn't that what guys did in a relationship?

Tori was slightly ignored by the fact that he hadn't looked down at her yet, so she huffed. "Dean, we've been apart for too long. We should get back together." She waited for a response, but he seemed to be hesitant about what he said.

"I don't know. You might want to get in line." He said, trying to act like he normally would, but he really would have jumped at the chance to get under her skirt again, and even she knew this.

"What do you mean 'get in line'. I don't wait in lines." She said, guessing it was some sort of game. Dean took a step back as she approached, and Tori looked at him with a small sort of disbelief. Maybe he had found someone better than her? No… There was no one as great as Tori!

She chewed the inside of her bottom lip, smiling. "Okay." She said, smiling a fake smile, her lip still tucked between her teeth. "I'll win you back then."

Castiel turned his head at Dean's approach, a small and careful smile on his face. He had been sitting on the hood of the impala, watching the football field. "I used to never watch football. But it looks fun."

Dean sat next to him, their shoulders touching, and they allowed the silence fill the gap between them.

Dean scratched the back of his neck as he considered what to say, not wanting to ruin everything. He had just become gay as hell in under two days… was that a record? Usually it took time for people to figure out they were gay, but he found it out with the touch of a hand. "Hey so, Cas, do you… wanna come over tomorrow?"

"Saturday?" Castiel threw away his plan to study for his fast approaching exams. "S-sure!" He stuttered, grinning. Did this mean it was… Official?

"Great." Dean laughed, then looked over to Cas, smiling jokingly. "Need a ride?"

"I don't need one... But I would like one." He said, a small smile on his face. He was hanging out with Dean Winchester tomorrow… That had to be something no one has ever done before. As far as he knew, no one had been over to his house, no one had been in his car, and he had never blushed or stuttered for someone. Did this make Castiel special in a way?

"Shut up and get in the car, nerd." He said, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

"Fine, jock." He retorted with a silly grin.

Dean had just asked Castiel in a date. Not a real date, more like a hangout, but they were both new to being in relationship with a guy... What would be considered a date? Castiel laughed internally, thinking this. A candle lit dinner didn't seem appropriate, somehow. He'd much prefer unwrapping fast food in the back seat of the impala.

Dean and Castiel were now in a sort of weird and complex relationship, even if not publicly. It wasn't like they were going to change their relationship status on social media to anything, and they certainly weren't going to tell potential dating material that they were taken… It was just that sort of relationship that you don't want anyone to know about; their own private life. He had no idea how it happened. But now they were together, and Cas couldn't help but smile along with Dean.

Classic rock poured from the radio, and Dean sang along, but no matter how obnoxious it got, Castiel hummed along. He enjoyed the feel of the small wind from the slightly opened window, and squinted as the sun blinded him. When he turned away, he opened his eyes to see the driver, and couldn't help but feel rushed and happy as he saw Dean beside him.

They were a match made in Heaven; Castiel the angel, and Dean the demon.

But they were both heading to hell.


	2. Chapter 2

Castiel was standing on the doorstep of Dean's house, feeling uneasy. He raised a hand, and hesitantly knocked. He had promised to come over, but that didn't mean he was entirely comfortable. He had never been too close to Dean's house and he was worried he would screw it up.

Dean opened the door a short time after Cas's knock.

"Shh... Okay turns out my dad is home, so we have to be quiet."

Cas nodded, and snuck quietly behind Dean.

"Who was it?" A rough voice sounded from the other room.

"They had the wrong address!" Dean called back. They both climbed the stairs quietly. Cas almost tripped until Dean caught him, both of their heads snapping to the living room to see if his father had noticed. The house was silent except for their light breaths.

"Why can't your dad see me?" he whispered, once they were up in his room.

Dean rolled his eyes and they both sat on his bed. "You don't have to whisper. He said no one over today. But whatever."

"I don't want to cause any trouble..." Cas looked down at his hands, embarrassed.

"As long as we're not caught, we're fine."

Dean leaned back, hands behind his head. "So what do you want to do?"

Cas still sat stiff on the side of the bed, unmoving. "I don't know."

"How about a movie, or music or something?"

"Sure." He said, still tense.

"Alright Cas, what's wrong?" Dean propped himself up on one elbow.

He hesitated. "It's just... It feels so weird to be here... I've never really 'hung out' with someone before, especially not at their house..."

"Well if you've done it at your house, even for some stupid party, it's the same. We-"

Dean paused, and grabbed Cas's arm, pushing him into the closet.

"Dean, wha-"

"Shh!" Dean shut the closet door, and jumped onto his bed, turning on the TV.

"Dean." A voice sounded from the other side of the door. The doorknob turned and opened, and through the slits in the white closet door, Cas got his first view of Dean's father.

John Winchester wore a dark suit, and a matching tie. His head and face was covered with dark hair, and his eyes were dark as well. Everything about him was dark, even his personality.

"I'm leaving for work. Don't do anything stupid." He paused. "And study. Soon you'll be taking over the family business, if your brother doesn't take it over first. I don't want to see you grow up stupid."

"Sam? When is he getting back?" He asked excitedly.

"Sometime next week. Are we done now?"

"Yeah. Bye dad!"

Castiel's heart ached for Dean. He knew Dean wanted to do anything but disappoint his father, but watching John now, Cas knew that Dean couldn't even if he sold his soul.

His father left, and Dean leapt off the bed. "Novak? Sorry!" He opened the closet door, and Cas tumbled out.

"Ow..." He rubbed his shoulder blade, which had been crushed against a shelf.

Dean looked worried, so he stood and smiled. "I'm good!"

Dean sighed in relief. "Good. Well, did you hear dad?"

"He's leaving?"

"Yep. You know what that means?"

"Um... What?"

Dean smiled triumphantly. "Let's throw some big party. Dad will probably be back tomorrow afternoon, so we'd have enough time for cleanup if we did it tonight."

Cas's heart skipped a beat. If Dean called over his friends, they would question why he was here, and they would be jerks, just like at school. They'd probably be upset with Dean, too.

"Dean... What if they..."

"What if they what?"

He was silent.

"Cas. The entire school won't be showing up. I'll invite the entire school, but not all of them will show up." Dean smiled, proud for that lame excuse and raised his hand for a high-five. Castiel's hand stayed low, against his side.

"Don't leave me hanging!"

"Dean, I've never been to a party."

His eyebrows rose. "Never? What about study-parties?"

"No..." He blushed, and turned away. Who would go to a party that could lead to drunk, high, and pregnant guests?

Dean laughed. "Well, there's a first for everything. I think dad had beer in the fridge if you wanted to try some. I think it's pretty damn good."

While dean called his friends, Cas excused himself to the restroom. He looked into the mirror. He hadn't been truthful to Dean, which he knew was wrong, but Dean had seemed so excited to have a party. The truth was, Castiel had been to a party similar to the one about to happen. He had been completely humiliated the entire time. That was around the time Joey Lucifer had started to bully him, throwing him against the ground, and continuing with verbal and physical abuse. The day after, Cas had called the police, but they couldn't do anything about it. So he reported Joey for the next crime; drugs and alcohol. Two days after, Joey had been sent to jail, but now he was out, and Joey Lucifer came to every party. Castiel bit his lip as he exited the bathroom, his stomach uneasy.

"Cas! Everyone's getting here at 7! It's 6 now. Want to listen to some Metallica, while we wait?"

Cas nodded, happy through his fear. Only an hour. He was afraid, but he wouldn't ruin Dean's excitement.

Dean was talking animatedly, showing Cas some of the many cassette tapes he had, filled with classic rock albums and singles. Cas smiled, nodded, and tried to have fun, desperately hoping he was wrong. Desperately hoping that Dean's party wouldn't be a bad one. He was a rule follower, and he always knew Dean was a bad one, but he still had hope.

The doorbell reverberated through the house. Both of them sat there, unmoving. Their time was up, and they'd have to go back to acting how they would if they weren't in a relationship. Dean kissed him, savoring the love that ran between them, running a hand through his messy hair.

"Cas..." He smiled, and he grinned back.

"I'll see you during the party." They kissed one more time, then Dean races downstairs to open the door, turning up the radio to blast throughout the house.

Cas stood by the bottom of the stairs, watching the room fill quickly. He pushed through the crowd into the living room, and looked around for anything to do. What _was_ he supposed to do at these things? Especially if there was no one to talk to?

The door was propped open, and Castiel could see people sitting out on the lawn. He pushed towards the door, hoping to get a little personal space. Girls were already taking off their tops, and a few had tried to pick him up. He passed by them effortlessly, uninterested. He really didn't understand why Dean liked these things so much. They were crowded, full of testosterone and hormones, drunken people, and slutty girls.

Castiel made it outside and looked around. A little ways away, Joey Lucifer stood, surrounded by girls and a few of his guy friends. He smiled wickedly as he watched Castiel. His brown-blonde spiky hair, and cold, dark eyes, gave him away immediately.

Cas ucked behind a few people, careful not to look directly at Lucifer, but despite his efforts to remain unseen, they locked eyes.

Cas tried to make himself as small as possible as he snuck around the back of the house. Lucifer excused himself from his group and stepped around to the back of the house, where Cas walked quickly away.

"Castiel Novak. I thought I told you to run."

He spun on his heel, glaring at Lucifer. He knew he wouldn't be able to land a punch, or even a tap on Joey, but he stood confident.

"Go away, Lucifer." He started to slowly back away as Joey approached more quickly.

His head was snapped to the side as a punch collided with his jaw, then tripped on his own feet.

"Do you know how long I spent in the prison, waiting for this?" He placed a foot on Cas's chest.

Joey picked up Cas by the collar of his tee, and punched him again, twice. He pushed Cas onto the ground again, and kicked him in the side of the head.

Castiel shot a leg up at random, and it collided with Joey.

"You little shit!" He shouted, grabbing Cas by the shoulder and lifting him to his feet, only to throw him against the side of the house.

Cas held on to the wall for support as another fist came launching towards the center of his face.

Dean ran back up the stairs. "Cas?" He looked around the house, trying to find his friend. "Cas?" He shouted. He was in the middle of going outside when Nicholas came up behind him. "Wicked party, Dean." He patted him on the shoulder.

Dean only paid half attention. "Sorry Nick, looking for some babes to bounce." He winked at his friend, close to breaking out of the mask, his head screaming for Castiel Novak. He pushed past the crowd, until he ended up outside. He walked around the sides of the house.

_Please be here, Cas. What the hell happened?_

Cas slid to the ground, his back against the wall. He had left a splash of his blood on the wall, and Lucifer laughed cruelly. "Listen Novak, leave town. Next time, I swear I'll kill you."

Joey walked away, leaving Cas hurt and broken.

Dean rushed around to the back of the house and spotted Cas.

"Cas?" He asked surprised, then spotted Joey. He acted on instinct, tackling him. He grabbed Joey by the arm and flung him onto the street before punching him in the gut. He gave him a black eye as a reminder. "**Get the hell out of here!**" He shouted, then rushed back to Cas.

"Novak! Cas, are you okay? Talk to me!" He asked frantically.

Cas smiled sadly up at Dean, blood dripping down his face.

"Dean." He said, weakly.

Dean locked lips with Cas, hugging him, tears dripping down his face. "Damn it, damn it, damn it! What do I do?"

He practically threw Cas into the impala, honking his horn to get people out of his way as he sped Cas off towards the hospital. He called Nicholas at the party. "The cops are on their way, get everyone out."

He wasn't about to let them be in his house with him gone.

"Cas. I'm sorry." His eyes were wet. Cas looked over at him. He tried to speak, but it caught in his throat, and his face pounded, the horrible headache spreading across his skull. He looked into the rear-view mirror, examining the damage. He would have gasped if he could have. Half of his face was swollen, his nose looking broken, blood still freshly pouring down his face. He could barely feel the pain, probably because it had gone numb. the front of his shirt was covered in his own blood.

After a while, Castiel began to feel light headed, and ended up passing out.

"Cas. Cas? Cas wake up. Novak!" Dean reached a hand to shake Castiel's shoulder. "Damn it." He mumbled, pressing the gas harder. He didn't turn on the radio like he normally would. Instead, he focused on the road, keeping one hand on Castiel's arm.

Cas woke up, blinding lights all around the ceiling. "Dean?"

A nurse came to him. "You can't receive visitors right now, honey. Your brother is in the waiting room."

"He's not my brother... My boyfriend..."

She dabbed a cotton ball against his face, peroxide or alcohol, by the burning feeling in his cuts, nodding along to what he said. "Cute." she said, and smiled down at him.

Cas looked down, he was still in his clothes, and he sat up. The nurse left, leaving him alone in the cold room.

He looked over to the door as it opened and closed again, and Dean smiled at him. Cas laughed, his voice scratchy and his voice hoarse. Dean sat on the hospital bed beside him. "You alright?"

He nodded, playing with the sheets. "I thought they weren't letting in visitors?"

Dean chuckled. "Since when have I ever listened to someone? I heard nothing was broken. Jut a lot of swelling, bleeding, and bruising."

Cas laughed, and their hands clasped, as they leaned against each other.

"Castiel Novak." Dean said, staring up at the roof. "I'm sorry. I should have just chilled at the house with you, shouldn't have called over all those people. I don't know who told Joey to come. I'm…" He cut himself off, feeling guilty.

"No, it was fun until that happened…"

Dean sighed, meeting Cas's eyes. "Well it won't happen again." Dean leaned closer to Cas, and they both began to close their eyes, anticipating the kiss that came next.

"I-" a small and nervous laugh came from the open door. Cas and Dean turned suddenly, both blushing.

The nurse's face was bright red. "You're free to check out, ."

Both boys stood, and Dean stuffed his hands into his pockets, while Castiel looked away. They left the hospital, and as soon as they were in the car, they kissed, sweet and long, glad that everything was all right.

"Cas, next time I swear I won't take my eyes off you."

Castiel laughed lightly. "It's fine, Dean."

Dean was completely serious. "No. It's not. I thought he broke your nose, I thought he gave you a concussion or coma thing or something, and I... I just couldn't... I had no idea what to do…"

Dean's left hand tightened on the steering wheel, while the other held on Castiel's hand tightly, as if to ensure he was okay.

"Dean."

He turned toward Castiel, visibly upset with himself. "Cas, I'm-"

"I love you." Cas looked away, his ears turning red.

Dean smiled, "I love you too." Their kiss lingered, and they rode home in silence, that silence being filled with their last spoken words.

They pulled into Dean's driveway.

"Hey so Cas. Abbadon is reopening, and I was wondering if you'd wanna go, Thursday?"

"Isn't the reopening during school?"

Dean nodded. "But if you don't want to, that's fine. We can go after school too."

Cas laughed. He was doing things he normally never would do, now that he was doing it with Dean Winchester. "Let's do it!"

Dean smiled, and their hands clasped.

"And thanks, Dean."

"Hmm? For what?"

"Well for starters, you took care of me. Also, you kicked Lucifer's ass."

Dean smiled. "And I'd do it again. Especially the kick ass part."

They both laughed.

The only thing they hadn't realized from that night, was who had been watching.

Tori, Dean's ex, had watched them kiss after the bloody episode with Lucifer.

_Dean. You left me for a faggot?_

She had smiled wickedly, and pressed her body against the side of the house, out of sight, planning her revenge.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's note: HEY GUYS. OK so I know it _seems_ like it's nearing the end of the story, but it's not! Actually, there's still a long way to go, so never fear, long-story is here! Well anyways... Enjoy!**

Tori leaned against the blue lockers, smiling at the approaching Lucifer, who opened the door until it almost smashed into her face. She flinched a little, thanking who ever invented hinges, then knocked lightly on the metal door.

Joey slammed his locker shut, glaring at her. "What, Vargas?"

Tori Vargas smiled wickedly. "I heard you have a problem with Castiel Novak. And a little trouble with Dean Winchester?"

He reopened his locker, stuffing things into it and his bag. "Yeah, so?"

"So… I want to help you."

"Girls like you only talk to guys like me if you want something done. What do you want?"

"Revenge on a gay ass hole."

He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, slipping a box of cigarettes into the front of his back pack. "What do I get?"

"The gay ass hole is Dean Winchester. Bonus is the other fag, Cas."

Joey grinned, finally interested. "Any more information?"

"They're gay together."

He laughed. "Oh, this is gold. Can't he be tossed off the team for that?"

Tori nodded, picking a small speck off of her acrylic nails. "Yep. So… I take that as a yes?"

"What's the plan?"

"I'll leave that to you." She dug in her purse for her lip gloss, and applied it heavily. "Have fun!" She sashayed away, her high heels clopping against the linoleum.

Dean and Cas walked into the school together, far enough apart to look like they're not together, but close enough to be within arm's length. They both filed into their geometry classroom, sitting down in their assigned seats, Dean directly behind Cas.

The bell rang and the teacher looked down at her papers, standing up from her desk.

"Pop quiz everyone!" The teacher said excitedly as the bell rang.

The groan was in unison for the entire class. She frowned, pushing her glasses up her nose.

"On a Monday?" Someone said, upset, from the front of the room.

"Yes, on a Monday. It's not so bad!" She said, as she passed out the papers. "Don't flip your papers over until I say go." She turned her back to take attendance, and Dean leaned up to Cas's ear.

"Cas." He mumbled.

Castiel ignored him, his eyebrows furrowing.

Go away Dean! He thought angrily.

Something tapped his shoulder, probably a pencil, and he still refused to look. Dean continued to pester him.

Cas felt Dean's desk bump his as he leaned over it, then warmth rushed over Cas's face and neck as Dean whispered in his ear.

"Dean Winchester? Do you have something you 'd like to share?"

"No Ms. Ruby."

"Hmph." She looked at him, annoyed. "You may begin."

The sound of papers being flipped over sounded throughout the classroom.

"And remember, this is a class copy so don't write on it."

Ms. Ruby might not have heard what Deans said, but Cas did.

" It's adorable when you try to ignore me."

Why does he think that? Cas thought frantically, his pencil flying through the math. He raised his hand to turn in the quiz after seven minutes.

"Eight minutes left everyone."

Most everyone had finished except for the slower kids. Dean included.

Cas silently hoped Dean had taken his time on the equations. Finding the exterior angles seemed to be his greatest struggle.

The clock seemed to tick by slowly, and Cas looked round the room, bored. He read the same posters over and over again, examining each one, but after doing this for just about half the year, he was running out of ways to keep his mind occupied.

How do you live your life when nobody's watching?

There's a fine line between passing and achieving.

There was homework?

Don't tell me the sky's the limit when there are footprints on the moon.

He read each one in turn, examining the accompanied pictures. None of them were inspiring at all. They were quotes and simple phrases that didn't ignite his creativity or education at all.

"Alright, times up. Put your quizzes in the black basket and for the rest of the period, get started on the practice questions for chapter seven."

Backpacks unzipped and notebooks were brought out. A girl raised her hand in the front of the room, and the teacher nodded to her. "Yes?"

"Can we work in groups?" She turned to the girl across the room from her and they gave each other a smile and thumbs up.

The teacher sighed, knowing those two would make a bad work group. "Turn to the person next to you and work with them. Cas glanced to both sides of him. One person was absent, and the other four in his row had already grouped up.

"Cas." The teacher smiled towards him. "Why don't you work with… she looked around him, looking for a good group. "Oh, don't you know Dean? Dean, why aren't you working with Josh like you should?" She helped them to push three desks together.

"Miss, I told you I was going to an optometrist this period." Josh complained. "Plus, I don't want to work with Dean!"

"Josh! That's not okay!" She said, looking towards Dean. She couldn't deal with a fight. She began to nervously pull Josh across the room. "Josh, go wait for your appointment in the office. Dean, Cas you work together!" She smiled, relieved.

Cas turned towards Dean seriously.

"Listen, Dean. Don't slow us down. We need this done by the end of the period, and-"

He was silenced in shock as Dean grabbed his hand from under the table, making sure his back pack was in the seat beside them, hiding the gesture. "I can help too. Do numbers 1-10 and I'll do 11-17."

Cas squeezed his hand. "Okay, but if you need help, just ask."

Dean rolled his eyes and began the work, their hands parting. They tried to give each other small hidden gestures like this throughout the day.

Periods passed until 5th rolled along. Lunch was next, and Cas couldn't wait. They weren't in 5th together, but they did have B-lunch. The clock seemed to mock him, until it gave him freedom at the bell. He packed his bag, trying to go quickly so he could meet up with Dean by the cafeteria doors. If he took too long, the lines would fill up and there would be barely anytime for him to tutor Dean in the library afterwards.

"Novak."

A chill slid down Cas's spine as he heard the familiar voice. He spun on his heel, instantly stiff and alert. "L-Lucifer." His voice was slightly trembling, but then he stood up proud, feigning bravery. "Go away, or I'll-"

"Call over your boyfriend? I don't think so."

Cas's fear grew, and his stomach twisted. "You know? How? Was it obvious? Did Dean tell you?"

"Calm down, Novak. I found out on my own. I'm the only one that knows besides you and Dean." He lied, acting completely calm and cool about it. Cas visibly relaxed, but he still had his guard up.

"How did you find out?"

"I saw a little too much, okay? But the point is… If you want it to stay between the three of us, you might have to do something for me." Joey's cruel thoughts roiled around, collecting more and more venom and he laughed wickedly on his mental side. What he was planning was gross, but it would be worth it to hurt Cas and Dean.

"What do you want? Money, a cheat sheet? Please don't tell… Dean could get thrown off the team!" He said that a little too loudly, but was glad everyone was on their way out the door.

"Follow me." Joey said, leading Castiel out of the door. He followed silently, desperately worrying about Dean. Hopefully, they'd find each other later and he could explain.

Joey looked back over his shoulder. "Dean usually meets you at the door, right?" Cas nodded.

"Good. I'll drop you off there. I'll tell him, and then I'll ask for my payment." Joey lied through his teeth, not looking forward to what came soon. He didn't care much though, as long as it meant revenge. He anticipated the look he'd receive for his upcoming 'performance'. Especially from the secret. Happy couple.

They arrived at the doors, and the crowd of student started to thin. Dean turned the corner into the hallway, walking towards the cafeteria doors.

Joey spotted him before Cas, and put his plan into action right before Dean looked towards them.

Dean walked around the corner, shouting "See ya at practice!" down the hall towards Nicholas. He adjusted his bag, and looked towards the cafeteria doors, hoping to see Cas.

At first, he didn't see him, so he checked again. What he saw next burned his soul and heart, damaging it far beyond repair.

He couldn't shout, he couldn't speak. Tears rushed to his eyes, as the scene before him uncovered itself.

People turned to look at Joey and Cas, but walked by, most not minding it, while others made faces of disgust. Dean didn't care about them. He had been betrayed, by the one person he trusted most in the entire world. Rage bubbled in him, but the sorrow that crushed it down forced him to not act. Instead, as soon as Cas looked his way, he bolted, running faster than he would for even one of his games. He couldn't go to the library, he couldn't go to the Impala, or home. They reminded him to much of the angel that had entered his life. The angel that ripped out hearts, crushed and twisted them, then replaced them as if everything was fine.

He began to pant, hyperventilating. He continued to run though. He didn't want to think about Cas. Never again would he look into the crystal blue eyes. He ran to the only place he could think of. He sprinted to the gym locker rooms, using his football key to get inside. Luckily, no one was there.

He threw his book bag in a rage, slamming a hand against a locker.

"God damn it!" He shouted, tears of anger and sadness pouring down his face. "Why did I trust you?!" He was yelling louder and louder, glad that the walls were thick. He kicked into a locker and it dented inwards. He then sat down on a bench, placing his head in his hands. He felt the moisture of his tears sitting against the palms of his hands.

"Cas… what the hell? Why?" He asked, pain emphasizing each word. His breathing came heavily and uneven. He had placed his entire trust in Castiel, and seeing how much Cas had lied to him, hurt him more than he could ever bear.

Cas lied about… everything.

He was disgusted by the small hope he had that it was a mistake. He just witnessed proof enough.

Cas was making out with Lucifer.

His mind was silent after the admittance, and it didn't bother with foolish hopes again.

Joey had his arms wrapped around Cas's waist, Cas's hand on his chest. They had been kissing.

He hoped Cas had enjoyed it. With venom, he hoped Cas enjoyed his new relationship.

But Joey? After Joey had abused him?

Guess he liked it rough. He shared a fake laugh with himself, as if even humor could help him.

It was all a lie. But what had Cas wanted? To hurt him? To use him?

Dean left the locker room. So the hell what if Cas wanted to do that? He could do it too.

Dean walked up to one of the nearest girls, Vanessa, and flirted with her. It didn't feel the same as it used to, especially with Cas on his mind. It had felt so real with him.

He got her to kiss him, and they ended up in one of the bathrooms, hardcore making out. He took his shirt off, and she was going to take hers off too, when the bell rang.

He knew he had only done it to get his mind off Cas, but it disgusted him. He knew Cas had betrayed him first, but Dean felt guilty. He slid back on his short and left Vanessa in the restroom while he headed off to class.

"Dean!" A small voice shouted his name from down the hall. He ignored it, quickening his pace. As if he would talk to that loser. He was Dean Winchester, the line-backer for the Freewill high football team. He was at the top of the school, and wasn't going to be dragged down by that dirt again.

"Hey Dean!" Nick called him over.

"Hey man. What's up?"

"The football team is throwing a killer party tomorrow night. You coming?"

"I am on the football team." He laughed, and they high-fived.

"See you then. We'll talk about the rest at practice."

Nicholas seemed to look off at something for a moment, and then laughed a little. "Looks like loser-brain wants to talk with you." He shoved Dean off towards Cas, snickering with the other players. Dean glared at Cas, and he suddenly seemed much taller, and more of a stranger to Cas as he approached.

"What do you want?" He asked, hoping each of his words were toxic. He wavered slightly as Cas flinched, but he continued to throw daggers with his sight.

Castiel stood on his toes, looking across the crowd. He spotted Dean saying goodbye to a few of his friends.

"Hey, Novak." Joey said, and Cas turned towards him.

Lucifer's mouth slammed into his, and Cas pushed against his chest, trying to get him off. Joey's hands wrapped around his waist, and Cas pushed harder, looking for Dean, frantically. His lips curled in, trying to force Joey away, but he watched Dean stand frozen.

Dean! Help! He called out with his mind. Dean did the opposite, sprinting away.

realized what it would look like to Dean. Joey released Cas at the exact moment Dean turned his back.

"What the hell, Joey?" He shouted. A fist collided with his face.

"Have fun with Deanie-weenie." Joey laughed evilly, and Castiel understood.

Joey turned his back to leave. Cas, in a rage, grabbed a open carton of milk from someone's tray.

"Hey. Assbutt."

As Joey turned, he flung the milk through the air, chocolate milk exploding all over him.

"Did you just throw something at me?" He asked, threateningly, approaching Cas slowly. "And ruin my shirt?"

People parted for Lucifer, afraid of what would happen. Some waited to watch, while some left in a hurry, not wanting to have to fill out a witness report.

"Yes." Castiel responded, unafraid.

After that, he turned on his heel and sprinted. He ran faster than he ever wanted to, knowing Joey wasn't far behind. The bell rang, and more students got in his way, and he tried to use his size as an advantage to weave through the crowd. He swallowed down his fear as he continued running.

"Novak! Lucifer! Get to class!" The gym teacher shouted.

They both stopped running simultaneously, and Joey drew a line across his throat with his finger.

"Dead." He mouthed.

Cas turned away, and felt a sudden rush of hope when he watched Dean leaving the restrooms.

"Dean!" He called, hoping his voice reached Dean above the noise. Dean didn't react, so he assumed he had been to quiet. He struggled to get closer.

Dean veered to the right, to talk with his friends.

He was quiet, sitting behind Dean awkwardly. He heard something about a party, but other than that he didn't pay attention.

He accidentally made eye contact with Nicholas, who laughed and pushed Dean towards him.

Cas's welcoming smile vanished, and he gulped as Dean approached him menacingly.

"What do you want?" He asked, his eyes burning with hatred and anger.

"Dean I-"

"Shut up, Cas." He began to walk away.

Cas grabbed his shoulder and he spun around angrily. "Don't touch me." He mumbled.

"Dean… You don't understand."

"Oh I don't understand? Which part do I not get? You making out with Lucifer, or Lucifer making out with you?"

Cas winced slightly. He felt the pain in Dean's voice.

"Dean, I don't think you get what I'm saying."

Dean looked down at Castiel, each lie tearing into him more and more.

They're all lies. He reminded himself.

"Don't pull your smart crap talk on me. And stop using those fake puppy-dog eyes. Just go fuck Joey or something."

Cas watched Dean walk away, his pain reflected in his eyes. In all the time they'd been together, even if that together was over, Dean had never looked that upset.

The hallway was clearing, and it was time to head to class. "Dean. I'll fix this." Cas mumbled, looking down at the floor. He walked to class, entering just after the bell.

"Detention." The English teacher said automatically, and then noticed who it was.

"Castiel? Why are you late, of all people?" He pulled a piece of paper from his desk, noticing the aura of depression that seemed to radiate from him.

Great… Cas thought. Congratulations on having the only teacher in possibly the entire planet that notices when a student is struggling.

Cas's eyes glanced across the classroom, and he looked straight at Dean, who didn't look up.

Dean felt the blue eyes on him, but he refused to look up, even though he was used to smiling up at them.

He heard the teacher say something about the guidance counselor, and the seat beside him remained empty for the rest of the class.

Dean was writing bullshit answers on his work sheet, laughing silently to himself. He had reverted back to his old self. The pre-Castiel stage. Even if he wasn't as happy as before, at least it wasn't fake happiness.

Why had he even dated that ass? Cas is an ass… ASStiel. He thought, and smiled. He'd have to use that one.

"Have you experienced a break-up before?" The guidance counselor looked at him with sympathetic eyes. He hated it. He fidgeted nervously under her stare.

"I haven't really had the time to date anyone before him."

"Well what's this boy's name? Should I talk to him too?"

Cas shook his head, biting his lip.

"Are you sure?"

"I said no."

"I understand that you're upset, but you shouldn't take it out on the innocent." She stated, still filled with empathy that radiated off of her like fire.

He simply glared out the window. She was pissing him off now. Luckily he hadn't told her anything except he broke up with someone he really loved. He hadn't told her about Joey. Otherwise, he'd be here stuck in a room full of angry teenage boys.

"I uh… Actually I need to go."

The counselor checked her watch "Oh my! We've been in here for two periods. Well, if you ever need to-"

When she looked up, the door was swinging shut.

Cas rushed to the library. Dean had to report to tutoring. If he didn't, he'd get a detention, school rules.

He felt like he knew before he got into the tutoring room, but he tried anyways. He opened the door, revealing an empty room.

"Dean." He mumbled, annoyed. He didn't bother reporting him. He left the library, heading towards the parking lot. Dean would have to come back to the Impala after practice. He stood next to the car, looking out towards the field, where practice had started. He saw Dean's spiky hair, and watched them practice their plays. Before long, they had finished, and one person headed towards the parking lot after changing.

Dean spotted Cas as he walked towards his car. He wanted to walk away, but he refused to leave his baby behind.

He completely ignored Cas, who stood silently while Dean opened up his car.

"What do you want, Cas? Another fake kiss?"

"Dean, nothing I did with you was fake."

Dean looked up at him, angry. "Prove it."

Castiel stepped around the car. "Dean. How can I prove it? Listen, please"

Dean stood up and shut the impala door, leaning against the car.

"Fine. I'm all ears."

Cas took a deep breath, hoping he was actually listening. "Lucifer planned it. He told me he knew about us-" They both knew he meant their relationship "-and he told me he wanted something so he would keep quiet. I followed him, he told me he would tell me when you got there, then he kissed me."

He paused, then realized that Dean could have mistaken it. "But, I didn't kiss him." He corrected.

"Well, you two looked real close, with your hands all over him like that."

"Dean, my hands were on him because I was trying to get him off of me."

"Cas. There's half of me that wants to believe you, and the more sane part of me knows I can't trust you, since you can't prove it. I'm not going through that shit again, if I trust you and you're lying."

They were both silent.

"Dean… How can I redeem myself?"

"I don't know if you can." He ran a hand through his hair, suddenly wishing he could know Cas was truthful.

"Dean… I really do love you."

"I think I do too. I don't want to be wrong on this, but I think you're right. The only thing is, Lucifer had no way of knowing we were together unless one of us told him."

Cas strained his mind, trying to figure it out. "Do you think he saw our kiss on the night of the party?"

Dean sighed. "How would I know?" He ran a hand through his hair. "Listen, I'll see you later, okay? Call me if you figure your stuff out."

"Dean… I'm sorry."

Dean opened the Impala door, ready to climb in, when Cas grabbed his shoulder, spinning him towards him.

He kissed Dean, the first time he had started the kiss. They both felt the passion behind the kiss, and they held each other close. Dean broke the kiss, his arms still wrapped around Cas.

"I love you." Cas said.

"Finally." He kissed Cas again, soft and sweetly.

"Dean." Cas pulled away.

"Cas? What?"

Cas grabbed Dean's hand, making him grab his collar. He stood up on his tiptoes.

"I'm sorry!" He yelled, and Dean stared at him, confused.

"Behind you." Cas whispered, and Dean nodded, understanding.

"Get out of here before I beat your ass."

Dean leaned in a bit closer, giving him a quick kiss. "Meet me by the stop sign outside the school." He whispered, and Cas gave a slight nod as Dean threw him away from him.

Cas scampered off, as if he was afraid of Dean's threat.

"Nice, Winchester." Michael and Nick came up behind him. "Hey man, forgot to tell you at practice, but party's at my house tomorrow."

Dean nodded to Michael. "Time?"

He shrugged. "Nick?" He asked.

Nicholas thought for a moment. "Let's do it around… Eight?"

They all nodded in agreement.

"I got to go for-" He almost hesitated long enough for them to notice. "-A date."

Michael winked and Nick grinned. "Hitting it off with the tutor, eh?" Michael laughed.

"You'd be surprised." Dean said, and only he knew they would be.

"Remember the dare." Nicholas winked as they walked away.

Dean had no idea what to do, but he had a bigger problem on his hands.

Cas was waiting at the stop sign. The only question was the trust. Maybe he'd have to talk to Lucifer himself. He returned to his car, finding someone in the front seat.

"Tori?" He asked, in disbelief.

"Hey babe."She smiled, flinging a golden curl over her shoulder. "I've got two tickets to a movie, you and me. Ready?"

Dean didn't sit in his car until he looked around the parking lot. Then he ducked into it.

"Listen Tori, I already met someone else."

"You're still with that fag, Castiel?"

"What?"

"Oh don't look at me like that! Did Joey tell you? Did he get you to pay him? Lucifer is in love with Cas, not you! He did it today, right?" Her ego and popularity was on the line. If she couldn't get the hottest guy in school even with a struggle, she couldn't do anything.

"How did you find out Cas and I are dating? And what do you mean? Joey didn't tell me anything, and I didn't pay him anything!" He was confused with all of her talking.

"Oh please." She looked down at her nails. "I watched you two get it on at that party. Behind the house? Yeah."

She looked at him triumphantly. "So we through here? You taking me to the movies, or what?"

"Get the hell out of my car."

"You seriously care about this car that much?"

"You made Joey kiss Cas, didn't you?"

"Hey. I let him decide what to do. I gave him a push, so that you'd come back to me, where you belong."

She smiled. "Besides, someone like you belongs with a girl like me. It's the natural order. Hottest guy is always taken by the hottest girl."

"You're disgusting." He glared at her.

"Come on, don't be like that…" She leaned over to him, and his grasp tightened on the steering wheel.

"Get the hell out of here, slut."

"What?" She asked, angrily.

"I said go back to the whore house where you belong."

"God damn it Dean! Now, you're going to drop. Understand? I'm telling Nick and Michael."

He stared straight ahead, unchanging, even though a thousand feelings rushed beneath his mask.

She left in a huff, slamming the door. She had pulled her key out of her pocket, smiling wickedly as she went to jam it into the side of the Chevrolet. Her key met air as Dean sped off, splashing up mud from the puddle.

"These were 250!" She shouted behind him, her pink heels covered in brown, thick, mud.

Relief was one of the first emotions that slammed into Dean. Relief that Cas hadn't lied.

Dread was next, knowing he had doubted Cas, and should have trusted him.

He pulled up next to the stop sign Castiel was waiting at.

"Cas. I'm sorry."

Castiel looked up from his book, climbing into the impala.

"For what?"

Dean kissed him, holding him tight.

"I should have believed you." A single warm tear ran out of his right eye, and he hugged Cas tighter.

"Dean? Um… Air." He mumbled, smiling.

"Hey Dean." Tori smiled cruelly, latched onto Nick's arm like a snake.

"Dean. What's up with that Novak loser? Tori told me you had something to tell me about him."

"Yeah, actually I do." Cas was walking by silently, minding his own business when Dean grabbed his shoulder.

"What is it?" Nick looked back and forth between them.

Dean kissed Cas, their lips locking. Cas tried to pull away, but Dean seemed to tell him through the kiss, that he didn't care anymore.

Dean pulled away. "Nick. This is my tutor."

Tori simply smiled, while Nick was borderline gaping. Michael was unreadable.

"I can't be on the team anymore, so I quit."

"What the hell, man? I mean, I've got nothing against gays, but you? You're our best player! Please tell me this is some prank…?" Nick looked sadly to Dean.

Dean shook his head. "I'm sorry Nick."

Michael looked at Nick. "You're okay, with their kind?"

"Yeah, I'm cool with them. It doesn't really effect me either way, so-"

"That's disgusting." Tori curled her lip. "Mikey, he's one of them."

"Mikey?" Dean looked at him, containing a laugh.

Michael glared. "Nick, it was great while it lasted, but you're off the team."

"No, Mike, don't drag him into this." Dean looked at him pleadingly.

Nick looked abandoned, one of his closest friends dropping him. "But I'm quarterback! You can't just drop me!"

"Just did. Uniforms back to coach by tomorrow."

"Mike, don't take this out on Nick." Cas provided, feeling guilty, having cost Dean and Nicholas's places on the team.

"Listen, team rules. Even coach supports it." He left, Tori still clinging to his arm.

"Dean, I'm sorry. Mike, I owe you an apology as well."

"Don't worry about it. This is what I wanted." Dean watched Michael's retreating back.

Nick nodded. "Yeah, those guys are asses anyway." He seemed to ponder something. "Hey Dean, as much as I don't like revenge, how about a little… fake innocence, I guess you could call it."

Dean smiled. "You ever crashed a party without intending to?"

"Well we _were_ invited."

Cas smiled, and laughed a little. "You guys really are bad."

They both laughed, knowing how innocent Cas was. "You became bad when you first kissed me back." Dean grabbed Castiel's hand, and he remembered to make introductions.

"Well Nick, meet Cas. He's my tutor."

"Wow. Never said your 'cute, smart, and incredibly sexy' tutor was a guy."

Dean turned bright red as Cas looked between them, not sure if he was supposed to be confused or flattered. Dean had called him those things?

Mike hummed thoughtfully. "Well, are you still going to follow through on the dare?"

"What dare?" Dean asked, confused.

"Hey Cassy, how about going down with Dean to the football field on Valentine's day? There's going to be a game against the Bears. You up for it?"

A grin spread across Dean's face. "Yeah Cassy, wanna go with me?"

"Cassy?" He asked, unamused.

"I'll take that as a yes." Dean winked, and he squeezed Cas's hand. "Well, how about some extra long tutoring? I don't have practice afterwards."

Nick looked between the two of them. "You really are a cute couple." He remarked, and they both turned slightly pink.

"I'm not '_cute_'" Dean said defensively.

Nicholas rolled his eyes. "Yeah, whatever. See you guys tonight. Party's gonna be _great_."

Nick left for his car, leaving far earlier than he normally would have on a day of practice. Unfortunately, practice wouldn't come again for him.

Cas and Dean left to the library for tutoring. If by tutoring you mean Dean continuously flirting with Castiel while he was trying to teach and of course if all tutoring sessions turn into a make-out session.

In other words, '_tutoring_'


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's note: There was some minor confusion, but this is the true chapter four! Please enjoy!**

**^Disregard that note if you have no idea what I'm talking about^**

Castiel looked in the mirror one more time, hoping he looked good enough for his date with Dean tonight. After crashing the party at Michael's house, they planned to go to a movie. He had no idea what movie, but he was excited anyways. He had a deep feeling of fear combined with excitement when he thought about tonight's plans.

He was struggling to fix a small strand of hair that was beginning to poof out when he heard a knock on the door. He leaned over the counter, squinting hard at his reflection, smiling as if satisfied.

As he left the bathroom, he noticed his shirt was buttoned wrong, and he was blushing profusely as he opened the door. Dean stood there grinning, leaning against the doorframe. "You ready?" He asked, winking. Castiel swallowed back the fear of tonight, and replaced it with happiness.

"I can't wait!" He responded with excitement.

Dean's eyes ran down Castiel and he laughed a little, standing up from his leaning position to fix his shirt. Cas stood straight, his face turning bright pink. "Your shoes are on the wrong feet." Dean commented.

Cas looked down; he was sure he had put them on right. They weren't on the wrong- Dean flicked his forehead. "Gotcha." He laughed, swinging his arm around Castiel's shoulder, leading him down towards the impala.

Castiel rubbed his head in annoyance. "Not funny, Winchester."

Dean smiled crookedly. "Come on, Novak. We have a party to crash."

Sitting in the '67 felt warm and comforting, as Castiel leaned back in his seat after buckling up. He shut his eyes, listening to the music for a moment. "Styx?" Castiel guessed, and Dean nodded in approval.

"I've taught you well." He said, grinning with pride. "Finally getting into the classics, huh?"

Castiel nodded. "They're better than the crappy music i here on the radio everywhere." He said, staring out the window with his chin resting on his palm, his elbow resting against the closed door as Dean pulled off down the neighborhood drive.

The street lights passed by quickly, signs flashing in the light of the headlights as Dean drove towards the large mass of cars in a part of their neighborhood.

'Yield' 'Stop' 'Dead end'. The same signs Castiel had passed by thousands of times to reach the cul-de-sac of his neighborhood.

A two-story house was in view now, lots of people there for the party. People were already lying on the lawn, beer cans strewn around them, probably passed out, awaiting the morning hangover.

They parked someway down the street, the music pounding throughout the entire block. "How do they not get reported for this?" Castiel asked in wonder.

Dean laughed a little, though he didn't find the concept very funny. "His parents are rich, so he buys out the neighbors, making sure they keep quiet. It's also how he gets all his alcohol."

"Oh." Cas commented quietly, noting the multiple ethical and moral wrongs with that situation.

They entered the large house after pushing past the horde in the yard, and Dean pulled Cas off to the side. "Okay, Cas. You just wait here, all right? Don't move. I'm going to find Nicholas."

Castiel nodded. "Bye." He muttered, worry consuming him as Dean slipped into the loud swarm of people. The noise and sound of voices was overwhelming and confusing. Castiel looked around, but everything seemed to blur together.

A woman was stumbling towards him, and she looked to be a year or so older than him. "You're hot." The girl slurred, and he guessed by her stumbling and the impaired ability of her speech that she was drunk. Her breath and her entire self in general was pungent with the stench of a strong booze. He tried to ignore her, but her grip was tight as she dragged him off towards the staircase. He almost tripped as he tried to pull away from her and down the stairs, but now more people had come out from a room upstairs, and they pulled him into that same room. A circle of people were centered around a bottle, and Castiel was confused at first, wondering what the beer bottle was used for if not for drinks.

"Winner gets to kiss him." She laughed, throwing him into the circle of girls and picking up a green bottle marked with some sort of wine name.

He looked around in fright, his eyes wide and heart pounding. Each girl looked at him with strange hungry and feral gazes, and the one that had pulled him in spun the bottle. It landed on a girl, but no one seemed to pay attention. Instead they all crawled towards him, smiling.

Dean looked around for Castiel, frantic now. "Damn, Nick, he was right here." He pointed to the spot on the corner. His heart was pounding even faster, and he didn't stop riveting his head around in search.

"Dude, you need to chill." Nick commented, looking around calmly. "I see your brother. He's by the stair case."

Dean's head snapped to the staircase, and he spotted Sam and Jessica someways across the pit of elbows, alcohol and couples. He pushed by them, intent on getting to his brother. "Hey, Sammy. Did you see Cas anywhere?"

Sam looked away from Jess and towards his older brother in surprise. "Cas? He went upstairs with some chick." He reported, and turned back to Jessica.

"Are you sure he's your older brother? Because he's really short." She laughed, though Dean didn't have the time or patience to defend himself.

A burst of anger bubbled up in Dean. "And you just let it happen?" He asked, rage spilling out of his words. He pounded up the stairs, trying each door in turn.

Sam stared after his brother curiously. Didn't Dean hate Castiel Novak?

Most doors that Dean opened had things he didn't ever want to see again, and yet he had to keep looking for Cas. He swung open one door and looked down distastefully at one of his old friends rolling around with a girl. "Dude. Emily? You can do better." He said, then went back to searching for his boyfriend.

Castiel crawled backwards, away from the girls that approached him.

"Me first!" One complained.

"No, me!"

"The bottle landed on me." Another said, though Castiel was almost positive it had landed on that other chick.

He was pushed up against the wall now, their hands struggling to take off his shirt. He blocked them, forcing back there hands, but he only had two, and he wasn't as strong as he would have preferred. "G-Go away!" He said angrily, though his voice trembled in fear. "D-Dea-!" His mouth was covered by one of the girl's hands, and he was pinned down. The door swung open, and Castiel turned his head away as one girl's came towards his face.

She was flung off of him. "Get out of here, you skank!" A familiar and rough voice shouted.

"Dean!" Castiel said in relief as the girls retreated from the room like a scared pack of dogs. Nicholas shortly followed Dean into the room. Dean helped Cas up, and he wrapped his arms around his angel.

"You don't have a lot of good experiences at parties, huh?" He asked, and Castiel shook his head roughly.

"Thanks, Dean." He mumbled. He felt safe in Dean's embrace, and he honestly didn't want to leave that situation, the party music pounding quietly in the background, Dean's scent and arms surrounding him.

Nicholas ducked his head out of the room for a second. "Hey Dean, Mike is up for his speech thing."

Dean nodded, and his hand wrapped around Castiel's. All three of them left the room, waiting at the top of the stairs as Michael stood up on the table. He held a microphone, and looked proud as he turned off the music.

"Hey, everybody, listen up!" He said, raising his hands as everyone fell silent. "Who out there has a valentine already?"

Lots of people cheered, holding up their loved one's hand along with their own.

Dean pulled Castiel closer, signifying his claim that he had made the other day. He recalled it with pride.

_Castiel looked up at the board for homework, writing down the instructions automatically. In less than three days, Valentines Friday would be here. The teacher had written under homework "find a valentine"_

_Castiel swallowed nervously. He had promised himself he would do all his homework that year._

_He turned around in his seat, looking towards Dean, who was doodling on his notebook. "D-Dean…?" He started hesitantly, and Dean looked up, surprised that Castiel was talking during class._

_"Mr. Novak, what are you doing that is so important for you to not be paying attention?" The math teacher asked, annoyed._

_"Doing my homework." Castiel said automatically, and the class burst out laughing. He was confused until he followed the teacher's glance at the homework assignment. The only homework assignment. He had thought there had been at least a workbook page?_

_The math teacher looked slightly amused. "Okay. And who was going to be yours this holiday?" She asked, crossing her arms. She looked to all the girls behind him expectantly. "Well? Which one?"_

_A few of the girls blushed behind him, and Castiel sunk into his seat, not responding._

_"I am!" One girl said, standing proudly._

_"Sorry, I saw him first." Another girl added._

_"He was looking at me, Madison." A new girl joining the discussion._

_Dean stood suddenly, looking down into the bright blue eyes he adored so much. "Castiel Novak, will you be my valentine?" He said out loud, and the entire class began to laugh, most thinking it was a joke._

_Castiel's face bloomed pink as the class continued to laugh, only him and the teacher seeming to realize it wasn't a joke._

_"Well?" The teacher asked, smiling. "Will you accept?"_

_He felt more blood rush to his cheeks. "Yes…" He said quietly, and Dean lifted Castiel up from his seat._

_The class then caught on that it wasn't a joke, and most 'awwww'ed when they kissed, while others were silently disgusted. Dean and Castiel didn't care though. They broke apart, both smiling, though Castiel's entire face and neck was a few shades redder than normal._

_The teacher coughed a little. "Lets keep in PG in here. PDA, you know kids?"_

_"That only stops me while we're in school." Dean mumbled into Castiel's ear, and his face went red again._

Michael was standing up on the table, shaking his fist in the air. "All right!" He congratulated. "Well in two days, valentines day, there's going to be a valentines day dance. Instead of going to that lame event, come on over to Tori Vargas's house, for a real party!"

Michael continued. "Also, if you guys haven't heard yet, we have a big plan set up tonight! In fact it's going to start soon!"

The majority of people cheered except for the confused half.

Nicholas leaned over to Dean. "Let's get closer." He casually suggested. Dean followed Nick, leading Castiel through the crowd, his grip tight so as to not lose him again. Even though he could feel Castiel's hand in his, he glanced back at him occasionally.

"Actually, we have some honored guests here tonight." Michael said over the speakers, and Castiel looked up, mildly interested as to who the guest were. A band perhaps?

Nicholas stopped, and Dean looked at him in confusion as Nicholas gave a thumbs up to Michael.

Castiel and Dean looked up at Mike to see a smile spread across his face as he looked down at them.

"Here, they are!" He announced, spreading his arms out for emphasis. "The faggots!" He pointed to Dean and Castiel.

Dean looked to Nick in shock, and Nicholas simply smiled back, taking a step back from where the two were standing. The people behind Dean and Castiel dumped buckets of glitter and confetti over their heads, laughing. People were cracking up, and those who couldn't see still did, trying to fit in. People moved around them to get a better look.

Dean was pissed and embarrassed all in one, but he looked over to Castiel, who looked up in awe, obviously not hearing the insult. The room had fallen silent as they looked onto Castiel, who was bouncing up and down as if happy.

"Confetti! It's a parade!" He said, holding out his hands, smiling a little, laughing while he did. He turned towards Dean. "Dean, we're the honored guests!"

People began to laugh again, and Dean realized Castiel had heard the insult, but instead of getting butt-hurt, he was trying to cheer up Dean, sensing that he was upset.

He played along. "Whoa, Michael, we're so honored to be your honored guests!" He announced, and more people began to laugh. He picked off pieces of confetti and sparkles, climbing onto the table with Castiel. He dumped some over a surprised Mike's head.

Cas patted him on the shoulder. "We wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for you." He said to Michael. the sarcasm implied, but not enforced.

Dean smiled. "Funny story, folks. Nicholas and Michael were the ones that dared us to go out."

A few of the football team members confirmed it, and the crowd was laughing their asses off.

Tori looked up at Michael in disgust. "Seriously?" She asked, dumping vodka over his head and storming out of the house.

Dean and Castiel danced around on the table, while Michael fumed. He went to push Cas off the table, but Castiel ducked, then stood with a bundle of the glitter off the floor. He tossed it into Mike's face, who shook his head wildly, trying to get it off of him without messing up his hair.

Dean high-fived his tutor/boy friend, kissing him on the spot. People cheered, even the homophobes, at the display, and they started chanting.

"Faggots! Faggots! Faggots!"

People had been recording it, and now as they mad their way to the door, people high-fived them and congratulated them at the display.

People were cheering them on even as they walked out of the party, smiling at the Michael who glared after them, defeated. They had made that insult meaningless, the word now a good one in the minds of the students at FreeWill High school.

"Well Cas, let's get you home and cleaned up for our date."

Castiel laughed, wiping the shiny sparkles off of his face. "You have some on you too."

Dean hesitated once they got to his precious baby, and he looked down at the glitter.

Castiel dug in his pocket. "I've got it." He said, producing keys from his pocket. He held them up proudly. "Nicholas asked me to hold onto them yesterday, but I forgot to return them. His house is right over there, right? We can get Sam to take the impala to the movie theater and we'll leave Nick's car there." He smiled triumphantly.

He pointed two houses down, and Dean nodded, smiling. "For the goody angel you are, you're pretty bad-ass."

Castiel blushed. "No. I just am thinking logically. When someone does something wrong, they owe penance. This is his."

Dean nodded sarcastically. "Alright mister moral code. Let's steal a car."

Castiel's face turned pale when he said 'steal,' but reassuring himself, he followed Dean to the other car.

He took a shower at Dean's house after picking up clothes from his place. He washed his hair thoroughly, attempting to remove the small sparkles. Dean was in the other bathroom, and it was getting slightly annoying how hot Dean liked his showers, Castiel's water quickly going cold.

He climbed out soon enough, turning off the water completely.

He heard the other shower stop shortly afterwards, and he quickly dried his hair and body.

Tossing on his pants, he noticed he didn't have a shirt. He felt a small sense of dread as he stepped out into the hallway.

"Dean?" He said aloud, looking for him.

Dean was spiking his hair when he walked around the corner. "Yeah, Cas?"

"Do you have a shirt I can borrow?" He said, his face turning pink when Dean looked down at his bare chest.

Dean was smirking, his eyes on Castiel's abdomen, and he couldn't help but feel self concius. "Dean!" He called out again.

"Oh, uh yeah. I'll be right back." Dean said, going into his room, and to tease Cas, he did a few double-takes on the way.

He exited his room tossed Castiel a black shirt. Castiel tried it one, smiling. Blue lettered, Metallica was embroidered on the shirt. He knew it was one of Dean's favorite shirts.

Castiel followed Dean out to the impala, Sam having left the party early and dropping off the car, taking Nick's back to his house out of sympathy, that neither Dean, nor Cas approved of.

"Cas, do you work out?" Dean asked teasingly, smirking as he unlocked the impala.

Castiel sighed. "I, unlike others, do all my homework on Saturday. I have nothing to do on Sundays except for going to church, and so I signed up for gym. I don't do a whole lot though."

Dean rolled his eyes. "Why didn't you tell me you had abs? That's a major turn-on." He joked.

Castiel felt the color in his cheeks grow, and he crossed his arms over his chest as the car pulled out of the drive way and onto the open road.

"I don't brag." He finally responded, upset that he had forgotten his shirt. "Why does it matter anyways? Let's just go to the dumb movie already."

Dean rolled his eyes. "Alright but I'm coming with you this Sunday."

Castiel practically jumped out of his seat. Dean seeing him like that? "Dean, it's like my study sessions. You distract me too much." He murmured, staring out the window.

Dean shook his head. "Can't stop me now, Cas. I wanna see you in shorts."

Castiel wasn't surprised, but his face grew darker. "W-what?" He asked, even though he had heard him just fine.

Dean turned up the radio in response, a grin on his face as they drove off to the theater.

"Hey Dean... You're okay, right?" Castiel asked a short while later.

Dean looked over to Castiel, confused. "Okay with what?"

Cas bit his lip, watching the road pass by. "It's just that after Nick betrayed us, you looked so hurt, betrayed. I wanted to know if you're good now?"

Dean nodded. He felt happy that Cas had noticed and cared. "Yeah. Thanks for the show back there." He chuckled a little. "I expected you to run out in tears, but you stood up all glitter-fied."

Castiel shook his head, looking over to Dean. "Not when someone's hurting my friends. I probably would have ran out if I were alone, but you were hurt by Nicholas. I had to help you."

Dean swallowed back a small lump in his throat. He was not going to go all sentimental right now. "Thanks, Novak." He said quietly, because he knew if he spoke too loud, he'd let his emotions out.

Cas nodded, grinning widely. "It was fun to get back at Michael though."

Dean laughed. "Is it that penance thing again?"

Castiel nodded in approval. "Glad you remembered such a big word, but no. This was simply an unexpected reaction that he got. He didn't plan for it, and so he was left confused. He was the cause of his own embarrassment."

Dean nodded in approval. "This is why I'm dating you." He laughed. "You're the smartest kid I know."

Castiel sighed. If he planned to be his class valedictorian, he might have made a big mistake dating Dean Winchester, and yet he was still happy with his choice. The corners of his mouth turned up. He was happy with Dean. He didn't need to be top of the class to get into a good college. He needed to keep up with his grades, and that, he could handle, even when he was dating the hottest and baddest guy in the school. He kissed Dean's cheek shyly, and Dean's response was a small pink tint to his face.

"Come on, no romance scenes." He complained, even though Castiel could tell he was holding back a smile.

They arrived at the movies with no problem, that is until Cas learned they'd be watching a horror movie. He tried to stay calm, planting a fake smile on his face, even though he was shaking inside. He had never done good with horror films, especially not creepy killer ones like the one Dean had just bought tickets for.

'The Ripper' a movie based on the Jack the Ripper stories. Castiel shuddered, knowing there would be bloody scenes and gore, and fear and-

Dean glanced over to him. "You cold, Cas?" He took off his jacket, tossing it over Cas's shoulders, and he felt slightly better as they approached the 9:00 movie room.

They were slightly late, and so they opened the door quietly, sneaking in. They sat down near the front, and Castiel couldn't stop worrying.

Almost as soon as they sat down, there was a bloody scene where a woman was being ripped apart. Castiel tried to convince himself it was just a movie, but he gave in.

"I'm going to get popcorn." He mumbled, rushing out I the room. He was almost running by the time he flew open the door, shutting it tightly. He was hyperventilating and shaking from fear. This is why he hated scary movies. The uncontrollable fear.

He stood away from the door, heading to the front of the movie theater for the food he had promised. He glanced around at the people beside him, extreme paranoia taking over.

Someone bumped into him and he almost took off running. He remembered it was just a movie. That had been fake blood and limbs, it was just an actor screaming and crying.

He bought the popcorn and headed back into the movie room, scared again. At least he had some time to cool off.

He found his seat next to Dean, shutting his eyes as the police began investigating the crime scene. It was a bloody mess, her limbs strewn across the wall and alley, and Jack's symbol written in the blood.

Dean took the food from him, grateful, but Cas was surprised he still had an appetite.

He tried to think about something else, look anywhere but the screen, but in a movie theater, there wasn't much for him to do.

He then tried to watch it, forced himself to stay in his seat. His knee began to bounce and he was gripping into the arm rests for dear life. He knew he wouldn't make it long.

As soon as he saw a lone woman walking down the street, he knew she would be torn to shreds.

He attempted to stay there through it, reminding himself that Dean was there beside him and so were all these other people. That Jack the Ripper only went after female prostitutes.

Jack had begun tearing her to shreds, and Castiel shut his eyes. It would be over soon... soon...

*gush* *drip* *squish*

He stood, unable to tell Dean where he was headed as he rushed for the restroom. He emptied his guts in a toilet, the graphic images and horrific noises haunting him. He was glad Dean was still enjoying the date, but he was over it. It was scaring him to no end.

He sat back down with Dean, but didn't have the guts to tell him he wanted to go home. "Hey, Novak, you alright?" He asked, brushing a stray hair from Castiel's face. "You look pale." He said as quietly as he could, looking away from the screen out of concern.

Cas nodded, a new smile plastered on his face. "Yeah I'm good." He lied.

He shut his eyes, and to hide that fact, he leaned his head against Dean's shoulder, ignoring the screaming of the movie goers as they were frightened by a jump scare. He focused on nothing, wishing that the dialogue didn't describe the scene perfectly. He wished the cop hadn't fell into the bloody mess, making that horrible noise.

After a while of this, he fell asleep, glad that he wouldn't have to deal with the movie anymore.

He was proved wrong when he was there, running down a cobbled street. He was knocking on doors, trying to get inside, knowing that he was going to be ripped apart, that he was a target of the ripper.

He was cornered now, a large wall stopping his progress. He turned, but he didn't even see the killers face. All he felt was the pain as he was torn apart. He watched it happen from a different point of view, the ripper's, but he still felt the pain. He felt fearful, even though he knew it was a dream.

He jolted awake, Dean shaking him gently. The lights had faded back on and eerie music played as words rolled down the screen.

"Hey Novak, sleep time is over." He laughed.

Cas looked around, his eyes wide and heart racing. He was back in the movie theater. He was fine...

"I'll be right back." He mumbled, and he could hear Dean chasing after him as Cas ducked into the bathroom. He threw up again, this time stomach acids flooding to his throat. It burned like hell, but he couldn't stop.

He hated the way he was frightened so easily, hated how easy it was to scare him. He wished he was strong like Dean, able to laugh off a movie like that.

When he came out of the stall, Dean was leaning against the counter. "You wanna tell me what's going on, or do I have to guess?"

Castiel simply shook his head, not wanting Dean to know he was that afraid of a stupid movie.

Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel, hugging him tightly while he shuddered in his arms. "You can't lie to me."

He led Castiel to the sink, aiding him to wash his face."Are you sick?" He guessed, but Cas shook his head as he rinsed his mouth out.

As they were leaving the bathroom, Dean guessed again. "Are you... Do you have that eating disorder thing?"

Castiel was surprised. "What? No!" He said, and Dean nodded.

"Were you afraid then?"

Cas froze, shuddering. He stopped in his stride, and Dean grinned.

"You were afraid!" He said, hauling Castiel to the exit of the movies. He allowed him into the impala, trying to hold back a laugh in the silence. "Was it nasty, or scary to you, or both?"

Castiel kept quiet, ignoring Dean. "It's not funny!" He said angrily, remembering how much he had been trying to hide his fear earlier.

Dean frowned. "I know. Just trying to lighten the mood."

Castiel sighed. He felt bad now. "Dean, I'm sorry this date didn't turn out like we planned. I get this stupid fear tremor thing and I-"

"Cas." Dean cut in. "You don't have to apologize. It's not like it was your fault." He pulled the car into drive. "Let's get you home. We'll chill at your house for a while."

Castiel nodded, smiling. Dean didn't mind the problematic movie disaster. Castiel felt immensely grateful for the fact that he had become Dean's tutor.

The interior of the car was warm, the leather comfortable, and for the first time in a while, Castiel felt secure.

Dean's jacket still rested around his shoulders, and he pulled it tighter. "Hey, Dean?"

He glanced at the boy as he stopped at a red light. "Yeah?"

Castiel bit his lip. "Er, never mind."

He looked over to him skeptically. "No, seriously, what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong. And that's the best part." He smiled, sinking into the passenger seat. "By the way, what do you plan doing for college?" He was curious as to what Dean had in mind for a career, and eager for a sudden subject change.

Dean had noticed the obvious topic avoidance, though, as the light turned green, he pressed on the accelerator and accepted the new discussion. "Whatever I do, I want to travel. I don't want to stay in one place for too long." He responded.

"A flight attendant?" Castiel suggested, but shook his head quickly. "Never mind. You're too mean." He joked.

Dean nodded. "I want to stay in the country. How 'bout you?"

Castiel considered. "Well I wanted to go to medical school, but I'm thinking about maybe doing something else. I've always wanted to go into politics..."

"Like, lawyer work?" He asked, and of course he thought about Sam.

Castiel pondered that thought. "No. More like government. I think it would be cool to rule under a president. Maybe like... A governor?"

Dean took a left at the next light. "Like angels under god, the government under the president."

Cas looked to him in surprise. "Good analogy. You're really learning. But where did that weird similarity come from?" Castiel asked, slightly confused as to what would make him think if that first. What about bees? A queen bee and the workers...?

Dean shrugged. "I dunno'. So this politic stuff. Doesn't that involve a lot of moving around and stuff?"

"More or less." He responded. "But you'd have to pick up your grades a lot if you'd want to go into political careers."

The corner of his mouth turned up. "That's a lot to ask of me." Dean said sarcastically. "I went from D's and F's to straight C's." he declared proudly. But then his smile disappeared. "But Dad wants me to take over the family business. At least Sam has a choice. He's becoming a lawyer, while me and dad are stuck together."

Castiel felt sympathy tugging at his heart. "Dean, maybe I should talk to John."

"No use." He mumbled. "Ever since mom died in the fire he grew really distant. He's been obsessing over keeping her company up and running."

Castiel nodded sadly. He agreed not to approach John about it, even though he would try.

Dean sighed in relief.

Castiel felt guilty for lying, so he tried to make up for it. "Just imagine: I could be governor, president, a secretary. I could be any of those things. I'd just have to get into law school and a decent college."

Dean pulled into the driveway of Castiel's house. "Decent? You wouldn't settle for that."

He nodded, thinking. "You're right. Decent colleges aren't even worthy of my thoughts." He joked.

Dean opened the door for Castiel, who went up to the front door with Dean, joking about his strict beliefs about education.

Castiel turned the key in the lock, though he was surprised to find that he had ended up locking the door, which meant the door knob had been unlocked.

He stood still, his breathing coming in short but slow gasps. Someone was inside his house?

_No... Maybe I didnt lock it properly_. He hoped. He unlocked the door again, opening the white door as slowly and quietly as he could. Dean had taken the obvious hint to be silent.

His face paled, and he was about to tell Dean to run when he heard the clicking of familiar stilettos as his mother walked around the comer to greet him. She took one glance at Dean. One.

"Who is this?" She smiled, and it was obvious the smile was fake. Venom poured from her every crevice of her fake smile, a definite dis-welcome to him.

"M-mother, allow me to introduce Dean Winchester, son of John Winchester. He's our neighbor." Castiel explained, a certain grace to his voice.

Dean was confused with the sudden formalities. He stood silent, feeling out of place.

"Did I just hear a stutter at the beginning of that sentence, young man? Also, I'd like you to explain to me what you're doing coming home with him at ten o'clock at night."

Castiel fidgeted, and she smacked him. "I'm sick of your nervous habits, Castiel, and all of your lies. Go upstairs immediately, and do not remove yourself from that situation until you can properly speak to your mother."

He looked defeated and depressed as he left for his room, a bright red mark across his face. His shoulders were sunken and his eyes were radiating sadness. Was this what Cas had to deal with in his life everyday?

Dean swallowed back his anger. He was ready to lash out at Cas's mother, but he held himself back, not wanting Cas to be upset.

As soon as he was upstairs and in his room, his mother turned towards Dean.

"You're his boyfriend." She guessed, and he knew she had figured it out almost immediately.

"How did you-"

"Know that? Simple. The lost look in his eyes when he looked towards you. He saw hope." She said the word with disgust. "He believes that a god exists in this world, but there is none. He believes you can make him happy, but there's no chance. He'll lose any sort of sense he has in this world with you." She accused.

Dean ignored her insults towards her son and himself. "Well it's a pleasure to meet you." He said, offering a hand to shake, though he had intended with his tone to be uninviting.

She looked down at it distastefully. "Charmed." She grasped his hand lightly, as if afraid to touch it. "I'll have you know that if you distract Castiel from his studies, you will lose any hope of advancing in this world. He is to become a doctor and that is final."

Dean remembered the conversation they had earlier in the car. "What if he became the president?" He asked, hopeful that Castiel would be able to amount to such a thing. What was he thinking? Of course he could... Castiel could do anything.

She nodded slowly. "If he became the president, he'd quickly destroy the world with his mindless and careless actions. He's stupid and deliberately moronic."

Dean stared up at her in surprise. "Castiel is the top in all his classes." He had never seen a mother that was so mean to her child, hateful and ashamed of him."He's smart... He may graduate Valedictorian!"

She met his stare with a stern annoyance. "He may be getting A's, but I have no way of knowing if someone is changing his grades. Maybe they take pity on him, or he's been printing fake report cards. He disgusts me, in every way possible in this small and grotesque world." She looked down to meet his defiant green eyes. "I'm sure your mother would be disappointed as well. But what would you know? You're a child, and as I recall, your mother is dead."

Dean's confusion became rage as she mentioned his mother. "My mom died, trying to protect my little brother. Don't you even think her name. You can't even take care of your own family, so don't try talking about mine. That boy upstairs is my family now too, so you won't hurt Cas."

Her eyes blazed with curiosity. "Cas? You gave him a nickname?" She asked, slightly bemused.

Dean was confused by her interest. "Yes...?" He wasn't sure where she was going with this.

She looked completely shocked and in wonder. "Do you really care about him that much? You try to defend his actions and you love him thoroughly? It's so naive!" She exclaimed, laughing breathlessly. "He's incompetent, incapable of the most simplest of tasks. What would ever influence you to care for him?"

Dean didn't understand half the words she had used, but he got the gist. "He's not stupid. He's amazing in every way. Cas is better than me, and far better than you."

She glared down at him, and if he was her child, she would have smacked him. "You should respect-"

"No, I shouldn't. I shouldn't respect someone who won't return it. I love Castiel, and he loves me. I care about him, unlike you. I wonder how he got his low self esteem, his study-hard attitude, his uncontrollable fears, everything! Every little flaw!"

She held up a hand to her chest, as if hurt. "And you accuse me of this?" She felt slightly in awe the boy. She wouldn't have minded having him for a son. He was persistent and confident, unlike the blubbering idiot she had birthed that was upstairs.

He clenched his fists again, trying to ensure they didn't fly out at her. "Good day, miss Novak." He quickly fled the house before he could drag her out by her hair.

She closed the door quietly behind him, and he stormed off to the side of the house. Up he climbed, first using a trash can to reach the window sill of the second story. He couldn't be sure if it was Castiel's room, but the light was on so he assumed it was.

He pulled himself up, and he was precariously holding on to the shingles of the roof while his feet sat on the window sill. He felt himself slipping as he tapped the window with his foot. As soon as he heard it slide open, he kicked his foot in, sliding down until he sat on the inside of the house's window.

Castiel heard a small tapping on the window, and he rubbed his eyes. He was confused when he saw the blurry image behind the glass, and when he slid open the window, he felt a burst of hope when he saw jeans and a pair of brown shoes.

"Dean?" He whispered, and soon he was sitting on the inside of the window, smiling brightly. "How's it going, Novak? I promised you we'd hang out."

Castiel glanced at the door. "Not here though, right?" He was glad Dean was here, but at the same time he was fearing the wrath of his mother.

"She won't bother me." He mumbled, and he felt smug as he remembered her face.

Castiel doubted him, but he hoped it was true. "It takes a lot to keep her down." He said skeptically.

Dean rolled his eyes. "Well let's bomb this place." Castiel's eyes widened and he tried to correct himself. "Bomb as in leave, Novak." He laughed, starting to crawl out the window again.

"D-Dean? I can't crawl out of the window, it's just... I've never done it before."

Dean smirked. "A first time for everything." He took the frightened boy's hand, leading him until he sat by him on the window. They both kicked their legs out. "Okay. So you go like this, and then drop." Dean slid around, his arms latching tightly onto the window sill. He then released his grasp, and Castiel grabbed his hand.

"Dean!"

He laughed. "Cas, it's alright. I've done this before." He loosened Castiel's grasp, dropping to the grass below.

He gulped, even though Dean seemed unhurt. "I don't know if I can do this."

"Relax." Dean said, and Castiel tried to take calming breaths. He was about to lower himself down when he slipped, falling towards the ground.

Dean watched Cas falling, and he practically dove for the side of the wall, catching Castiel as he fell from above. The impact almost knocked him to the ground, over a hundred pounds being thrown into his arms, but he stood his ground, glad for the football season training.

Castiel's eyes were shut tight, but he opened them a little, seeing Dean. "Y-you caught me?" He asked, hugging Dean's neck tightly. "Thank you." He mumbled, shaken from the scare. "I thought I was going to die!"

Dean laughed a little. "Die? From a 7 foot drop? Probably not."

Castiel stood after being placed down, wiping himself off. "Well, where to?" He asked a little shakily.

Dean thought about it. "There's that one 24-hour mini-mall place. I need to get some things anyways." Including a valentines day gift that he had procrastinated on.

"Okay." Castiel grinned. "I haven't been there before. Let's do it."

They were in the Impala, driving away when Dean checked his rear view mirror. Castiel's mother stood outside, holding up something. Dean squinted, but he couldn't make out what it was.

"Cas, did you forget anything at home?"

He checked his pockets. "No. My phone, wallet, keys. Why?"

Dean shrugged. "I dunno. Maybe I forgot something."

He checked the mirror again, but she was gone.

_Carry on my wayward son_

A song began to play, coming from Castiel, and Dean glanced over as Castiel looked down at his phone. "My mom is calling..." He said, with a little pain in his voice.

Dean took the phone from Castiel's hand as he accepted the call and raised it to his ear. "Hello?" He said, waiting for the woman's cruel voice.

He heard her take a deep breath on the other line. "Tomorrow take Castiel to the Abaddon amusement park. Meet me by the entrance when he's not with you. I... Have something for you." She hung up.

He closed the flip phone, confused and slightly scared. It made him anxious. Should he bring a weapon? What was she planning? He didn't know this woman and she had been rude to him. Could he trust her?

"Hey Cas, we never got to go to Abaddon. You want to go tomorrow?" He asked, trying to convey his dissolution.

Castiel smiled, seeming to not notice. "Sure!"

Dean wished he hadn't been so eager to go.


	5. Chapter 5

**IMPORTANT,**** PLEASE READ: If you guys just read this chapter, this is chapter 5! Chapter 4 has been changed! ****I accidentally posted this one as chapter 4... Please go back and read the real 4 if you haven't already. If this chapter looks familiar, then that's why!**

**Anyways... Enjoy :P Stupid me, making mistakes...**

**[I don't own the lyrics you see in this chapter. They're owned by the band mentioned.]**

It was the next day, a relatively boring one in terms of school. The only thing that made the day a little brighter was seeing Michael's face in the hallway.

Now Castiel practically skipped to the Impala, excited for his planned day with Dean. People were gathered around the car, so he slowed down, trying to see what they were doing. He recognized Nick as one of them, he was glad Dean was on the other side of campus as the group moved away, laughing.

In bright red letters, different insults and graffiti were tossed around the car, and Castiel almost died on the spot. Dean would be pissed.

He raced as fast as he could towards the doors Dean would come out of. He spotted Dean opening the glass entrances and he almost crashed into him.

"Dean! Emergency! Go to the library and find me a book by Richard Stevens!" Castiel said quickly. Richard Stevens had written computer-science books, ones that weren't in the library.

_Please just go!_ Castiel thought, putting on a face of desperation.

Dean looked slightly confused, but he raced up to the library, determined to find the book for Castiel. In the meantime, Cas ran towards the after school gardening club, around the corner of the school entrance he was at. He almost tripped over a trash can that he bumped into, tumbling right into the school greenhouse.

He looked around, hoping that she would be here to help him. He squinted, spotting the wavy brown curls and baby-blue jacket. "Hannah!" He called out, and the girl turned.

"Castiel?" She looked confused. "Don't you go straight to your place after school?"

Cas was panting, hands on his knees as a way of support, not used to running so fast. "I need to... Borrow a hose..." He said in between deep breaths. "Emergency."

"Is there a fire?" She asked, looking around as if she would spot a pillar of smoke somewhere around school grounds.

"Hannah, you have to trust me." Cas told her, urging her to hurry as she nodded and bundled up a hose.

Hannah attached a few extra hoses, long enough to the point where it would probably lead past the Impala. "Also, do you have a cloth or something?" Castiel asked, hoping for a way to scrub the paint off.

She nodded, hurrying to retrieve a sponge. "We were using it to clean the pots earlier. It should be clean." She explained.

Running with the pile of hose in his arms, with a sponge in his back pocket, he ran back to the car. He took a look around, hoping Dean would continue to search.

The water streaked down the black surface of the car, and he sighed deeply. If he didn't get the car clean in time, he knew Dean would go after Nick and the other douches.

He leaned over top of the impala, attempting to get the smudges of red off the top of the car. He held onto the car with one hand, the hose trapped under the fingers of that hand. His other arm was working furiously to get the drying paint off of the hood and glass of the car.

Dean looked through the shelves and shelves of books, searching for a Richard Stevens. He had no idea what section it would be in or anything, but Cas had said that he needed it. He sat by one of the library computers, searching up 'Richard Stevens' on Google. He hummed Metallica while he waited for the dial-up connection to establish, and he found what he was looking for: A few titles by the author. He opened up the school website again, still rocking out to his off-key humming of the Master of Puppets album.

The school website came up, and a pop-up showed as well. A cartoon squirrel and moose, the school mascots, smiled at him, encouraging him to donate to the prom fundraisers. He clicked away from the advertisement, a small gray 'x' in the corner of the ad allowing him exit.

He loaded up the school library page, doing a quick search for the author 'Richard Stevens'. Nothing came up, and so he searched for one of the titles. 'Advanced programming in the Unix environment'. Again, the school website produced a frowny face and apology for no results, along with a few suggestions. He scrolled through those, still not finding any of the books by this Richard Stevens guy.

_Why would Cas want a book on programming?_ Dean asked himself, closing down internet explorer and crossing to the window, where he would have a clear view of the parking lot, where hopefully he'd see Castiel.

He leaned up against the glass, his forearm holding him up, and he squinted down at the bright and reflective asphalt.

What was Castiel doing? He was on top of the impala, his arm moving around a lot and some sort of green line, hose thing, trailing off the car and around to the green house building.

Dean pulled out his cell phone, thinking to call Cas and ask him what was up when his eyes caught something on the top of the car, near where Cas was working his arm. Curse this school and it's three story library, but he could have sworn he could see something red all over baby.

"Who the hell-" He began, storming out of the library. Why hadn't Castiel told him?! He was going to kick some ass, probably far before he asked Cas who did it.

Castiel desperately scrubbed at the trunk of the car, hoping to get all the paint off of the 1967 model. He spotted the carved initials 'S.D. and he smiled, knowing that had been Sam and Dean's doing. He thought back to his childhood, then strayed back. He didn't need anymore bad memories today.

He stood from the car, wrapping up the hose and lugging it back to the greenhouse. He tripped over one of the tightened hose lines he had, falling forward.

Something hard hit his chest, saving him from falling. "Th-Thanks!" He said, breathless, and stood up to see Dean frowning down at him. "Dean…" He said, wanting desperately to put the hoses behind his back, but he only ended up getting more entangled in the hose. He took a few steps back, almost falling over again. When he was steadied, he prepared himself for the barrage of questions

"Richard Stevens doesn't have any books you need, does he?" He asked first, and Castiel was surprised. Wouldn't he want to know why his baby was wet and why Cas was holding a red stained sponge in his hand?

Castiel laughed nervously. "Well, he does have books, and he exists… but, er… no."

Dean's glare intensified. He looked over to the impala, knowing that it had been painted in some way, by some little dick that thought they could get away with it. He shook his head to himself, knowing it was probably Nick or Michael. Castiel had sent him to the library so that he wouldn't get pissed, so that they could have a nice day, and he breathed in deeply, tucking his bottom lip into his mouth for a second, thinking.

"Get your ass in the car." He commanded, and Cas was about to protest, wanting to return the hose and sponge, until Dean took it all from him, handing Castiel the keys. "Try not to get any water in her." He said, nodding towards the '67.

Castiel was silent as he dragged his feet back towards the impala, knowing he had failed as he twisted the key in the lock. The familiar _click_ let him know the door was unlocked and he climbed in, unlocking Dean's door from the inside.

His eyes followed Dean until he disappeared behind the side of the school, the hose dragging behind him for a while until that too, fell behind the school.

He scuffed his foot against the asphalt, his other leg in the car. He was hoping Dean didn't plant to run off after Nick and Mike, and he was relieved to see the familiar plaid and leather turn around the stone corner, heading straight for the black car.

Cas moved his foot into the car, shutting the door. As soon as Dean had sat down, he handed the keys over to his outstretched hand.

He waited a while through a long Motor head tape before he spoke. "Dean, you're… Okay and everything, right?" he asked hesitantly, not wanting Dean to get set off. He hoped they'd still go ahead with their day, and he wished they could forget about the stupid graffiti bullshit.

Dean sighed deeply, rubbing his chin and mouth. "Cas, I'm not going after them if that's what you're asking. I promised you we'd go to Abaddon. Remember?"

Cas nodded slowly. "But you're sure you're not going to…?" He trailed off, and Dean nodded at the unspoken question.

"Not going after those ass holes. Plus, you'd probably say something like 'God punishes the bad' or some religious shit like that, right?" he smiled towards Cas, even though they both knew he was still a little ticked.

"Right…" Castiel said absently, resting his chin on his hand and staring out the window for the rest of the ride. If Dean was going to fake everything all day, he might as well have let him go after Nicholas.

"Hey, uh Cas." Dean began when they pulled past the park entrance.

"Dean, you missed the turn." Castiel alerted him, pointing back the way they had come.

"Damn…" Dean mumbled, pulling into the left lane and waiting for the upcoming U-Turn. "Anyways, I need to go somewhere once we get to the park. Can you hold my place in line?"

Castiel nodded slowly. "Am I allowed to know where you're going?" He asked, already assuming that was going to be a no.

Dean thought about what Castiel's mother had said, guessing it would be something she didn't wan her son to see. A pit of fear wedged its way into his stomach and he shoved it back down. Dean Winchester was afraid of nothing. "No." He responded. "But don't worry, I'll be safe." He promised, then turned up the radio, not wanting a chick-flick moment.

"I know you'll be safe. I just want to know that you're not doing anything stupid." He said over the music, glancing over at Dean, wondering if what he was going to do would be illegal.

"No, I'm not doing anything stupid either. It isn't illegal." _I hope, _he added in his thoughts.

Dean made the sharp turn into the amusement park, already disliking how many people were stocked into one park.

He checked the cost of parking on the many signs they had posted. $5 wasn't so bad compared to the other theme parks he'd heard of. To be honest, this was his first time at one, and probably Castiel's too. They pulled up to the paid parking pay booth. Dean rolled down his window, looking up at the worker with a glare while Castiel shrunk down in his seat, cowering.

Lucifer leaned against the car, his stained and cruel smile aimed at the smallest boy. "Hey Novak. How are ya?" He teased, laughing wickedly. "Dean, how have you been? Met any other gay boys yet?"

"Get off the car." He muttered angrily, revving the engine, and pushing away Joey with the hand he had free.

Lucifer laughed again, amused by the reactions he got when he pissed Dean off. "Hey, relax. You guys want to get in free?" He stood from leaning against the Impala. "Here." He held out two free passes into the park, but Dean barely spared a second looking at them. He glared up at Lucifer instead. "Have fun." Joey encouraged, waving the tickets in front of Dean's face. He frowned when Dean didn't take them, dropping them onto the dash of the car.

"What do you want, Lucifer?" Dean asked, looking down at the tickets hesitatingly. "You wouldn't do something like this for free."

Lucifer held a hand to his chest in mock surprise. "Dean, do you really think I'm that _heartless_?" He asked, a smile playing at his lips as Dean leaned forward a little, seeming to lose patience. "Listen-" He said, leaning down. "Michael didn't pay me for my latest services, and I want revenge. Also, I was thinking about taking out your brother-"

Dean slammed the car door open, jamming it into Lucifer, and Joey hugged his side. "Damn, it was a joke. Sam and me are getting closer though…" He joked, even though he was in obvious pain. "So you gonna help me?"

"Hell no." Dean said, driving off. For a little revenge, he held the tickets out the window while he waved goodbye, smirking.

Castiel smiled a little, relieved to be away from the boy who had ruined their lives enough. Dean had noticed it before, but now it seemed more prominent. Something, he wasn't sure what, but _something_ had passed between Lucifer and Castiel. Something unspoken, that they both knew and Dean didn't. He wasn't too focused on it though, and didn't let it hang on his mind.

Dean looked around the parking lot, following the pointing workers in bright orange vests that directed him to a parking space. He was shown to a section of the lot where most of the spaces were tight, and so he waited for a large van to move from a larger space. It began to pull out, and Castiel checked that they had everything they needed.

"Do you burn easily?" He asked Dean, who shook his head.

Either way he wouldn't need sun block since he was covered in layers. Besides the sun was behind clouds and it was cold outside. Nobody would need protection today.

"Watch the door." Dean warned Castiel, and they both knew he wasn't saying it for the sake of the Toyota Corolla beside them, but more so for the lining on his door.

He got out slowly, watching the rim of the door. It stopped a few inches before it came close to the silver-suede car.

Cas looked around the parking lot, making sure there were no cars coming as him and Dean crossed the lot and entered the ticket line. "Dean, I'll hold the place in line, and you go do your…thing." He said, trying to guess what Dean would be doing.

Dean nodded, suddenly dreading his meeting with ms. Novak. He couldn't be sure of what she was planning. He felt Castiel's blue eyes burning a hole into his back before he turned a corner and felt them trail off, losing him. He moved towards the left side entrance, near the restroom signs, and he spotted her. She was dressed up in a pencil skirt and button down, so he guessed that she had work soon. He swallowed down his fear, coming to stand before her confidently.

Her eyes skimmed over him, giving him a quick judgment, and he wasn't surprised to find the distaste she had of his fashion. He happened to like his jacket, and his taste in shoes was his problem.

Castiel's mother slid her hand into her purse still frowning down at him, and fear clenched in his stomach. A weapon? Why hadn't he brought his damn knife…

He was surprised to find that instead of a gun or shank, she drew a wad of cash. "Dean Winchester. Tomorrow is valentines day and you will make Castiel Novak your valentine, and ensure that his holiday is a most memorable and pleasurable one. This will serve as enough for spending money, I presume?" She also handed him two slips of paper. "And these are the reservation slips for the Patitio on Zachariah Drive. I have to go to work now. Goodbye." She was talking so quickly and left in such a rush that he didn't have time to say thank you. He struggled to implant the information into his memory.

"The Patitio?" He mumbled, guessing it was Castiel's favorite restaurant or something. But reservations? He didn't have a whole lot of fancy clothes, and if it was on Zachariah, it had to be some stuck up shitty black tie restaurant. He sighed, not liking the idea of the whole small-portioned, over-priced crack food. He slid the reservation slips into his wallet. He hated Zachariah Dr.

He counted out the cash next. Did she really expect him to spend $2,000 on a valentines day date? He had planned like $40 or something, not two freaking grand. How much was she paid, anyways? He stuffed the money into his leather wallet as well. Hopefully Castiel wouldn't need to look in it or anything. Otherwise it would ruin whatever screwed up plan that his mom had coming.

He felt a little bit of gratitude for her, but he still felt suspicious of her actions. Why would she have done that if she hated her son so much? She had done nothing but complain about Cas the first time he had met her, so why was she so accepting of him now? Why did she want him to be happy?

Riding roller coasters, eating lunch and messing around in the arcade. That was most of their day. Castiel had ridden his first roller coaster and they splurged money into cheap carnival style foods. Dean had even won himself a rainbow slinky in the arcade with the tickets they had earned.

At the end of the day, fireworks lit up the sky over the large lake at the center of the park, in honor of their recent opening. The light bounced off of the water and reflected off any shiny object in the area, making the light show a little more spectacular.

Castiel's head rested against Dean's shoulder in the Impala, watching the explosions from afar. He felt the heater blasting over him, making his face feel warm, and he felt his hair moving a little under the constant airflow. Eventually he got annoyed, so he pushed the vent flow away from his direction.

Dean moved his shoulder up, forcing Castiel to lift his head, and Dean caught his eyes. "Hey... So tomorrow is valentine's day, you know? I had a few things planned. What about you?"

Cas took time to think about it. "I guess I haven't really thought of anything besides your gift. I still haven't gotten you anything." He blushed, averting his eyes to check the time. It was only 6;30, so he had enough time to go shopping later in a last minute effort.

Dean laughed a little. "Same." He agreed, then took time to think of a solution while green and blue lights exploded across the sky. "I have an idea. Sam should be home tonight, so he'll take you shopping when we get home. I'll go somewhere else to buy for you and we'll be done in like half an hour." He suggested.

Castiel smiled brightly. "Okay. I want to get to know Sam better anyways. He still doesn't know about… us… does he?" Castiel asked his question carefully, knowing it was a sensitive topic for Dean.

Dean hesitated, thinking. He knew Sam wouldn't really care, and that he would probably welcome it. It was his father that he was worried about, since he had no idea how John Winchester would react. Maybe he wouldn't mind? "No. Neither does my dad." He finally responded, adding a small carefulness to his words. Cas could sense the dread of coming out to his father, and so he didn't want to bring that up again.

"It's fine." Castiel amended. "I didn't even tell Hannah yet… My mom, I don't even know how she found out... she's always been really, intuitive? I guess?"

Dean nodded, and at the topic of Castiel's mother, he again wondered why she had been so kind today. Well, as kind as she could ever hope to be.

The porch light reflected off the windshield when Sam came out of the house, and he held up a hand to block the light from the headlights. "Dean? What's the problem?"

The driver side door opened, and Dean stood out, one foot still in the car. "Sam, get in. We're going shopping. You need something for Jess tomorrow, right?" He asked, and Sam nodded, climbing into the passenger side of the car.

"Anything else wrong? Did you seriously text me to 'get your ass out here now' just because you wanted to go _shopping_?"

Dean nodded. "Should have answered your texts." Sam rolled his eyes as he fiddled with the seatbelt.

"Dean, I was on the phone with Jess." He said, and he finally seemed to notice the boy in the back seat when he caught a movement in the rearview mirror reflection. "Castiel?" He asked, turning in his seat.

Cas nodded to him. "Hello, Sam."

Dean looked between the two and he felt a small flutter of nervousness as he opened his mouth to speak. "We're, uh…" He trailed off, not sure how to start a conversation like this.

"Dating." Sam supplied. "I figured it out back at the party. I was there, remember?"

Dean laughed nervously, shifting gears and pulling out of the drive way and onto the street beyond their neighborhood. "Well, yeah." He finally said in return, shifting gears again, this time into drive.

Sam nodded coolly, as if completely understanding. "Does dad know?" There was a thick silence in the air, and they breathed it in each second Dean missed from answering. Castiel knew Dean was still worried about his father's reaction. He looked up to his father greatly, he knew, and he also could tell Dean wasn't too eager to tell John.

"No." Dean responded, and even Castiel could tell that Sam had made a silent promise to keep quiet.

Dean turned on the radio to fill the quiet car. Sam sighed a complaint, but was unable to do anything. Driver picks the music and shotgun shuts his cake hole, just like Dean always said.

It was a long time of uncomfortable quiet before they pulled into the parking lot, Sam and Cas not feeling the connection Dean expected them to have yet. Sam hadn't been in contact with Dean as much, especially since he had moved into an apartment with Jessica. He had been planning to simply leave the family and go off the Stanford or Princeton or something.

_I'm a lonely little shit_. Dean realized. He had no idea where his father was most of the time and Sam had completely forgotten about him mostly. He had himself, and the impala. Cas, when he wasn't busy. Other than that, his friends were gone and his father moved too much to keep most of them.

As soon as they pulled into the mall parking lot, Dean had parked and left the two of them alone in seconds. He was going to need to rush this, especially since it was almost 7:00, and he had a show airing at 9.

"So..." Sam began, wanting to start a conversation as they entered the mall shop. "Do you like books?"

Castiel nodded, and he felt he could actually get along with Sam Winchester. "Yeah. What kind do you like?"

Sam seemed to lose color in his cheeks, almost as if he were embarrassed. "Mostly sci-fi ones. I know it sounds nerdy-"

"No! I like those ones the best too." Castiel interrupted as he began to defend himself for it. "I also enjoy books on the supernatural."

Sam smiled. "Cool! So have you read-" Sam was cut off as he spotted someone across the store. Castiel followed his gaze to a boy with brown hair, who currently had what looked like a cigarette, or maybe a lollipop stick protruding from his mouth. "Let's go." Sam urged, trying to rush them out of the store before the boy turned.

Castiel felt like he knew not to ask, and so he didn't, allowing Sam to contemplate whatever it was in his mind.

He instead followed Sam's quick and long stride to the central mall.

After a while of looking through the shops and windows and such, Castiel sighed in defeat. "I don't know what to get for Dean. I've never really needed to shop for him before, and there's not many things I know he enjoys."

"Valentines day?" He guessed, and Cas nodded. "He likes a lot of things. Mostly old and pointless vintage 60's related stuff." He rubbed his chin in thought. "I bet you could find some cheap tapes in F.Y.E. You've at least seen those in his car, right? It's the only music he has. Classic rock on old tapes."

Castiel nodded, though he didn't have that extensive of knowledge on what tapes, albums and music Dean already had or had no interest in having. "What kind of things have you gotten him?"

Sam picked his brain. "The only present I ever really have him was that necklace he always wears. Other than that, he's impossible to buy for. I don' think he'd want another piece of jewelry."

Castiel nodded, trusting what Sam said. He had always wondered where Dean had gotten that strange cord necklace. "What are some of his favorite things, then?"

"Pie." Sam responded automatically. "He has this unhealthy obsession with pie."

Castiel nodded. "I can put together a pie. I think I have most of the ingredients at home anyways…"

Sam nodded. "He likes cherry, apple, pecan… You name a pie and he's had it, he's loved it, he's wanting it right now.."

Castiel was attempting to remember if he had anything to be used as pie filling at home. "I think I have cherries at home, the ones in a can with the syrup?"

Sam laughed. "You're all set then. Came all this way just to follow me around the mall I guess."

"It's fine." Castiel responded, grateful and excited. He had a present for Dean, one he hoped would be a great one.

Sam had entered a few girl stored with a bright blush creeping up his neck, and he eventually selected a nice jacket, one he thought would look good with a few things Jess already had in her wardrobe. He paid for it and met Cas out side the shop, and then both proceeded to wander the mall in search of Dean or anything interesting.

Dean wandered around the stores aimlessly, clueless as to what Cas would want. He wasn't sure what books Cas was into, and he was pretty sure he already had most of the ones in the small book section of the mall's shopping center.

He had wandered into a clothing store, trying to find something he could see Castiel wearing when something caught his eye. It was tan, and sort of long. Was it a dress in a male's clothing store? Curious, he pulled it off the rack.

A trench coat was positioned on the black hanger, and he tried to imagine Cas wearing it. It was pretty adorable. The sleeves would be a little too long, and the belt most likely wouldn't tie all the way, but it would just add to the cute factor.

What the hell was he? Some girl shopping for his 4-year-old son?

He would get it anyways, a private feeling of guilty pleasure inside him. So what if he wanted to see Castiel in a too big coat? It would be fucking hilarious watching him stumble around in it. He tried to convince himself that's what he was doing when he purchased the coat.

He checked out with the coat, tying off the bag it came in.

Dean followed the mall map up the escalator and into the bookstore. He couldn't find any books that screamed out 'Castiel', and that was when he spotted a large table, a series laid out on it. It said it was new, so surely Cas didn't have it yet?

He picked one up. 'Supernatural' it looked interesting enough, but he wasn't sure how Cas would react. He bought one of the series packs, grabbing a few more newer books he didn't think Cas had yet. He walked out if the shop with two new bags, and felt a stab of excitement. He couldn't wait for tomorrow. Castiel would enjoy the next day's events, Dean could tell. What could go wrong?

Even the tiniest **mosquito bite** wouldn't ruin a day as great as tomorrow would be.

Not even a **mosquito bite**.

Cas yawned, lifting himself up off his bed. He vaguely remembered last night, but he knew school had been closed for the day, announced last night on the news. Apparently most of the administrators would be at the principal's last-minute wedding, and they couldn't find enough people to work that day.

He felt a little glad, knowing that would be more time with Dean.

Castiel yawned again, and then looked to his calendar. A large heart was drawn around the square. He sat up suddenly, memories pouring into him. He had passed out at Dean's house. Dean must have carried him back here.

He looked over in surprise to his alarm clock. It was nine am, and Dean would be there at ten to pick him up. To Dean., less time was a curse, and so Castiel could only guess he'd really be here around 9:30.

He rushed downstairs, almost tripping over the side table like he almost always did. His mother stood at the counter, writing something down, and looked up as he entered the kitchen.

"Castiel." She said, annoyed. "Don't run in the house. What could you possibly be rushing for?"

"I'm sorry, mother." He responded. "Today is Valentine's day." He began pulling out the ingredients for a cherry pie, and tossing then on the counter. He ripped open a bag of flower, dumping most if it into a mixing bowl without measuring it. He added water, eggs, and a little bit if sugar, desperately mixing it while his mother watched him with curious eyes.

She only realized he was making a pie when he filled a pie pan with the dough. He attempted to spread it evenly, and she strolled over to stand by him.

She didn't help him, only stood there, pointing out his flaws like always. "You'll need a spoon to spread it evenly. This is what you get for procrastinating and sleeping in."

He quickly grabbed a spoon, smothering it over the pan. The spoon flung out of his hand when he was going to place it in the sink, he didn't even know how, and it hit his cheek. He didn't bother wiping it away, just threw the spoon back into the sink and retrieved the can of cherries and syrup.

He mixed faster, taking a spot of cherry and swiping it into his mouth. _Good enough_, he decided, and Castiel's mother didn't bother with a farewell as she left.

Castiel didn't mind, and he occupied himself with more pie rushing as 9:20 approached.

He spread the cherry into the pie pan over the crust dough, putting more dough on top and placing it in the oven. Castiel set the oven, bake 435, the quickest and safest way to prepare the pastry.

He sighed as he shut the oven door, leaning against the counter.

He had done it, the pie was baking. He glanced at the stove top clock. 9:33. Dean would be here soon, he always seemed to be early.

He was looking out the window, watching for Dean when the front door opened. His muscles tightened as he heard footsteps approach the kitchen.

He heard a few sniffs. "Is that pie?" Someone asked, slightly excited.

Castiel was still looking out the window, hoping Dean would check for him in the kitchen last, but someone turned him around, and he was looking at Dean, face bright red. He still had a mess on his face, and the kitchen was a disaster. Usually he had time to bake, and he wouldn't have done this bad a job. He could have had time to wipe up most of the things if Dean had gone to search up stairs, and he still-

Dean only laughed, kissing Castiel. The cherry still left on his mouth mixed into the kiss, and it was sweet. Dean smiled as he pulled away, resting his head against Castiel's. "Pie smells good, and I bet it'll taste good too." Dean wiped away the piece of dough on Castiel's cheek bone, smirking as he did so.

Castiel smiled, but then his shoulders dropped as he looked around at the mess in the kitchen. He collected paper towels off the roll, attempting to clean, and he noticed Dean helping him.

"Thanks." He said happily.

Dean glanced over at the oven with a little worry twisting his voice. "Cas, did you seriously rush to make that? You didn't have to destroy everything to make a pie I could have had tomorrow…"

Castiel nodded. "You were going to be here any second, and I wasn't going to delay our plans for the day."

Dean laughed. "You could have taken your time. I wouldn't have minded."

Castiel shook his head. "I would have minded." He led Dean out to the living room after clean up. He lifted a bag from the coffee table there, handing it to Dean.

He reached his hand into the bag Cas handed him. He pulled out a few empty tapes, waiting to be used to record his favorite songs and albums. "Thanks, Cas." He said, but he looked a little incredulous. "Where'd you get all these? I can barely find any, even online."

He shrugged. "We had a few empty ones around the house, and I've seen how many tapes you already had, so I gave them to you."

Dean grinned. "Thanks." He repeated. He lifted up his own bag.

Castiel untied the first one, and he could already tell it was clothing, judging by the weight and feel.

Cas opened in gingerly, taking out the trench coat with care. Dean loved to watch his face light up as he looked over it."Thanks, Dean." Castiel said, sincere gratitude in his voice. He slid it over his shoulders almost instantly, smiling widely. The sleeves were a little too long, but he looked adorable. Dean felt his cheeks grow hot and he instantly pulled back the blush. No cute emotions. But Castiel was just so adorable...

He distracted himself by handing the bags of books to Cas and clearing his throat. "I had no idea which ones to get you." He laughed, and Castiel smiled at each one in turn.

He looked down at the supernatural books in surprise. "Supernatural? It looks pretty cool." He looked excited to read it. He commented on the others as well. He placed down the books and leapt into Dean's arms. "Thank you!"

Dean laughed a little, surprised that he had liked it. "No problem, Novak." A sort of alarm tone sounded through the house, coming from the kitchen area, and Cas looked up expectantly. "Pie is ready!"

He felt slightly excited. This would be his first time tasting Castiel's cooking, and it was pie nonetheless.

He followed the boy in the trench coat into the kitchen, where he waited patiently off to the side while he opened up the oven.

The crust looked browned enough, and Castiel breathed in deep through his nose. "It smells good, at least." He mumbled. He pulled up the sleeves of his new coat, sliding on oven mitts and reaching his hands into the oven. He lifted it delicately, placing on the stove top with care. He turned off the oven and removed the oven mitts.

A knife was already sitting beside the pie, and Dean attempted to remember where the plates were in Castiel's house. He did a little searching, bumping his head on one of the cabinet doors in the process, and then finding a few paper plates.

"It's still hot." Castiel protested, but picked up the knife to serve it anyways. He pulled out a drawer to the right of the stove, randomly picking two plastic forks. He dropped one and got a new one as Dean washed the other one and replaced it in the drawer.

He began to cut as evenly as he could, down the middle and through the middle of those slices, successfully slicing it into eighths. He became lost in thought as he divided the pie, mindlessly cutting now.

"Are they thin enough yet?" Dean teased, and Castiel looked down in embarrassment to see that he had cut it as small as he could go. He hastily placed a chunk of it onto each plate. It wasn't perfect, but hopefully it would at least taste better than the glob looked.

It did. There was a small "mmm" from both of them. The cherried were sweet and the pie crust was toasted to perfection. They barely spoke as they ate, completely enamored with the pie and the time they were able to spend together.

Castiel placed down his plate as he finished, and soon Dean was retrieving another cherry glob. "Dean, thanks a lot for today." Castiel said in a quiet voice, and it surprised Dean. The day hadn't even started, so why thank him now? Not that he wasn't flattered by the gratitude…

"Why?" He decided to ask, not sure what he had done to deserve the thanks, not sure if he deserved one yet.

"It's just... This is one of my first holidays that I've actually been able to celebrate. And it's already amazing… I guess that sounds kind of stupid, but I've never even had a birthday. Like, a real one. Christmas, no. Halloween, no. Anything, no. This is my first legitimate holiday, and I'm grateful that I get to spend it with you."

Dean smiled playfully. "You probably studied through the holidays, nerd." He kissed Castiel's cheek, popping another piece of pie into his mouth, after the fact. "I'm glad I get to spend it with you, too. Thanks." Dean said in return, and was satisfied to see that Castiel's cheeks and neck lit up with color.

"You probably spent your holidays with a bunch of dumb stupid jocks like yourself." Castiel laughed. His phone began to vibrate on the counter next to him, but he decided to wait for a few moments before picking it up. He still had something else to say to Dean. "I think it's weird… I mean, we're taking this whole thing too fast, but I just don't care, you know?" Dean nodded, glancing down at Castiel's phone, but Cas continued, hoping to finish before the call rang out. "I don't care because I can't think of anyone else I'd rather love more than you." He finished, and Dean handed him his cell phone, their lips meeting as he did, and he smiled through the kiss, conveying his agreement as Castiel muttered a questioning "Hello?" into the receiver.

Hannah hesitated before she picked up her phone. She had been Castiel's friend for a while now, and she knew he might be busy, but she just had to ask. She should have asked yesterday when he had asked her for the hose, but she hadn't. Instead, she had delayed until the day of.

She picked up the phone in a sudden burst of confidence, though she still felt her stomach about to give out as she dialed Castiel's speed-dial number. It rang for a while, and she was afraid he wouldn't pick up. Then there was an end to the constant ringing, and a muffled feedback as someone said "Hello?"

"Hello Castiel." She said, nervously, moving the brown curls out of her face and tucking them behind her ear.

"Hey Hannah!" Castiel said contentedly, and he seemed to swap the phone to his other ear. "What's up?"

This was it. This was her chance.

"Do you think... Well uh how is your valentines day going so far?"

_Chance ruined, Hannah!_ She scolded herself. She glanced around the familiar soft shades of brown in her room. Where was she going with this conversation besides far away from where she wanted to?

Castiel wanted to say 'great', or to say 'chilling with Dean', although he remembered as his lips parted that he hadn't told her about Dean yet. He'd had the time, but he just hadn't known how to bring it up. "I'm just hanging around the house like always. How about you? Do you have a special someone yet?"

Hannah beamed with happiness. Did that mean that he was asking her…? "No… Do you want to-" She was cut off as Castiel seemed to move suddenly.

"Don't touch that!" He scolded. "No, I'm trying to talk to someone!"

She laughed nervously. Apparently he was with someone, and as far as she knew, he didn't have any younger siblings. He wouldn't be talking to his mother like that, and he didn't have any guy friends he ever hung out with.

"I guess that you're busy." She said, and there was hurt hidden behind her voice.

He seemed to be occupied again. "Stop, I said! I'm sorry, Hannah… What were you saying?"

"I-" She wanted to ask him about the person in the background, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. She felt her throat closing up, and she knew if she spoke again, her words would come out in a sob. Castiel was her only friend, and she should be happy for him! So then why… Why was she feeling as if he'd betrayed her? Maybe it _was_ just one of his friends, over to hang out since neither had anything to do today…

She was going to cry if she spoke again, and so she hung up.

She tossed her phone onto her bed, but it bounced off and onto the floor. She didn't bother to retrieve it. Instead, she fell onto her bed in defeat. Why was she so stupid? Cas was smart, handsome, caring… of course he'd have someone to go out with today.

She raised her head to find her headphones and CD player, hitting the triangle that signified the play button.

The Script, one of her favorite bands was currently spinning away in the CD port slot, and she listened on and on to the same song in a loop.

_What am I supposed to do, when the best part of me was always you?_

_What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're okay?_

The line went dead, and Castiel shrugged. "A poor connection perhaps?"

Dean shrugged. He had only heard small clips of their conversation. "Can I touch this now?" He questioned, gesturing to the knife that sat in the pie pan.

Castiel rolled his eyes. "Could you be any more excited over a pastry?"

"Maybe. If I was eating it already." He said, and Castiel smiled at the ever-present sass. He loaded another blob onto the plate, serving himself another, yet smaller, portion.

"I wonder what had Hannah so upset? She sounded like she was embarrassed or something… Maybe she forgot the homework, or that there was no school?"

Dean was barely paying attention. His mouth was stuffed, almost ready to burst as he placed the entire slice into his mouth, scooping another onto his plate. Castiel smirked, pushing the entire pie pan to Dean. "Have the rest. By the way, that's disgusting." Castiel said, staring with pointed disgust at the overstuffed mouth of fruity pastry. Dean laughed as he swallowed.

"So... What should we do today?" Castiel asked, and Dean shrugged. "I have plans for tonight, but I wasn't prepared for today. I thought we'd be at school."

"Same." He agreed. "We could just look around town."

Dean nodded. "Sounds like a not-plan." He finished off his slice, wrapping the rest of the pie in tin foil and carrying it to the impala with Cas. "I hope you know I'm taking this home." He told him.

Cas grinned. "I knew it when I started baking it." He paused before getting into the impala. "What _are_ your plans for tonight?"

Dean was in the driver side by then, and leaned over to kiss Castiel sweetly. "You'll se later." He promised. He looked back up at the house after he had pulled away, happening to glance up at the second story window…

He quickly put the car into reverse, shooting down the empty road. That would be a conversation for a later date.

He was leaving today anyways, right? He'd be away for three weeks he had said… Why had he looked down at that exact moment though?

**John Winchester had just seen his son kiss a boy.**


	6. Chapter 6

The 1967 Impala bounced over the painted yellow concrete in the road, a small noise barely sensible to the riders. The driver directed the hardtop Chevy to a free space in front of a small bookstore.  
>The windows of the shop were streaked with condensation, and the passenger and driver took a minute to absorb the remaining heat of the car.<br>"You wanna go in there?" Dean asked, attempting to hide his dislike, but to Castiel, Dean's aversion was obvious. He shook his head, not inclined to go either way.  
>"You already bought me so many books. I don't think I'll need more for at least a few months." They both shared a laugh, climbing out of the '67 Impala.<br>They were both at ease, turning their heads to the shop signs up ahead, not many catching their interest. A hand curled around Castiel's and he looked down in surprise.  
>Dean's hand was wrapped around his own.<br>His eyes traveled up to Dean's face, which was a bright pink. "D-Dean?" He asked in surprise, and Dean glanced over to him, his green eyes defensive.  
>"What? I thought it... Never mind..." He mumbled, splitting their hands.<br>Castiel's head tilted to the side, and his mouth stretched into a smile, sliding his hand back into Dean's. He felt a warmth in his chest as he grinned brightly out across the shopping plaza. He was with Dean Winchester and proud of it.  
>Usually Dean didn't care for public affection, but today it seemed he was more sentimental than usual.<br>"Food." Dean sighed, ruining the moment as he took a deep breathe through his nose, inhaling whatever he was smelling.  
>"Didn't we just eat pie?" Castiel muttered, but he followed Dean anyways.<br>A small cafe style restaurant was positioned beside an office supply store, and Castiel could tell that was were they were headed.  
>Dean nodded towards the food shop. "That's where I smell it." He said, and Castiel took a deep inhale through his nose.<br>"I don't smell anything..." Castiel commented as he exhaled. He followed Dean anyways, and as a cold breeze passed by them, he took a step closer to Dean for warmth.  
>The boy next to him couldn't help but smile a little. "Cas, what did you want to do today besides wander around a cold place like this?" He asked, not wanting to keep his baby in a trench coat out in the cold any longer than he had to.<br>He felt Cas' shoulder lift beside him in a shrug of indifference. "I didn't really plan for much today. I have something, but it's at midnight anyways..."  
>Dean's head bobbed in a nod. "I have a few things planned. One of them starts at 3, but that was after we were supposed to get out of school. Damn principal and his wedding." He grumbled, and Castiel expressed his agreement.<br>"Doesn't Sam bus tables at that cafe?" Castiel asked, nodding towards the glass door they approached.  
>Dean nodded. "Yeah. He wants to get into law school someday, so he keeps up with all these different jobs and his school work to get tuition. He'll give us a discount." Dean told him, and Castiel learned something new about Sam.<br>"So if he wants to go into Law school, does that mean he wants to be a lawyer?" There were multiple possibilities with a law school degree.  
>Dean shrugged. "Maybe. I never really asked him. I don't talk to him much anymore. Him and Jess don't really like our family."<br>Castiel felt a flood of sympathy. "Why? I understand your dad, but Sam needs you too, right?"  
>"It's... Complicated. We have a bad past." Dean seemed to radiate the fact that he didn't want to discuss it, and Castiel accepted the silence. He couldn't imagine what had come between the brother's, who had once been so close.<br>The heat rushed against them as they entered the cafe, a large temperature difference between the outside and here. It felt nice to separate their cold fingers.  
>"I'm glad that you bought me the coat." Castiel commented, toying with the cuffs of the trench coat.<br>Dean smiled. Guilty pleasure, he thought, knowing he had bought it originally knowing Castiel would look cute in it.  
>He hid the color that swarmed his face, sitting with Cas in one of the back booths.<br>Sam smacked his hands down on the table. "Dean! What are you doing here?" He asked angrily, yet quietly at the same time.  
>"Woah Sammy just came for lunch." He said, looking around the shop. "Why what's up?"<br>Sam's eye twitched a bit, and Dean could read his brother's face in a seconds notice with that nervous habit.  
>"What are you hiding, Sammy?" He asked again, knowing this time.<br>Sam shook his head. "I wasn't hiding anything until you showed up." He accused, and left the table. "I'll get you guys two usuals."  
>"But I've never been here before..." Castiel called out a little too late.<br>"Eh it's fine. Sammy knows what he's doing." Dean reassured him, looking around the cafe and avoiding Sam's eyes.  
>His sight zeroed in on the person Sam was talking to.<br>Sam was speaking animatedly, waving his hands as he spoke with emotion. Dean's eyes fell to the person his brother was speaking to, and he called out his brother's name.  
>Sam looked over to Dean with surprise and regret etched on his face. He excused himself from the person at the table.<br>"Man, I thought you were still dating Jess?" Dean asked, and Sam sighed, rubbing his face.  
>"Dean, I am. What are you talking about?"<br>Dean nodded towards the boy Sam had been talking to. Sam was aghast. "Gabriel? No... It's just... He likes me, but I don't want to ruin our friendship, you know? He still doesn't know about Jessica."  
>Dean tried to contain his laughter. "Sammy, are you gay?"<br>Sam took a step back, his face the epitome of shock. "Dude, I'm still dating Jess. He's interested in me. I don't..." He trailed off, looking back to the other boy in the restaurant, hoping he wasn't being loud enough for him to hear.  
>"Listen, Dean." He said, leaning in towards them. "I've been friends with him for a while now. I can't let him know I don't return his feelings. I really don't want to ruin our friendship."<br>Castiel was silent until that point. Something in Sam's words set him off. "You can't keep up the game forever, Sam. He's in love. You need to tell him if you love him or not. Avoiding the problem won't make it go away."  
>Sam and Dean were both surprised, and Castiel nodded firmly.<br>Sam finally sighed, and he seemed to age a little with that simple exhale. "I know." He admitted, his eyes stealing a fleeting glance towards Gabriel.  
>"Hey!" Sam called, standing and moving towards Gabe's table without a goodbye or glance back. His shoulders were set firm as he sat on the opposite side of the boy.<br>His voice was lowered and so they could only hear small humming, but they could visibly see Sam hesitating.  
>He seemed to release something, but Gabriel didn't seem to have the expected reaction. He seemed happy and uplifted, instead of defeated. He was smiling, and they watched him pump his fist into the air.<br>Castiel shook his head in disbelief. "He lied." He said, and he was visibly upset.  
>Dean's hand covered his. "What's this all about?" He asked, searching the electrifying blue eyes. "You're serious about this, aren't you?"<br>Castiel shook his head, waving off his question. "It's nothing." He said, but he was obviously lying.  
>"Novak, you're never like this." Dean said, and they both knew it was true.<br>Cas felt the truth bubble to his to tongue, and he tried to bite it back. "Dean, I think I'm in the same situation as him." Castiel muttered, staring glumly out the window while hoping for something to change the conversation.  
>Unfortunately, Dean pressed on despite Castiel's obvious disliking. "Who is it then?" Dean asked.<br>Cas tugged at his lip with his teeth, buying himself time, even if a few seconds. "It's... Hannah..." He said sadly, in the quietest voice he could manage. Even then, Dean had heard him, and he felt bad for him.  
>"Cas... I'm sorry, man... I know you guys are friends, and I know you used to like her... If I hadn't butt into your life like this, you'd probably be in your dream college by now. You could have graduated early."<br>Castiel shook his head. "I wouldn't have anyways. I want this last year to be the best. This will be our senior year, and there's a lot I want to do before I get out of high school. Like prom." He suggested, and Dean nodded, still upset with his actions.  
>"Cas, I really am sorry." He apologized.<br>Cas was surprised by his apologies, and he intended to show it. "What do you have to apologize for?" He asked.  
>Dean's lips parted to form a broad and confident smile. "I kissed you first." He winked.<p>

Castiel turned away, embarrassed as Gabriel turned to look over to them, seemingly interested by their conversation. "He's eavesdropping." Cas reported quietly, and Dean turned in his seat to meet the peering eyes.  
>"Hi." He greeted, and they both watched Sam's shoulders stiffen as Dean spoke to Gabriel.<br>"We'll who's this lovely couple?" Gabriel said jokingly to Sam, who nervously stood and went to 'check on the orders.  
>"I'm Dean. This is Cas." He jerked a thumb at the waving blue eyed boy.<br>"Gabriel." He responded. "You guys are hitting it off over there. Might want to think about a room." He said, smiling at his own joke.  
>Dean smirked a little and opened his mouth for a come back when Castiel spoke up behind him.<br>"It's not against the law to express our love in public places, so I advise that you end the utilization of your vocal chords before we bring the T rating to an M."  
>Dean looked back to Cas in disbelief. "That was actually pretty good, angel." He smirked a bit, and Cas blushed. Dean knew that smile always got to him...<br>"I learned everything from watching you." Castiel finally responded. "And who said Angels are good? I could be a demon in disguise."  
>Dean faked considering. "Nope. No way you could be a demon. Me, probably, but you're too good for that."<br>Castiel shook his head. "Even the devil was an angel once." He commented. "I could burn for all the crap I might do for you, Dean."  
>Dean cringed at the word 'burn'. <p>

_"Dean, take Sam and run! Now Dean! Go!"  
>Dean ran as fast as he could at his father's words, stomping down the stairs, the 10lb bundle of his little brother tightly wrapped in his arms.<br>"Dad?" He whispered, wondering what was happening. He had heard his mother's scream and arrived at Sam's nursery to see the blazing fire, and yet there had been no sign of his mom.  
>He was coughing by the time he made it outside, the fire having spread fast and creating a lot of smoke.<br>"It's gonna be okay, Sammy." He mumbled to the crying baby, tears pourinf out of both of their eyes. "Dad's going to take care of it. He can handle anything!" He said confidently.  
>Dean watched the window to Sam's nursery explode from the heat and pressure, the glass pouring out onto the lawn. The flames had spread across the house quickly, and he could faintly hear his father yelling out.<br>"Mary!" He was shouting repeatedly, and Dean became worried. Mary was his mother's name.  
>What happened? He asked himself, worry flooding his mind.<em>

Dean shivered, even though it was warm in the cafe. He felt strange, and he wasn't sure if it was grief, regret, guilt, or any of the other crazy ass feelings he'd been getting lately.  
>Castiel looked up a short time after Dean had shuddered, examining him. "Are you cold?" Castiel asked, his eyes squinting.<br>Dean shook his head. He was silent though, lost in thought.  
>"Why do you think the devil fell from heaven?" Dean asked suddenly, a thought striking him.<br>"Well the bible says-" Castiel began, but he was cut off by Dean.  
>"Yeah, yeah some crap about being drawn to sin. But what was his first sin?"<br>Cas struggled to remember, not sure if they had taught him this in his church. "Lying maybe?" He supposed, shrugging.  
>Dean visibly relaxed. "You're not going to hell anytime soon. You're terrible at lying."<br>Castiel sat up defiantly, straightening his posture. "I'm a great liar." He protested. "Guess which one is a lie." He told Dean, and began to think. "I... I use the Internet regularly, and..." He struggled to think up a new one. "I hate fast food..." He tried to come up with another. "...and I... Like to..." He paused.  
>"Be on top?" Dean supplied, and Castiel's face became a bright red.<br>"N-no!" He stammered. "I... I-I mean... I like to drink coffee."  
>Dean shook his head. "You hate coffee." He said.<br>"No, I love it." Castiel said, but the simple twitch in his jaw bone alerted Dean that he was lying.  
>"Cas. You're not that hard to read."<br>Sam had left the kitchen, placing plates down in between the two boys that were having a stare off.  
>"Sam!" Gabriel called, and Sam looked around for his manager to ensure he wasn't watching when he ducked into the seat beside Gabriel's.<br>Castiel sighed under Dean's hard stare, giving in. "Okay, you're right. I hate caffeine, unless it's in soda."  
>Dean nodded, feeling smug as he leaned back, stretching his arms behind his head. One hand reached for a fry, and Castiel looked down to acknowledge the food.<br>A cheeseburger and a side of fries. Extra onions on the burger.  
>Castiel nodded his approval. "Looks good." He said, although he mostly only snacked on the salted potatoes, later allowing Dean to steal his burger once he had finished his own.<br>"So..." Dean began as he took cash from his wallet, dropping it on the table, an extra $5 on the tip for his brother. "Where do you want to head next?"  
>Castiel flipped open his phone, checking the date and time. Friday, February 14-th, and 2:48 p.m.<br>"You had that thing at 3, right? We should probably head to that." He suggested, and Dean checked his own phone.  
>"Crap..." He mumbled. "See ya, Sammy!" Dean called as he pulled Castiel along with him, trying to retrace his steps back to the book store were the Impala was parked.<br>Cas drew him to the front of a store. Passing through it would give them about 5 extra minutes.  
>"Cas, this is a-" he stopped himself. "Victoria secret?" He asked in distaste, and Castiel nodded.<br>"It's the only store with a useable back entrance." He confirmed, and Dean shuddered.  
>"Let's just get this over with." He mumbled.<br>Castiel shrugged. "I don't see what's wrong with it." He commented as they jogged through the store. "They can tell that we're only cutting through the store. People probably do it all the time."  
>Dean was silent until they exited. "I could feel the judgment. That's not okay." Dean said, and he jabbed a finger at Cas. "You're lucky you're so cute." He threatened. "Otherwise I wouldn't have trusted you. Besides, you can't lie to save your ass. You need me for that."<br>Castiel allowed him to ramble as they raced towards the black car.  
>"Why do we have to be so fast?" Castiel asked. "Isn't it fine for us to be late?"<br>Dean shook his head, thinking. "It's something I don't want us to miss." Dean promised. "Nothing fancy, but it's something." He finished off with that, leaving Castiel in suspense.  
>The engine roared to life with the twist of metallic keys, and Castiel buckled up, also having to reach over and buckle Dean in since he was obviously too distracted to do it himself.<br>Dean drove far above the speed limit, which meant he was driving like normal, but this time you could feel his urgency to be there on time.  
>"Dean, 2:54." Castiel reminded him, and Dean nodded his head, leaning forward a little, urging his baby to go faster. He silently apologized to her for pushing her this fast, promising a nice wax later on.<br>Castiel sighed, his shoulders dropping as he tried to guess where they were headed. It most likely wasn't a movie since the theatre was in the opposite direction. What else would Dean be rushing for? Reservations for something? A show perhaps?  
>He had no idea what kind of show Dean would have wanted to watch. He shook his head.<br>It has to be something else, he decided, glancing over to Dean's determined face.  
>Dean seemed to visibly excite, his eyes lighting up and his face brightening with a cheery grin.<br>"Cas, reach into the glove box and tie the cloth around your eyes."  
>Castiel raised an eye brow. "Why would I-"<br>Dean took his eyes off the road to stare into Castiel's eyes. "If you trust me, do it." He dared, and Castiel nodded firmly.  
>He trusted Dean, but not the world around them. He opened the glove department box, finding the blue cloth and tying it off around his head. As much as he wanted to cheat and peek out, he knew that he shouldn't.<br>Dean probably would have him under constant surveillance anyways...  
>He saw nothing, but he felt the Impala slowing, parking somewhere. He heard Dean shift the gear to park and the familiar sound of the engine falling silent.<br>Dean unbuckled his seat belt, and his door opened first. After a few beats of his pounding heart, Castiel was unbuckled and led out of the Impala and across what he could assume was a parking lot.  
>He felt curiosity willing him to reach up and move the blind fold, to disguise it as a nose scratch, but he restrained himself. This was a surprise that Dean was genuinely happy for, and happiness came rarely for the Winchester boy.<br>He could hear Dean giving long deep breaths as if frightened. "Okay... Okay..." He repeated, as if working up the courage for something. He exhaled slowly beside Castiel, and he squeezed Dean's wrist in reassurance.  
>"You've got this." Castiel promised, even though he was literally blind to the problem.<br>"Thanks, Cas. You see-"

"Actually, I don't see." Castiel corrected.

Dean punched his shoulder playfully. "I got these tickets for free, and I wanted to go, but now that I'm here, I'm kind of..." He didn't want to admit that he was afraid if anything. "I guess I'm just a little out of it." He improvised.  
>Castiel nodded, and he felt Dean's fingers begin working at the knot behind Castiel's head. "Dang, you tied it tight…" He commented.<br>The light burned his eyes a little as he squinted towards what Dean had pointed him to as the cloth fell from his face. He then realized it wasn't just the light, but also the bright white that the light was bouncing off of.  
>"A plane?" Castiel asked, a little confused.<br>"A jet." Dean corrected, leading Castiel to the stairs that entranced it. Castiel barely got a glance around the small runway and field they were in, before Dean rushed him onto the jet, handing two slips of paper to the man by the door.  
>"Just on time." The man reported, glancing down at his digital watch.<br>Dean nodded. "Great." He responded. Castiel sensed something off about Dean, and he studied his face worriedly.  
>"Dean, are you alright?" He whispered, eyeing the other passengers on the jet suspiciously.<br>Dean knew he wouldn't e able to hide it from Cas. "To be honest, I'm not a huge fan of flying." He revealed, avoiding Castiel's gaze.  
>"Then why are we here?" Cas asked in confusion.<br>"Cas. It was free." He said, as if that was the answer to everything. "Besides, I think you'll enjoy it." He said.  
>The man from the door had followed them into the plane and now stood at the front.<br>"Hello everyone! Today we'll be..." He waved his hands, asking for answer from the audience.  
>"Sky diving!" A few people shouted excitedly, and Castiel shifted from foot to foot, unsure of this.<br>"That's right, folks! Now, please remove all personal belongings, unless tightly secured in a personal bag attached firmly to body. Place all personal belongings in the baggage compartment, and we will be sure to get it back to you when we land." People began to take things out of their pockets, placing it into the provided bags and up into the bag storage.  
>"Thank you!" He said happily as everyone sat down, seemingly finished.<br>Dean was still digging a few things out of his pockets along with a few other people.  
>"Knife, keys..." He mumbled as he made sure he had everything.<br>"We have provided curtains for you to change into the jump suits, and we assure you that you will have privacy and that your clothes will be returned along with your luggage!" He implored, and people began moving towards the curtains to change into the colored suits they had been handed.  
>Castiel stood by Dean's side, unsure of what to do, even as he was handed a blue jumper.<br>There was only one dressing room left, and Castiel gestured for Dean to take it.  
>"Come on." Dean said, pulling Castiel into the small changing area as if he hadn't seen Castiel's suggestion.<br>They turned their backs to each other as they changed, but Castiel wasn't so sure that Dean had kept his eyes in his side, especially because of the smirk on his face and the way he carried himself as they exited.  
>Castiel tried to contain the raging color that pounded into his cheeks, and he saw Dean's green eyes scour over his tinted face.<br>The plane jostled a little, and Dean latched onto Castiel's arm.  
>Castiel watched the eyes widen. "Are you sure you're okay, Dean?"<br>"Only if the plane is." Dean responded, glancing around the small plane room.  
>"Okay sky-divers! As you follow me to this next room, ensure that your eye coverage is secured over your face tightly. If it's not, tighten the strap by tugging on it. Otherwise, you may suffer permanent damage to your eyes. In the next room I may have to shout, as the pressure and airflow creates a loud sound."<br>Passengers nodded, following the man into the next room, none of them as worried as Castiel about the 'permanent damage to your eyes' part.  
>The air flow hit them hard, most of the passengers stumbling back. Dean had a death grip on Cas' shoulder, holding himself up. Castiel reached a hand up to hold Dean's shaking hands, and he planted a small kiss on Dean's forehead.<br>Dean shook his head, standing up a little straighter. He seemed to be singing something, but Castiel couldn't hear what it was. He did know that singing calmed Dean down though, and he was glad that it seemed to be working.  
>They were all handed large green bags, and they could only assume they were parachute bags.<br>Dean seemed to still be breathing heavily, his chest moving rapidly.  
>"It's going to be fine!" Castiel shouted above the wind.<br>Dean nodded, feigning his bravery. "Just don't let go, alright Cas? I don't want you to get hurt or something!" He shouted, and Castiel couldn't hold back his smile. Trying to act as if he was facing this head on... He could tell easily that Dean was terrified.  
>Others around the plane lined up, following the instructor's hand movements. He almost stopped to tell them that they'd have to go separately, but looking into the eyes of the terrified Dean, he let it slide.<br>They were right behind the first man to go, his excited screams fading off into the distance as they fell downward.  
>Dean backed up a little, having second thoughts, but seeing Castiel prepared and brave, he set himself forward.<br>He adjusted the parachute pack, ensuring it was tight enough. He followed Castiel as he jumped.  
>"I'm a friggin idiot!" He shouted as he fell, his eyes shut, and his grip around Castiel's hand was crippling. Knuckles pushed into the palm of his hand, but he didn't care.<br>He felt the air rushing all around him, and he couldn't hear anything but the flow of wind past his face. His eyes were still shut tight, and his mouth was shut in an effort to keep out any unwanted bugs or air or something.

He knew his fingernails would leave crescents on the back of Castiel's hands, but he was scared as hell.  
>Surprisingly, Dean was still able to feel Castiel's hand tighten, and he was especially shocked that Cas still had feeling in his hand. He felt something tap his goggles, and he guessed it was Castiel's fingers.<br>Dean peered out one of his eyes, the falling sensation in his stomach growing as he looked down at the vast fields of green they were falling towards.  
>Dean opened his eyes wide in an effort to see Cas easier, and he couldn't help but worry.<br>His Castiel was falling.  
>What if the parachutes didn't work? What if they pulled them a second too late? What if-<br>Castiel pulled on Dean's shoulder, covering his mouth with his own. Dean pulled back, not used to Cas taking the lead, and kissed him back with more force than Cas had. He transferred his fear and love through the kiss, his hands still tightly entwined with Castiel's.

Kissing in air… exhilarating.  
>They watched the people below them slow with their chutes now deployed, and Dean looked back up to Cas in obvious worry.<br>Castiel smiled, mouthing the words 'I'll go first' since Dean wouldn't be able to hear him over the pounding wind.  
>Dean searched Cas' eyes for any sign of fear or doubt, but all he saw was excitement. He had to admit that it was pretty damn cool to be falling like this, especially side by side with Cas. He shook his head, volunteering to go, and Castiel nodded proudly.<br>Dean squeezed Castiel's hand a little before releasing it, holding Castiel's gaze until he pulled the cord.  
>He felt a jolt on his shoulders, the pack digging into his chest. "Shit!" He felt himself say, even though he couldn't hear it. He heard a distinctive whoosh of the parachute being released, causing more of the pull on his torso. He shut his eyes, feeling himself slow down quickly, and he watched Castiel plummet down some more before he pulled his own, the red tarp spreading to cover his view of Cas.<br>Dean looked about the field, most people already landed. He smiled triumphantly as he looked around the landscape. He could see his Baby in the parking lot down the road, and he could tell that the buzz of the wind in his ears had died down, although they were now ringing.  
>He watched himself approach the ground faster, and this time he was ready. Or he thought he was.<br>His feet hit the ground and he tumbled, tripping over the strings of his parachute, falling over. His ankle twisted the wrong way and he gasped out in pain as he fell face first into the ground.  
>Castiel had discarded his pack already, and he now rushed to Dean's aid, digging through the colored tarp.<br>"Dean?" He called out worriedly, pushing aside the red blanket to find Dean tangled up in the cord.  
>He laughed a little, looking down at the boy. He kneeled and untangled the knots around Dean's arms and legs. He cut his finger on one of the rungs, popping the cut into his mouth to suck off the blood. "Ow." He complained.<br>"You call that a cut?" Dean laughed, pointing to his forehead.  
>Castiel's eyes scoured Dean's face until he saw the obvious: a crimson red liquid leaking from a line across his temple.<br>"Shit, Dean! You can't pass that off as a minor cut! Why would you laugh at that?" He scolded, using his shirt to dab at the blood.  
>Dean felt the cloth touch his head, and he lied back into Cas' lap, laughing his ass off.<br>"We should do it again." He said happily, in a high from the blood loss from his head and the feeling of free fall.  
>"You couldn't do it again, even if it was free." Cas mumbled, knowing Dean was still ready to piss his pants after that experience. "You only liked the slow part." He pointed out, but Dean ignored him, staring up at the sky.<br>Castiel sighed. "Alright, Dean. Let's go get you patched up. You sound like you bumped your head pretty hard."  
>Castiel almost got himself tangled in the cords as well, and he left the parachute where it was. If the company couldn't ensure the safety if its customers, than it could at least ensure the clean-up.<br>He dug into Dean's pocket, taking out the Impala keys, and Dean didn't protest, too exhausted to complain.  
>Cas led him to the passenger side, but Dean shook his head. He insisted to drive.<br>"Can't you stop doing things that make you feel manly even when you're hurt?" Cas asked, and Dean gave him an award winning smirk in return, though he didn't seem to put that much effort into it. He still seemed drowsy, and Castiel was hoping he didn't have a concussion.  
>Castiel popped the trunk from the driver's side, his cut irritating him when it bumped against the rough plastic on the switch.<br>He opened the black trunk door, looking through the different things Dean had piled back here. His nose scrunched up when he found a bag of old groceries that had begun to rot, and he tossed those outside the trunk, not wanting to touch, smell, or think about them any longer.  
>His hand brushed over something sticky and he jerked his hand back. He'd have to clean out the trunk sometime soon. He dug under a few more duffel bags and such, his hand brushing against a hard plastic.<br>He tugged on it, hoping it was the first-aid kit. It got caught on something and he pulled again.  
>The first-aid kit came out fine, but something else caught his eye as it tumbled out of the trunk.<br>A small packet fell out of the trunk of the impala, and Castiel's eyes widened.  
>"D-Dean." He said, loud enough for him to here the anger in his voice. "Dean Winchester!" He repeated, his voice booming with anger.<br>Dean had climbed out of the car, following the path Cas had taken to the back of the car.  
>"Yeah?" He asked, his tone giving away his slight worry. Cas had never been this angry.<br>"What the hell are those?" He pointed accusingly down at the packet of cigarettes, never breaking eye contact with the guilty green eyes that glanced down at the laminated pack and bounced back up to meet Castiel's gaze.  
>"Cas... I can explain..." He started.<br>"Good. What the fuck are those?" Dean jumped a little, and even Castiel was surprised that he had let that word escape. Usually the curse words came from Dean's mouth, but Castiel didn't allow leniency.  
>Dean tugged at his jacket sleeve a little. "They're cigarettes, but-" he stopped himself. He wouldn't lie to Cas. He had been smoking them. Often. "I mean, I... Cas, I smoke, and I..." He trailed off, worried by how upset Cas appeared now.<br>"Dean, these things are freaking killing you! That's how my dad fucking died!" He shouted, and Dean avoided his gaze, sympathy filling his heart as he recalled Castiel's father's story.  
>"Cas, I know, it's just-"<br>"It's just that you took the time to become addicted, Dean. And you did it behind my back? Even worse. I bet you weren't even planning to quit."  
>Dean had actually wanted to, he just didn't know where to start. He shook his head though, knowing he probably wouldn't have gone through with the whole quitting thing. "Cas, I thought about it, I just didn't want to. I...it's something I enjoy Cas."<br>Tears were streaming down Castiel's face. He had been closest to his father, more than anyone in the world, and his father had died smoking. His mother had changed after that, becoming an alcoholic, abusive mother, and then transitioning into the astonishing and cruel office worker she was now.  
>Dean was shaking badly, not from anger but more so fear. He had sworn to Cas that he wasn't smoking, even though he was. That same day he had stashed all his cigarettes into his trunk, hoping Castiel wouldn't find it.<br>"You lied to me, Dean. You swore to God that you didn't smoke, that you never wanted to." Dean could tell from his tone that Cas was cross with him, and the sadness and feeling of betrayal flowed from Castiel's mouth, hurting them both as he said the obvious out loud. "You do smoke. I thought it was car exhaust I smelled on you, something you got from working on cars so much. I kept pushing away the stupid thought that you were smoking, even though it was right in front of me. I didn't want to believe that you'd betray me like that."  
>Dean's green eyes searched the pebbles on the ground as if they had the response he should give, but apparently there was nothing he could do.<br>Castiel's crystal and tear-wet eyes searched his face, kicking a small piles of gravel, sending it scattering across the ground. He wanted to break down crying, but at the same time to strike out at Dean, except he did nothing.  
>Dean seemed to not want to say anything in response, and so Castiel spun on his heel, leaving Dean to pick up his crap pack.<br>Castiel didn't bother to grab any of his stuff, not even his trench coat. Why bother? It probably smelled like Dean's cigarette breath anyways.  
>He left in a huff, the sound and feeling of the gravel under his feet the only sound in the lot, until Dean spoke.<br>"C-Cas..." He began, running up behind him and grabbing his arm.  
>Castiel swatted at him, forcing him off. "No. You know how I feel about smoking and crap. Not to mention the enormous lie you've told me numerous times!" He shouted, and the other people packing their things in their cars turned their heads at the commotion.<br>Dean scowled at them, then turned to Cas with sad eyes. "Cas, I'm so sorry, it's just... I..." He didn't know how to finish. Was smoking really worth it? He remembered the last time he tried to quit, ending up shaky and aggravated, easily irritated. Probably because he had cut himself off completely from nicotine, without taking it slow.  
>He shuddered, remembering how sick he had felt.<br>"Dean, let go of my hand." Castiel said quietly, yet sternly. He yanked his hand back, leaving Dean to stumble forward a little from the force.  
>Castiel stormed off towards the exit of the parking lot, swearing to himself that if Dean tried and stop him, he'd try his best at kicking ass.<br>Dean knew it was a sensitive time as he watched Cas' retreating back, his shoulders hunched up in tense frustration. He knew it was probably the wrong time to do it, but he was stressed.  
>He picked up the pack from the ground, tugging out a cigarette and situating it on his lip. He held a hand around the tip, where he held the lighter, igniting it. The wind blew out the lighter and he tried again, finally getting more than a spark. He felt tears stinging his eyes, the cold making it worse.<br>Taking a long draft of smoke, he realized that Cas had left his jacket. That meant that Cas was walking out in the freezing cold, with a wind chill.  
>He's as about to climb in the impala and go after him, but he realized that Cas would get even more upset. After all, Dean smelled like fresh smoke.<br>He watched Castiel's back, and as the blue eyes boy turned a corner not so far ahead, he happened to look over to Dean. He froze, his gaze locked on the cloud of smoke that drifted above Dean's head as he released his breath.  
>He seemed to shake a little, then ran, a hand reaching up to his eyes to wipe away the salty liquid falling from his eyes uncontrollably.<br>Dean sighed, scratching the back of his neck and tucking the cigarette back in between his lips. He felt the warmth of the dark gas as it brushed against his outer lips, and he dropped the small white tobacco stick, climbing into the car.  
>Even if Cas was pissed, he couldn't leave him in the cold like that.<br>Dean glanced into the rear view mirror as he backed out, but he groaned, opening up the door again and going around to close the trunk.  
>He found the blue shirt and dark hair some ways down the road, and he pulled over to see a homeless man, looking at the car as it slowed down by him.<br>_Shit, I look like some creep..._ Dean thought, reminding himself that Cas was wearing black pants and not brown shorts.  
>He went a little faster, pulling up to having traveled a mile. Had Castiel gone the other way? He made a quick U-turn, heading down the road again to check for Cas.<br>He ducked his head as he passed the homeless man, knowing he looked like even more of a creeper, passing by a second time.  
>Dean had to double check the next blue shirt, but he had spotted Castiel.<br>Cas glanced towards the source of the engine sound, recognizing the 67's engine almost too easily.  
>He ignored the horn that sounded next, honking at him as an encouragement to look towards the car. Cas wouldn't give him the satisfaction.<br>The honking eventually came to an end, and now it was only the small purr of the car engine as it followed steadily behind him.  
>Castiel's gaze was focused straight ahead, not paying attention.<br>Mom was right. He thought. I screw up everything.  
>His thoughts traveled to his father inevitably, and as he thought, he heard the impala window rolling down. He ignored his name, only thinking about his father, Chuck.<br>Chuck had been a good man, and an exceptional father. Castiel looked down at his dark shoes, thinking more about the pajamas his father used to wear, Christmas ones in the summer and sunshine ones in the winter. The ridiculous games they'd play, using only their imagination.

How many times had Castiel said "I'm hungry" and his Dad responded "Hi hungry, I'm Dad."?  
>Castiel was age 14 when he died, leaving a permanent scar on his entire family, seeming to affect his mother the most.<br>She had turned to the life of a recluse, never leaving the house except to buy alcohol on the measly amount if money she had, that she wasn't giving up for groceries. No, it was her son's job to get enough money to pay off the house, and that meant he usually skipped all of his breakfasts, relying on the three or four dinners a week and free school lunch to get by.  
>He had never stolen, but many times he was tempted to, before he remembered that this was not the job God had intended if him. And so instead of sinning, he worked hard through the struggle up until he was starting high school, and his mother bought a brand new wardrobe and a new house, starting up a new life with an extensive career.<br>Now Castiel was in his senior year, acing his classes and hopelessly in love with a criminal.  
>I'm in love with a criminal. He thought, and that reminded him of some sort of song lyrics. I'm also in love with an asshole. He added to that thought, still ignoring Dean's calling.<br>He heard the Impala come to a stop altogether, and after the door opened and closed, he wasn't surprised that he heard footsteps.  
>Castiel walked on, hoping Dean wouldn't touch him, wouldn't look into his eyes with those green ones. He knew that if he looked at Dean he'd want to kick his ass, to run away screaming, but he didn't want to do that…yet. He wanted him to see how much he had screwed over their relationship.<br>Dean's steps fell behind him, and he could soon barely distinguish the taps of his shoes compared to Dean's.  
>He took a shaky breath, wondering why Dean was still following behind him, being silent again. "I'm going home, Dean." He said, still not turning, although his feet came to a rest from walking endlessly.<br>To be honest, he had no idea which way he was going, and he could hear Dean's fake smile in his next words. "You're heading out of town." Dean retorted, and Cas could feel the heavy pressures inclination to turn around, but being stubborn, he didn't.  
>"What is there for me in Waterford?" Castiel asked, talking about the town he saw on the sign, three miles away. That wasn't too bad if he made headway. He felt his feet shift above the concrete sidewalk, lifting and coming back down again as he started the trek.<br>"Shitty neighborhoods, bad food, no place on the map." Dean exemplified, adding on a few more. "Nowhere to stay but the street, large and growing crime rate, not to mention that there's no school around."  
>Dean held his breath as Castiel continued to walk. Was he seriously considering leaving? What the hell, I mean his entire life is back there, he thought thinking back to Castiel's house. Everything he loves is here, so why the hell would he go?<br>Then Dean remembered what Cas had said to him a while back...  
><em>"Dean, you're the thing I love most in this crack world. Everything else, it just doesn't matter as much anymore."<em> He had confided, and he tried to remember what had started the conversation. He think they'd been cleaning out his room, and he had filled up two and a half trash bags of things that looked like they'd be important to other people.  
>He remembered it more clearly now, remembered how Cas had mindlessly tossed a few trophies and books he'd already read.<br>Cas would leave, and it wasn't because of his mother or any other bull shit. It was Dean's fault.  
>Why the hell had he lied to Cas in the first place? He should have told the damn truth…<br>His eyes searched the ground, seeing the pale concrete and nothing much else except a few pieces of loose gravel and stones. The grass was growing over onto the walk, and soon the sidewalk ended completely, leaving only grass and road ahead of them.  
>The pavement was dark as Castiel continued, not stopping. He would go back for his cash and stuff later, but not until Dean stopped following him.<br>He took a wide turn, back towards Uriel city. He ensured that his eyes were glued to the left when Dean came to walk beside him on his right. "Get the hell away from me."  
>He felt a shift in the sir behind his back and reached up a hand to stop Dean's attempt to put his coat on for him. His eyes shifted and he finally met the guilty green ones.<br>"Dean, leave me alone. I swear, I'll-"  
>"Do what?" Dean asked, letting his hands fall by his side, the trench coat heavy in his hands. "Cas, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for you to..." He quieted.<br>"To what? Find out? You think I'd rather not know why you were dying from lung cancer?" Dean was silent as the harsh words poured from Castiel's mouth, but Cas felt no regret. "It's either you care about me enough to quit, or we quit." He said, and when Dean went to protest, Castiel spun, shouting now. "You're being stupid! Do you know how easy it would have been to say yes, that you smoked? Why are you so god damn selfish?!" He accused, and Dean felt a spark of something inside him when Castiel called him selfish.  
>"I'm selfish? Did you ever stop to think that maybe it was my choice? Because it was, Cas. I made the choice to smoke and to lie to you. You're the one trying to take away my choices." He said angrily. He felt guilty as he let his mind and mouth go auto-pilot, but he didn't take them back. "If you're father died, so what? Is that my problem? He was probably some dumb shit, dead beat!" Shit.<br>Castiel's hand flew up, decking Dean in the face. "Ass hole!" Cas shouted. He broke into a sprint, running away from Dean, but not before Dean spotted the hitch in his shoulders, the struggle against the lump in his throat, and the tears.  
>Dean's eyes were wide, and he was breathing heavily. He didn't mind the blood running from his nose. He had just made fun of Castiel's dead father and his fucked up life. What had he done?<br>He stared after Castiel, shaking at the knees. He was only afraid now; terrified, horrified, that he would lose Cas.  
>He knew that Castiel's life was a living hell right now, that his mother was abusive and never happy with her, what she would call, worthless child. He knew Cas was bullied in school everyday. He knew that Cas had literally no friends besides Sam, Hannah, and himself. He looked down the street, Castiel's figure smaller than ever. Even if he raced back to the impala, Dean knew he wouldn't get in.<br>All these things in Cas' life, every single one were a result of cigarettes. His only true friend, his dad had died. If Castiel's father was still alive, he probably wouldn't be studying ever single day of his life and avoiding social interactions at all cost.  
>Dean began to run.<br>He would promise to stop, even though his promises now seemed empty. He couldn't help but be slightly amused at how fast Cas had burned out of running.  
>Luckily Dean was still in shape from football season, running almost effortlessly to Castiel's front side. He ignored all the pride he had to muster this apology.<br>He looked down to Castiel, watching his shifting eyes. He was currently glaring off somewhere in the near space, attempting to step around him, his arms crossed, eyes burning with hatred.

"Move."  
>Dean grabbed his wrists, and Castiel glanced up at him, not feeling guilty for the blood running down his nose. "What?" He asked, avoiding his gaze.<br>"Cas, look at me." Dean said.  
>Blue eyes darted to green, and an electric silence passed between them.<br>Emotion replaced that electricity in seconds, and Dean shifted his weight to dig the cigarettes out of is pocket.  
>Castiel winced as he saw them, until Dean pried open Castiel's fingers and put them in his hands.<br>"I'm stopping. Today." He said, and Castiel shook his head.  
>"No, Dean. You lied once, and you promised me that lie at least once every week if not more. Every time I spoke about it you said you never had any interest in cigarettes. I can't forgive you. Besides… My dad is a dumb-ass dead beat, remember?" He huffed. "You're no better than every single ass hole at that school."<br>Dean felt worse as he heard the obvious said out loud, and it hung between them as if they were two posts with a heavy rope between the two.  
>Dean was nodding, and as he realized this, he formed words to follow. "I know people say forgive an forget, but I also know its impossible to forget something like this. I know I have to earn your trust again, and I'm going to redeem myself to you, Cas."<br>Castiel's fingers owed around the white and green packet, and he nodded a little, pleased with Dean's answer. Though he wouldn't forgive him so easily, he would accept this for now.  
>"I'll... Give you a chance, Dean." He said carefully, and Dean could tell there was something else. "But I'm not going to forget what you said."<br>"Cas, I didn't mean that crap I said about your dad, man. I don't want you to forgive me for that, understand? Don't forgive me, just keep kicking my ass for it. Punch me again if you want to, I just need to pay for what I said."  
>Castiel shook his head, pointing towards the sky. "God delivers proper punishment in time." Castiel taught, and Dean nodded. "And if he doesn't, maybe I will punch you."<br>Although he wasn't religious, Dean knew he'd get his karma somehow.  
>"Cas, I know you'll still be pissed for the next few days, but I'm stopping this stupid addiction right now." He told him.<br>Castiel nodded, his fist tightening around the pack. "Good. It's good that you know. And thank you... For quitting. It's just that- Well I'm afraid to lose you like I did Dad." He said, sniffling a bit. He looked to his left, a car coming down the road at too speed.  
>Castiel underhanded the packet if smokes, chucking them underneath the car as it passed.<br>The pack was crushed, no hope for retrieving the tobacco.  
>Dean was afraid to wrap his arms around Castiel, and even as he did, his fear was confirmed when Castiel's shoulders tensed, and he was shoved away. He led Castiel in silence towards the impala.<br>Dean shied away from Castiel from then on. He was borderline walking in the grass when Castiel took a small step closer to him. "Dean, stop acting like that. You can walk on the same sidewalk as me. Just don't… Don't expect things to be the same for a while…"  
>Dean looked up at him as he wiped a small bead of sweat from his hairline. The sun was beating down on them and he was partly blinded from the squinting, but he could see Castiel's hurt eyes.<br>They spotted the impala someway down the street ahead of them, and they didn't bother looking down the empty road for cars.  
>Castiel looked up for a fleeting glimpse at the darkening sky. It would be night soon enough, most likely by the time yet got home. Castiel didn't speak to Dean the entire ride home, and Dean found it rude to turn on the radio, so he refrained himself, instead finding himself humming Metallica when the car engine was loud enough so that Cas wouldn't hear him.<br>Once back at Dean's house, Castiel opened the car door, ready to get out immediately.  
>"G'night Cas..." Dean mumbled as the car door slammed shut. There was the answer to the obvious question: are you still mad?<br>He rubbed at his eyes, looking back up towards Castiel, who swatted at his arm as if something bit him.  
>It looked like <strong>a<strong> **mosquito** **bit Cas.** He shouldn't **worry** so much.  
>Dean's hand pushed against the car door as he tugged on the handle, pulling himself out of the Impala. Hopefully he wouldn't end up wallowing in self pity tonight.<br>He felt a mosquito bite him as it had Cas, most likely the same one. He smashed it flat, the blood mark staining his brown leather sleeve. He was disgusted to have an assortment of random people's blood on his arm, so he wiped at it furiously.  
>"Gross..." He grumbled, stuffing his hands into his pockets and heading up towards the door. He twisted the key in the lock, opening up the pale white door. He tossed his and Castiel's bag onto his couch, about to head into the kitchen for dinner when he remembered the reservation tickets in his wallet. He glanced at the clock. They would only have 2 minutes to get ready and be there, definitely not enough time.<br>He shrugged. Castiel had even said that he preferred fast food before. Ms. Novak could suck a-  
>He crouched low as he heard a faint noise coming from upstairs. It was repetitive, although not in a set beat.<br>His feet seemed to make too much noise in the sudden silence, and he crawled as quietly as he could towards the knife block. Pulling out a kitchen knife and his cell phone, he dialed Castiel's number.  
>He had almost hit 'call' when he heard a sad voice, one he recognized well.<br>"Dean?" Sam stood at the foot of the steps, dabbing at his eyes. He stood up straighter when he saw it was in fact his brother, and he blinked a few times, trying to dry out his tears. "Why are you home so soon?" He asked casually.  
>Dean sighed placing down the knife. He held out one of his arms, motioning for Sam to come over with a few flicks of his fingers.<br>Sam followed him into the living room where they both sat down on the couch, Dean pushing the bags he had thrown there into the floor.  
>"What happened, Sammy?" He asked, and Sam swallowed back the sob that echoed in his throat. He was practically choking as he tried not to cry in front of his brother.<br>He seemed to give in to the feeling, a choked sigh falling from his throat and open mouth. "Dean, It's Jess."  
>"What about her? What's wrong?" Dean asked worriedly, shifting his position on the sofa.<br>"She d- she b-" he began, but he never seemed to finish any of his sentences. He didn't look like he was able to.  
>"She broke up with you?" Dean asked carefully, knowing it was a sensitive topic, especially since Sam had been closer to Jess than their own father.<br>He shook his head, hugging himself, his eyes wide with terror. "Worse." He mouthed silently, and Dean's eyes shifted towards Sam's horrific expression.  
>"Sam, she isn't..." He started, but he cut himself off. That was impossible. Why the hell and how the hell would she...<br>"Dead." Sam spoke. "Dead. Jessica is dead." He cried out. His jaw twitched, and his eyes were still wet with tears. "What the hell, Dean? Mom frigging died the same way. And... A few nights before this shit, guess what? I had night area if Jess burning alive. Now she's dead, and the fire department is at our apartment. I... I couldn't get her out in time... She- We-" he stopped, looking towards Dean. Remember how Mom's legs got caught under the piece of roof? Jess got crushed by the roof too, and she was pinned to the ground just like mom."  
>Dean shook his head. "Sam... Hell, man. It was just a coincidence, alright? Mom and Jess died like that, but who knows, right? Maybe it was just some weird hallucination."<br>"Dean, I know what I saw. It's just too similar, don't you think?" He pressed urgently, encouraging Dean to believe him. He sank back into his seat as he watched Dean continued to look puzzled.  
>"Well what about the nightmares?" He asked, hoping Dean would at least believe him on those. "I saw her in the exact same position as the one she died in, the exact same chunk of ceiling and fire!" He said, but Dean looked at him as if to say 'you're crazy'<br>He let out a breath of frustration, slamming a fist against the arm of the couch. "Damn it, Dean, I know what I saw!"  
>Dean shook his head. "Sammy, you aren't psychic or anything, okay? It's just a coincidence, trust me."<br>"I'll trust you when you trust me." Sam protested, and Dean looked up at him angrily.  
>"You're blaming yourself, aren't you? For Jessica's death?"<br>Sam's eyes widened a fraction, glancing away from Dean's hard gaze for a moment before meeting the hard eyes once more.  
>"If I had warned her-"<br>"About what? Tell her you saw some crazy ass dream if her bursting into flame?"  
>"Yeah, Dean! Maybe I could have saved her! If she had known, we could have bought a new apartment, made sure fire hazards were gone completely-"<br>"Maybe?" Dean repeated. "Sam, there was nothing you could do." He sighed, rubbing his temple. "How did the fire start?"  
>Sam shook his head. "They already caught the pyromaniac. Some arsonist going by the name Azazel. He was on some bad drugs though... His eyes were like a bright yellow. It was kind of creepy, to be honest." Sam admitted, looking out the window. "He confessed to mom's fire too." He confided, and Dean felt his fist bundle up against his thigh.<br>"Who the hell is this guy? I'll kill him." He said, a strong vengeance tempting his mind. It was sated when Sam told him about the death sentence the man would serve for multiple fires across the country.  
>Dean smirked with a cruel amusement. "Good. The asshat got what he deserved."<br>Sam shrugged. "Yeah, I guess so."  
>Dean glanced over to Sam, and quickly looked away when Sam looked over. Dean was going to find out the whole story soon enough.<br>"Well it's late, and I want to sleep." Dean said, putting on a fake smile.  
>Sam saw right through that smile. "Did you get in an argument with Cas?" He asked, brushing a few stray strands of hair from his forehead.<br>Dean shrugged. "It was bound to happen. Perfect couples are fake ones."  
>Sam nodded in agreement. "Hey, do you think I could..." He trailed off, not sure how to ask if he could stay here. After all, his only home had burnt to the ground after he had come home from work.<br>Dean nodded. "Stay as long as you like." He responded, catching the question that hasn't been stated. "Just me and dad here, but he's on a business trip. He won't be home for a few days." As he mentioned his father, he remembered his dad's gaze as him and As had made out in the impala. He swallowed down his guilt and worry, instead turning to the staircase. "Good night." He mumbled to Sam, who repeated the goodbye.  
>Dean almost tripped when he reached the stairs, but he quickly righted himself, ignoring Sam's laughter at his stumble.<br>Dean climbed the stairs, his hand trailing along the railing. He twisted the brass knob on his door, slamming his shoulder into the door. The hinges were rusted and don't allow him to easily open his room. He suddenly felt jealous that Sam was allowed to move out of the house at age 17, while Dean was stuck under his father's roof until he had a stable job.  
>Dean's thoughts drifted to where we wanted to live in the future. Probably somewhere on the east coast with Cas. And while his husband became the president, he'd be doing some other job... He still wasn't sure what he wanted to do, though.<br>He shook his head to clear his thoughts as the door gave way, sending him tumbling into his room.  
>He recollected himself, dropping back with his arms open. He fell into the sheeted if his bed, ending tangling up in them as he fell asleep, hoping that nothing would haunt him that night.<p> 


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's note: I know, it's been what? A month since I last updated? I'm sorry :( Start casting your bets as to if I'll get another in tonight. I'll cross my fingers until they lose circulation and fall off, don't worry. :) Hope you like the ending especially guys *Evil laughter* *Starts to hack up blood* (You'll get the hacking up blood part later)**

Castiel yawned, stretching his arms out wide to work out the clicks in his shoulder bones. He lay back on his bed, shutting his eyes again, sighing as he pulled the blankets up to cover his mouth. Saturday... What would he do on a Saturday?

He rolled over, face first into his pillow and he curled up underneath the blankets, his fists clenching as he hugged the pillow, trying to absorb the last of the warmth from the sheets before he got up. Maybe he'd sleep all day...  
>Usually he'd spend the weekend studying, or with Dean, but both ideas didn't sound very good. He refused to even speak to Dean today, especially after the events of yesterday.<br>He pushed himself up into a kneeling position, tossing one of his legs off the bed, and using his mattress for support as he stood, dragging his other foot out of bed.  
>He looked around the room for his cell phone, checking the pants he had worn last night, still not finding it. He looked by the charger, then on his nightstand and in the drawers where he kept his phone most times.<br>Crap.  
>He had left it with Dean when he had rushed out of the Impala last night. Dean probably had brought it into his house.<br>Castiel was slightly pissed at himself for not grabbing it, but he was even more pissed at Dean.  
>If he did go over there, he'd end up being dragged inside by Dean for another day, one where they couldn't even look at each other without getting upset. They'd only get into another fight.<br>That got his mind thinking about Dean's promise of quitting. Would he truly give up smoking? He had lied to him about the cigarettes each and every time, though he felt that now he could easily read the giveaways of Dean's dishonesty.  
>He thought about the subtle movement of his bottom lip as he lied, the very small flicker of his eyes as they glanced away and back for a split second. Blink and you'd miss it. Keep your eyes open and you saw everything.<br>He looked out his window, the one that was level with Dean's on the inside of the house walls, where they faced each other regularly.  
>All Castiel saw was curtain, and as soon as they gave a flitter of movement, he ducked, peering just above the window sill, using the dark curtains of his room to hide himself as he watched Dean open the window through a slight part of ajar curtain.<br>Dean stared over to Castiel's house in questioning, allowing the window skirts to fall back into place. It seemed as though he hadn't seen Castiel, who returned to his bed with a sigh, turning on the television. He had to distract himself from this stupid shit.

Dean looked out the window for a small moment in hesitation. Should he go to return Castiel's things or just hang out with someone else? He then realized that he didn't have anyone else. He had Sam; he had Cas, and his "uncle", Bobby. He technically had his father, but he had no idea where he was most of the time.

Maybe he'd go and do something with Sam who, by the smell of it, was in the middle of preparing breakfast. Eggs and bacon most likely. Sam had always preferred a breakfast you could sit down and enjoy, compared to Dean's grab-and-go.  
>He decided to go down stairs, hoping Cas would come to pick up his stuff before he and Sam left, that is, if Sam wanted to go anywhere. After all, his girlfriend's death yesterday... That had to have taken a toll on him.<br>Sam was indeed preparing things in a pan, a sad look on his face. Dean was about to grab a microwavable meal or something for a quick and easy breakfast when he realized Sam was used to making Jess meals. He knew Sam was going to have to adjust to this house, but he also knew he wasn't going to do it immediately. Besides, Sam had accidentally made enough for two, like he was obviously used to.  
>"Thanks for breakfast, Sammy!" Dean said, clapping his brother on the back in fake gratitude. He looked down at the already burnt food. His fake smile seemed strained for a second, until it fell into a distasteful frown, the 'anticipation' suddenly dropping three levels from the low one it was already on.<p>

Although he did enjoy food in general, his younger brother's cooking wasn't appetizing at all. He attempted to be glad and waited patiently for the breakfast.  
>After all, the only reason Dean had been eating homemade food lately was because of Castiel's skills in the culinary arts. His hand in the kitchen was like God's hand in hell: a blessing. He hoped Sam was able to somewhat save the food, though due to his repeated flipping and pressing, he'd most likely burnt them into charcoal first.<br>Sam flipped the eggs onto a plate, his eyes dull, and Dean decided that either Jessica would lie to Sam about how good his cooking was, or maybe she had been the one cooking. He doubted anyone could lie about how good this stuff was... He didn't even know if he had the literal guts to tell Sammy that he was enjoying the food.  
>He looked down to the brown, crusted eggs and shriveled, blackened bacon in distaste. Picking up the plastic fork Sam handed him, and in blatant distrust of the food before him, he shoveled a fork of eggs into his mouth, the bad and strange taste settling on his tongue. Not all of the scrambled egg was cooked, and most of it that was, was burnt to the point of a dark brown, no longer looking like eggs except for the inside of it. He swallowed it down without chewing, knowing that the taste of ash would be in place on his tongue for the rest of the day.<br>He desperately wanted to spit it out.  
>Sam pushed away his plate after a simple glance at the plate, looking disappointedly up to Dean. "You can spit it back up. I know it sucks."<br>Dean had never spit out food so quickly in his entire life. Gratefully, he allowed it to fall out of his mouth, going to grab some of his dad's beer from the fridge. "Yeah..." Dean confirmed, disliking the after taste, though it didn't compare to the actual flavor. "Hey, Sam... Where's the beer?" He looked over to his brother, who looked guiltily up to him. Dean nodded to him, signaling that it was okay. "Hey man, it's alright. I know, with Jess and all..." He closed the fridge and opened the freezer, retrieving a hot pocket for himself and his brother.  
>He dropped them onto a paper plate and then into the microwave.<br>3...0...0 he pressed the buttons, then activated the 'START' button.  
>The microwave beeped once and began its task, making a small humming noise as it worked to radiate heat into the spinning food inside.<br>Dean sat back down at the table with Sam, at first avoiding looking at his brother. The urge eventually became too strong for him to resist, and he studied Sam's eyes to ensure he was okay.  
>"Is there going to be some sort of hearing or funeral thing?" Dean asked casually, trying to converse and get him to talk about it, but as soon as he did, he regretted it, Sam's eyes narrowing as he stared down at the table.<br>"Why would you care?" He asked accusingly, doubting that Dean actually gave a shit. He put his head in his hands, pushing his hair out of his face, and Dean couldn't help but think that he should cut it soon. It was getting long, almost brushing his shoulders now.  
>"Because I'm your brother. I knew Jess too, you know." He informed Sam. "Sorry this happened to you, but being a dick about it won't change anything." He commented, and Sam shook his head as he placed it in his hands, his elbows digging into the wooden table, if that was even possible. His fingers curled up a bundle of his hair in each hand in frustration.<br>"Dean, what the hell am I supposed to do?" He asked, knowing his brother wouldn't have the answer. Sam raised his head, staring at something that would avert his gaze from Dean's, leaving to go upstairs to his old room, now a guest room.  
>Dean watched him kick the chair aside and stomp upstairs. He had actually thought he'd be more depressed than he'd be aggravated.<br>He ruled out Sam as a possible way to burn out the time in the day. Tomorrow he'd probably suffer the same day of awkward  
>living next to Castiel. He sighed, deciding that he'd have to go over there before he died in the silence. He needed to drop off his crap anyways. Although he liked time to think, he required some sort of person to be near, someone to take his mind off the bullshit, and the only people that could do that were Cas and Sam, though both of them seemed to not want to speak to him.<br>He sighed. Why was he so god damn clingy? Did he really need someone to be with him today? Maybe he should just be alone, but no, his mind forbade it. He didn't like being alone, obvious by the fact that he surrounded himself with his family.  
>He went to go check the mail, pushing himself up from the table, completely ignoring the microwave alarm, telling him their food was done. Obviously Sam wasn't going to eat.<br>Dean opened the door, checking to see that it was indeed unlocked for him to get back in before he left. He took the slow steps down the driveway, afraid to glance over by Cas' house. He was probably having a better day than Dean was.  
>He'd have taken a smoke right there if he hadn't remembered his promise to Castiel. Besides, his only pack had been crushed under a speeding car. He wasn't going to do that sort of thing ever again... Maybe he could get the nicotine patches to help him quit, but the addiction was rubbing at him, like when you rubbed a cat, or that one material, the wrong way. It felt wrong.<br>Dean flipped open the mailbox, reaching a hand inside when he spotted the junk mail and other assorted envelopes. He flickered through them, most addresses to his father, but one specifically for him.  
>He opened the dark red envelope, wondering why his high school was sending him something like this.<br>He peeked inside, spotting two free prom tickets, along with a note from his English and literature teacher.  
>'Dean, I know this is early, but I chose to give the free tickets to you and Castiel. Have fun at the dance!'<br>Dean vaguely remembered that teachers had been allowed to send out two free tickets to a couple of their choice.  
>There was another piece of paper folded up inside, and he read over that one too.<br>'Ms. Ruby and Mr. Belding wanted to give you tickets too! Luckily I got there first...'  
>Dean stuffed the paper notes back into the envelope, heading back towards his house. He entered quietly and went up the stairs to his room where he placed the two tickets into his top drawer. Maybe they'd resolve their problems in a few weeks.<br>Dean knew him and Castiel wouldn't survive a boring ass day alone in their houses with this weird tension between them. Hopefully Castiel wouldn't be too out of it for them to hang out, possibly?  
>He was hopeful Castiel would accept him there, and though he knew he wasn't forgiven, he wouldn't survive this boredom without someone there with him.<br>That was why he was dreading Sam going to college.  
>He took one look back at his room as he went down stairs, hoping he hadn't forgotten anything of Cas'.<br>He picked up Castiel's bag of things on the way out the door, hoping he'd get an apology in before Castiel slammed a door in his face.  
>He traversed through the grass on their lawns, cutting across the yard to Castiel's walkway, the one that led up to his door.<br>Dean swallowed back his worry, replacing it with confidence, arrogance, and a whole lot of ego. The classic Dean Winchester.  
>He didn't need hope or worry on his side.<br>Dean rapped on the door, and in the fading cold of Winter, he waited.  
>The door swung inward, and Castiel looked to Dean with curious eyes. He came close to Dean, taking a small and subtle sniff, seemingly satisfied that he didn't smell like anything as unsavory as nicotine filled smoke.<br>"Dean." Castiel said, hugging him. Adoration filled his voice, and Dean laughed a little.  
>Although Castiel was upset with him, he was superbly glad that Dean hadn't taken to cigarettes again.<br>"Hey, Novak!" He said happily, glad that Castiel's trust was placed in him again, even if remaining damaged, and far less than true trust.  
>Dean wrapped his arm around Castiel's shoulder, placing the plastic bag into his foyer as he stepped inside the entryway.<br>He took one look around, and he was glad to be back. He knew he hadn't been invited in, but so what? He was Dean, and could do that if he wanted.  
>"Thank you." Castiel said, and Dean knew it was because he hadn't smoked, along with the fact of dropping off his possessions.<br>To be honest, there was a burning in Dean's throat from the lack of his usual nicotine routine, but he ignored it. He wouldn't allow something so trivial to push him back to smoking.  
>Castiel sat by him on the couch, and unsure how to start a conversation, he simply sat there. Dean had to remind himself that Castiel was still there for him, was still in love with him, and was still his.<br>Dean turned towards him. "Cas, I know I've been a whole bag of dicks lately, and I probably don't deserve any sympathy, but I'm sorry." Castiel smiled, and it reached his eyes just barely, proving that forgiveness would come, but it wouldn't come easily.

"Thanks." He mumbled, looking away again. Maybe it would have been better if Dean had stayed at home. After all, as of right now they were doing nothing but sitting in silence with this imaginary wall between them.  
>Dean seemed to accept the silence easily. It seemed as thought he preferred to be with Castiel, even if it meant they were like this. That gave Castiel some hope at the chance that Dean would stay true to his previous promise.<br>"Cas, I really am sorry about yesterday, man." He said, and Castiel looked over to him.  
>"It was wrong. You shouldn't have lied like that. You know, I actually hated you. I didn't want anything to do with you after I had stormed off. When you promised me that you'd quit, even then I doubted you. I still don't really trust you, but I hope you can change that."<br>Dean nodded, pulling Castiel off his feet after a few moments of comfortable silence.  
>"Where to?" Castiel asked, glad to be rid of the silence and tension of their discussion.<br>Dean laughed a little, a hint of nervousness in his tone. "We didn't get to have dinner last night. I owe you a meal." Dean responded. Castiel nodded as he was pulled along, but he protested.  
>"Don't do it because you have to." Castiel told him, and Dean didn't turn as he responded, not knowing if it was what Cas wanted to hear, but it was certainly what he wanted to say.<br>"I'm doing it because I want to." Dean said, and with the ease of Castiel's tightened fingertips, he knew he had accepted that.  
>"Dean... Could you... Let go?" Castiel asked carefully, and Dean halted in his walk, after closing the door of the house.<br>He stuck his tongue between his lips as a way of wetting them, a nervous habit.

"Yeah, uh... Sorry." He said quietly. There was a pain in his chest as he released Castiel's hand, the fingers slipping through his own. They both head down to the impala.  
>"It's fine." Castiel said as quietly as he could once he was seated in the passenger seat. Dean cranked up the radio dial, allowing Metallica to carry out of the speakers on full blast. Castiel didn't mind; it was a way of blocking out the static between them. He wouldn't prefer this type of music to do it, but he was accepting of the hardcore and classic rock that Dean enjoyed.<br>To be honest, he preferred a slower rock and roll pace. Piano was great too, but maybe he just disliked it because of the volume Dean usually kept it at.  
>Dean glanced over to Castiel occasionally, a motion that didn't slip past Cas' notice. He had also been sneaking peeks, and he had noticed Dean's mouth moving animatedly along with the lyrics. Same old Dean.<br>Castiel wiped his brow again, and he could only wonder why he was sweating. He held a hand by the AC vent. It was blowing cool air. It wasn't a cold sweat since he wasn't nervous or afraid...  
>He passed it off as nothing.<br>He watched the impala bouncing above the speed bumps, and felt every jolt. They had pulled up to a diner now, and he gladly accepted the idea of food. He was starving.  
>The car came to a stop, and the music cut off as Dean pulled the key from the ignition, opening his door almost instantly and getting out. Castiel did the same, though as he stood, he felt sick. He was extremely dizzy, the world swimming before him. He began to literally see double, and he almost fell back, catching himself on the car door.<br>He almost fell down again as he steadied himself, and the nausea became overwhelming. He shook his head in an attempt to clear it, yet it only made it worse.  
>"Cas?" Dean asked suddenly as he watched Castiel stumble around as if he was drunk on the other side of the car.<br>"I'm fine!" Castiel said. "I, uh-" he looked down at the ground, a slight relief to the dizziness. He spotted his converse and an idea popped into his head. "-My shoes were untied."  
>Dean knew that Cas usually double knotted his shoes, and that he almost never had the problem of his shoes becoming untied, but he allowed it to slide. Maybe he had drank his troubles away last night like Sam obviously had.<br>Castiel swiped at his forehead again, looking around the parking lot as he closed the door. He must be getting sick, since he had gotten more than enough sleep last night.  
>Dean followed him into the food joint, placing themselves down at the tables. Meg, Sam's coworker approached them.<br>"Dean, where's your brother? I've had to pick up four and a half of his shifts recently, and the manager is still considering placing me on another one! What the hell?" She asked, the notepad in her hand on her hip, an obvious sign of annoyance in her.  
>Dean looked up at her. He never liked Meg. She was always an asshole. "His girlfriend just passed."<br>This was the first time Cas had heard of this, and he gasped a little at the sudden news.  
>Meg chewed the inside of her lip. "I'll do two more before I make him come back. And if he doesn't, he'll get fired. That's three days."<br>Dean rolled his eyes. "Two cokes." He said, disregarding her warning. She ground her teeth together in annoyance, leaving to retrieve what he had requested.  
>Dean smirked, one arm hooking around the back of the booth, the other tapping a rhythm on the space between his kneecap and thigh. Castiel was staring out the window, and Dean watched as he wiped his brow. He was looking out across the street at some sort of sign, and Dean adjusted his posture as he leaned forward, trying to get a closer look at Castiel.<br>"Cas. You okay?" He asked, and Castiel turned his head slowly, with a deliberate slowness. He nodded, just barely. "Dude... are you _sweating_? Is it a headache or something?" Dean guessed, genuine worry on his face.  
>"No." Cas muttered, watching a woman pack her crying child into a stroller and past the window, most likely heading to the grocery store. <em>Teen pregnancy is ridiculous<em> he thought with a frown. "It's just hot in here, I guess." He told Dean, and then wiped at his forehead with back of his hand again, and Dean realized that there were small beads of sweat on Castiel's face and neck.  
>"Hot? It's not hot in here. It's like... What, 76 maybe?"<br>Castiel's eyes seemed to drift in and out of focus as he stared at him. "Then I don't know." He said. "I'm most likely just a little sick." Dean looked at him with obvious distrust, though he allowed Castiel to pretend to be fine. Meanwhile, he kept an extremely close watch on the boy across from him, hoping he wouldn't projectile vomit across the table. If he was going to barf, he should use Meg as target practice.  
>As he thought about this, Meg had brought drinks along with her glare and nasty words. "You're lucky the manager was right there or I'd have spit in yours." She spoke in a low voice to Dean.<br>She glanced over Castiel's way, seeming to notice him for the first time. "Is he okay?" She asked in a mumble, watching him sway back and forth, his hands in his lap, with a blank stare on his face.  
>Dean directed his attention away from Meg, to Castiel, whose head slammed against the table.<br>Dean reached over, shaking his shoulder. "Cas." He said.  
>The boy shook along with Dean's hand, but didn't move after that. "Cas." Dean repeated, a urgency in his tone. He shook him a little harder this time, and yet he didn't get up.<br>Dean was standing, pushing past Meg and on Castiel's side of the table now. He lifted up Castiel's head, holding his face in between his hands. His jaw was slack, and his eyes shut. He moved only where Dean's hands forced him to.  
>"Cas!" Dean shouted out. He held a finger to his wrist, trying to feel for a pulse.<br>He held his breath, hoping he wasn't imaging things. Cas wasn't dead. He wasn't. He just fucking couldn't be.  
>The faintest flutter of a pulse gave him hope, and he realized, feeling a little stupid, that he had put his fingers in the wrong place. He felt relief swarm through him.<br>He wrapped his arms around Castiel's legs and torso, carrying him out to the impala in a hurry. He was running as quickly as he could with Castiel resting in his arms.  
>He had practically thrown Castiel into the backseat, laying him out, not sure what was going on. Why was Castiel acting like this? He hadn't bumped his head, had he?<br>Dean pressed on the gas pedal with his right foot, sending the car into full acceleration mode as he headed straight for the hospital. Meg had been silent, not sure what to do except say 'he's not sleeping, asshole' which hadn't helped much at all.  
>Dean eyed the signs around the road. To be honest, he'd never had to go to the hospital except for when Sam had broken his arm when he was younger. Other than that, he had been a relatively healthy child within a relatively healthy family.<br>He followed the green and white street signs down to the emergency lot of the hospital, cutting the engine and carrying Castiel in as quickly as he could.  
>"Hey. Hey!" He called out to one of the passing emergency medical responders.<br>They stopped, turning to him. Seeing Castiel in his arms, he helped him to a room on the second floor.  
>A doctor was with them in seconds, directing the nurses to hook him up to the heart rate monitors, and he turned to Dean.<br>"Symptoms, possible cause?"  
>Dean rambled on a list. "Sweating randomly, it looked like he was dizzy, tired, and uh- he was shaky I guess."<br>The doctor narrowed his eyes. "Drugs?" He asked suspiciously, and Dean shook his head quickly.  
>"Never." Dean answered, and the doctor could tell he was being honest.<br>"That's all I need to know." He said, turning towards Castiel. He handed a clipboard to a nurse. "Go run these symptoms under data check. List all possibilities and bring it back to me."  
>The nurse rushed out of the room, only stopping to ask Dean to leave. Of course he didn't listen, leaning against a wall in the back, wanting to help Cas, but unsure as to how he would.<br>People milled about the room, shouting about getting Castiel on an IV now, and the only thing that kept up Dean's hope was the small beeping noise. The continuous, even if uneven, heart monitor beeping, signifying that fact that Cas was still alive.  
>"We're losing him!" Someone shouted, and Dean stood off the wall, his hands at the ready, though he had no idea what to do in this situation.<br>A few of the nurses, as in four or five of them, had to attempt to restrain him while the doctor removed the defibrillator off the wall.  
>Dean's eyes were filling with tears. "What the hell is happening?" He shouted, pulling against the people's arms that attempted to restrain him. His eyes fell on the heart rate monitor, a flat green line by now. He had seen this in movies and on TV, but this wasn't really happening. It wasn't actually happening to Castiel.<br>The doctor rubbed the two meal plates together, slamming then into the chest of Castiel's unmoving body, the constant _eeeeeee_ of the heart rate monitor killing Dean.  
>"No! Stop!" He shouted, his throat scratchy and arms straining as they were pulled back as another medic joined the struggle. He wasn't sure why he was trying to stop them. In a more calm state of mind, he'd know they were trying to help him, but he didn't want anyone touching Cas at that moment. "Cas!" He shouted out. Castiel's body jumped from the table every time an electric pulse hit him, and the doctor had a determined look on his face, but it wouldn't help Castiel to be determined. What mattered was if he could get him back and breathing again. He quickened the pace of the emissions, tossing it to the floor and pumping Castiel's chest, as the heart monitor gradually had begun beeping again. The nurses would have clapped like they did in TV dramas, except for the fact that everyone in the room besides the doctor was holding back Dean.<br>Cas coughed, blood spilling over his lips and into his chin, neck and chest. It stained his pale face, and Dean wanted nothing more than to take away the pain.  
>The medical staff released Dean, all of them stretching out their arms and panting from the struggle. Dean rushed over to Castiel's side, taking relief from the heart rate monitor once more. He was still a sobbing and shaking mess as he grabbed Cas' hands, watching the blue eyes stare around the room like a newborn.<br>Castiel's eyelids moved, and Dean smiled as he found that blue again, one that no one could truly describe. He smiled, though he couldn't stop the raining of tears that continued in an uneven stream.  
>Castiel sighed with a smile. "What happened?" He asked, trying to remain positive. He looked up to Dean, pressing the happiness into him. He squeezed his hand as tightly as he could, though Dean could barely feel the change in pressure.<br>He knew what happened, didn't have to ask. Dean went to hug him before he was pulled from the room. Castiel attempted to sit up as a security guard dragged Dean out, though he was too weak to do so. "Dean!" He called out in surprise and sadness. "Cas!" He called out, their fingers slipping from each other's grasp. Castiel began to cough up blood again, but he kept his eyes open and he forced himself to continue sitting up, his arm still outstretched, the other being freckled with blood as he tried to cover his mouth as he hacked up the red fluid, his face growing paler.  
>The doctor moved to block Dean's sight from Castiel unintentionally, speaking to Cas while he leaned around the doctor, not paying attention, to look at Dean as he was pulled into the elevator.<br>"Why can't I be in there?" He protested, banging a fist against the elevator door in frustration. "Cas is in there and-"  
>"Sir, if you don't calm down, well have to escort you off of hospital grounds." One of the guards spoke up, stepping off the elevator behind Dean. He decided to be quiet, not wanting to have to be thrown out yet. He chewed on the inside of his cheek, frowning, bouncing his knee up and down.<br>Castiel... What the hell had happened? He didn't bring a laptop everywhere like Sam, so it wasn't like he could research the symptoms. Besides, they had been almost identical to the flu or a cold, maybe a fever. Well, besides the fainting, the exhaustion, and the death...  
>Dean wiped at his eyes to ensure the tears were gone. His head hung down, his eyes scouring the linoleum flooring. What the hell was happening up on the second floor right now? Was Castiel dying? Was he in pain? What sort of sickness or disease or whatever was killing him from the inside out?<br>Dean's knee was bouncing furiously, the ball of his foot pushing his leg up and down at a rapid pace. He looked around the waiting room, sick people waiting for a hospital appointment. He was tired, especially not having had a moment of sleep last night. He was staring off into space when his eyelids fell, and he drifted to sleep.

Castiel played with his hands, not sure what else to do when a doctor tells you this sort of thing... What was he supposed to say to Dean? He watched his heart rate monitor, the only sure sign his heart was still racing.  
>The doctor placed down his clip board, moving to gather up a small bag, one Castiel identified as an IV bag.<br>"This will help. It's a combination of medicines able to hold back your predicament." The doctor seemed to recall Dean as he lifted his clipboard and turned to the door. He spun on the sole of his shoe.  
>"What should I tell the young man out there?" He asked.<br>Castiel shook his head. "Tell him later. Tell him..." He seemed to think about it. Telling Dean he was dying... Telling Dean about this sort of thing, something he'd stop at nothing to end...  
>He held back his tears, swallowing constantly to hold it back as he heard the small quiver in his voice. "Tell him-"<p>

**(No, I didn't forget to add the ending of his sentence. It's called _S_u_s_p_e_n_c_e)**

**"*Starts to cough up blood*" Told you guys that you'd get it later :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's note: I added a little room number in there for you Sherlockians ;)**

**Other than that, here's the story I promised. Castiel's choice of words for the doctor that you heard of last chapter will be revealed at a later chapter huehuehue...**

The doctor he had seen in the hospital room previously gently shook Dean awake, his head hung on one of the waiting room chairs. He raised his head, rubbing at his eyes when he remembered what had happened. He stood instantly, a feeling of dizziness overcoming him, and yet he ignored it, more concerned about Cas.  
>"Doc? What happened?" He asked in a frenzy, and the hospital doctor sighed unhappily, leading him directly outside of Castiel's hospital room, 221B.<br>"Your friend, Castiel... He's contracted the plasmodia parasite."  
>Dean nodded as if he understood, then shook his head in confusion and concern. "I'm sorry, what? Plasma-dee-what?"<br>"The plasmodia parasite. He has malaria."  
>Dean had heard of malaria before, and he was almost sure it was a deadly disease. He waited in anxiety as the doctor continued.<br>"When Mosquitoes carrying malaria bites her victim, she injects the parasites into the bloodstream, which then migrate to the liver as well as other organs and incubate. It's very uncommon in America, although not unheard of." He explained. "Castiel hasn't shown any symptoms since a mosquito bite that may have occurred a few weeks ago. Symptoms usually show up around that time."  
>Dean shook his head, denying it. "But he'll be okay, right?" He asked desperately.<br>The doctor sighed, rubbing his forehead. "There are no effective vaccines known by medical engineering that can effect malaria. As for medication, he can take anti-malarial drugs, but not for long. Long term use can cause extreme side-effects."  
>"What about treatment? He'll survive!" Dean realized he was shouting and reminded himself to be silent the next time he spoke.<br>"Doxycycline, atovaquone, proguanil, mefloquine, and primaquine. We've been injecting it into his bloodstream, and yet there have been no changes."  
>Dean silently cursed. "It's only been a day!" Dean protested. "How can you be sure-"<br>"That the drugs will work? We aren't. Malaria is resilient. It's become resistant to most of these older drugs, so there may be no point in keeping him on them."  
>Dean wanted to rush in there and protect the cure in Castiel's body. "You can't take him off the only thing that can save him!"<br>The doctor shook his hands. "No, you misunderstand. We're still going to keep him on those drugs and hope for a change, but there is another drug we can administer. Unfortunately his health insurance doesn't cover it."  
>Dean grabbed the doctor's arm. "What is it?" He asked frantically. "I'll pay for it. What the hell is it and how much is it?"<br>"Artemisinin. This drug is most likely to be able to cure him, but it's over two-thousand dollars for treatment. It's too expensive, with such ingredients-"  
>"Nothing is too expensive for my Cas. When do I need to have the cash by?" He asked, and the doctor took a clipboard from a passing nurse.<br>"I have to go, but he only has a few more weeks to live. Maybe three, hopefully four."  
>Dean sighed. "But how can he be killed by a frigging bug? A single mosquito?"<br>"A single mosquito can wipe out an entire population."  
>Dean's heart crushed at those words. He had been bitten the same night Cas had, the night of Valentine's day, when they had gotten in the argument and Cas had stormed off. Why wasn't he the one in there?<br>A single mosquito can wipe out an entire population.  
>Then why hasn't it killed Dean? Why was he standing and Castiel suffering?<br>A single mosquito can wipe out an entire population.  
>But he wouldn't let it take Castiel.<br>He slammed open the hospital door. Castiel was wide awake, flickering through the assorted and limited television stations. His head snapped over to the door way as he stormed in like he was a single man police raid.  
>Dean crossed the room quickly, sitting down on the bed next to him, taking Castiel's hand into his own. "You're okay?" He asked, and Castiel looked to him sleepily.<br>"I'ma liddle jug- vug- drug..." He slurred, trying to make himself speak correctly.  
>Dean could tell he was out of it, the drugs making him tired. "You should get some rest." Dean laughed, as Castiel seemed to be searching for where Dean's eyes were. The world was probably spinning all around him by now.<br>"Muh... Laria?" Castiel asked, seemingly upset, and Dean nodded. He felt the bite of Castiel's nails as he dug them into his skin in fear, as if holding onto Dean would be like holding onto life.  
>Dean looked up at the hospital television.<p>

"You want me to bring you some books? You can't even find a good soap opera on those things." Dean commented, and Castiel sighed as he lied back down and nodded.  
>"Lay…der." He stalled, laying his head on Dean's chest when Dean lied down, staring up at the bright hospital ceiling, thinking about the current predicaments.<br>"I'm going to make sure you get that artemisinin stuff. I'm going to get enough money. I'll get two jobs, skip school a few times for babysitting and yard work. Maybe I'll borrow it or get a loan..." He babbled on. "I'll steal if I have to, but I don't want you to leave me. Cas, we're family. We need you. I need you."  
>Castiel smiled against Dean's chest. "I neebd you doo. That z why-" he yawned, while stumbling over his words as if he was drunk. "Thad's why eye ell hang un." Dean had barely registered what he said, until he thought about it.<p>

_I need you too. That's why I'll hang on._

Dean smiled to himself. He may be drugged up, but that was some poetry right there.  
>The distant beeping of the monitor slowed a little, and Dean freaked out, getting ready to call the nurse in, until he realized that Castiel had fallen asleep, the drugs having that effect on him.<br>"G'night, Novak." Dean mumbled into Castiel's ear, holding him tightly for a moment before finally releasing him. He wriggled out from underneath Castiel, although it pained him to have to leave and risk sparing the time Cas had left.  
><em>What the hell did you just say Dean? Time left? He has years ahead of him. He'll live past eighty, I'll make sure of it.<em> He told himself angrily.  
>He was out of the hospital quickly and upset, climbing into the impala and slamming the door. It was dark out, and a few ambulances were parked outside the hospital, lights flashing. Dean pulled out of the parking lot and towards his first chance of saving Castiel.<br>He was going to Lucifer.

Dean entered the filthy club, each and every object seeming to be covered in some sort of nasty disease awaiting a victim. He was careful not to step on any of the discarded crap across the floor as he approached Lucifer, who held a cigarette in his right hand, puffing smoke through a smile as he turned Dean's way.  
>"Dean! Want one?" He asked, holding out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. He grinned knowingly, though how he could possibly know about his deal with Cas was unknown to him.<br>Maybe this was why he was called Lucifer. He tempted Dean into taking the cigarette, but Dean refused, recalling his promise to Cas.  
>"You sure? Your little virtuous angel isn't here to stop you." He encouraged, releasing a puff of smoke with a happy sigh.<br>Dean smacked away the box so that it landed on the floor. He tugged the cigarette out of Lucifer's mouth, flicking it to the ground and treading it into the ground. "I'm here to make a deal." He said as Joey stood from retrieving the packet from the ground, tucking it into Dean's coat pocket with a smile, though Dean hadn't seemed to notice.  
>"What's in it for me?" He asked, intrigued. "I'm interested."<br>Dean thought about what he had. He needed money, so that wasn't an option. Maybe a favor?  
>"What do you want? I need cash." He mumbled.<br>Lucifer cackled. "Why? Are you that poor? That you came to me for money?" He continued to laugh, doubling over.  
>Dean picked him up by the back of his shirt, holding him close to his face menacingly. "Cas is in the hospital, and he only has around 3 weeks left. I need two thousand dollars by then or there's no chance." He spoke angrily, and Lucifer cracked a smirk.<br>So Dean cracked his nose.  
>He shot up his right hand, decking Joey directly in the face.<br>"Shit!" He cursed, holding his hand to his bloodied and slightly crooked nose.  
>People around them looked on as a peanut gallery, and a few looked away after a glare from Dean.<br>Lucifer looked down in disbelief at the blood on his fingertips, and he felt the warm liquid drizzling from his nose.  
>"I'll do anything to save Castiel. Now what the hell do I need to do for money from you?" Dean asked, clenching his fist. He spotted a small speck of Joey's blood on his knuckle, wiping it off quickly and disgustedly onto his jean leg.<br>Lucifer smiled a little, pretending to be fine after the punch. "Your soul." He said, and Dean was surprised he was able to joke after his nose had most likely been broken. "Or if you could help me get revenge on that bitch Tori and her little 'Mikey'" He said with a sneer. "They have unpaid debts." He said distastefully.  
>Dean nodded, knowing that Lucifer was trustworthy, at least when making a deal. "Fine. Revenge first I'm guessing?"<br>Lucifer laughed a little. "Even I'm not that much of a dick. Make sure they don't get their placement as prom queen and king and I'll be fine. That should be good enough. Oh the looks on their faces when you destroy their perfect record." He smiled cruelly, imagining the anger and disappointment they'd have in themselves and each other.  
>Dean nodded, though he wasn't entirely sure as to how he'd convince the school to not vote for the most popular and powerful couple on campus. "Fine. Pay up now then."<br>Lucifer pulled out five a hundred dollar bills, as if he had been prepared for this deal. They were folded up neatly, and Dean pages through them to ensure there were indeed five hundred bucks.  
>513 dollars in his wallet, he left the club, not bothering to thank Lucifer, and avoiding the drunk women that danced on him, attempting to seduce him. He didn't bat for that team anymore.<br>He kept his winks and smirks to himself. Castiel's eyes-only. He couldn't wait to see his face change color again, instead of a sickly pale, and so he hurried to go and see the next person to help.  
>It seemed like I would be impossible to convince her, impossible to ever hope that she'd trust him... But Hannah was his only option. She hated Dean, but Castiel was her friend. She would help, right?<p>

"No! You'll probably spend it on some sort of drug deal! Why do you care about Castiel? You've made him stray from his virtues and turned him to sin!" Hannah said angrily, her fists clenched by her side.  
>Dean allowed her to fuss, waiting patiently until the fire of rebellion died from her eyes and voice. "Cas is in the hospital with malaria. He needs this medicine. He has three weeks to live."<br>He felt angry and frustrated tears forming in his eyes as Hannah still refused to believe him. Didn't she care about Cas? "You don't think that I care about him? You don't think that I have enough to deal with without your fucking bullshit?" He shouted.

_Don't kick her ass. You don't hit girls, Dean unless they want to hit you. Don't hit her, don't do it, it's Castiel's friend._  
>"If Cas were hurt, he'd call me. He'd want me to visit him in the hospital." She said indignantly, and Dean had to wonder why he hadn't told Hannah. Possibly because Hannah didn't know about their relationship, and Cas didn't want her to find out like this.<br>Dean accepted her distrust, but he didn't show it. He spun on his heel and stomped away from her door.  
>He almost tripped when he turned, and he hoped Hannah had already closed the door so that she wouldn't have seen it.<br>He climbed into his impala, head hung. What was he going to do now? Getting a job wouldn't get him money fast enough. There had to be another way.  
>His dad still had all that alcohol in the fridge, and Dean had a few things he could sell at a pawn shop.<br>Before anything though, he had promised Cas a few books. He drove the few blocks from Hannah's neighborhood to theirs, and he spotted Castiel's mother approaching her car. She looked up in distaste at the car, nose scrunching up as if she was looking at something that caused a foul odor.  
>"Dean." She said with a hint of her obvious disliking. She looked him up and down. "Where is Castiel?"<br>Dean was slightly alarmed. "The hospital didn't...?"  
>"Call me? If that was their number, then I hung up the multiple times they dialed. Now what about a hospital? I haven't got all day." She tapped her foot against the ground with impatience.<br>"M-malaria. Castiel has malaria. I've been trying t-"  
>"Nice, very nice. If you'll excuse me, I have a rather important business trip to attend to. Since he won't be here, take care of the house, will you? Obviously he's too lazy to." She said, leaving him with frustrated tears attempting to push their way out. What the hell was wrong with this chick?<br>She reached into her bag and produced a small stack of money. "And of course here's payment for house sitting. More than enough, I hope." With that, she stepped around to the other side of her car, closing the trunk over her suitcase. "Tell Castiel to come home as soon as possible. I don't particularly like the idea of you in my house, but if I must, I prefer it be as short lived as possible. Remember to get the mail. And water my azaleas, would you?"  
>Dean didn't even bother to stop her. She cared about her son in the strangest way. Enough to hate him and be disgusted by him, but enough to want him happy. Dean stuffed the $637 into his bag. She was probably planning to do something else with that money, and yet she had given it to him as an indirect way to pay for Castiel medical bills. If she had known it would be two thousand, she most likely would have paid it off in full, but it was too late for that, as she was half way down the road now. She had played it off as paying for him to 'house sit', and yet by the worry hidden in those dark eyes, he saw she didn't want the money to go anywhere except to Castiel. He accepted that fact. It would have gone to him anyways.<br>Dean turned back up towards the house, sighing. Why did this have to happen to Cas? He had been bitten that night too. Why wasn't he the one sitting in that bed? He would have accepted Death's arrival, and yet in this case, Dean was doing anything he could to stop it.  
>He tried the knob, and the door swung open effortlessly. She was most likely expecting Cas to come home soon, although he wouldn't show up for at least 3 weeks. Dean crossed the foyer after shutting the door, tromping up the stairs. It felt empty and uninviting in Castiel's room, where Dean had always felt safe.<br>Now Castiel wasn't with him. Instead, he was sick and dying in the hospital, all because Dean had lied about a stupid thing like cigarettes.  
>If he hadn't pissed off Cas, they would have been at that stupid dinner, and Castiel wouldn't have stormed out if the car. If Dean hasn't been such an idiot, he could have kept one of the most important people to him safe. Instead he let Castiel fall like this into a hospital bed, in pain with no hope.<br>_I'm a sick bastard_. Dean told himself. _Screw me._  
>He grabbed books at random, retrieving Castiel's phone charger out of the plug beneath the nightstand.<br>Sitting in Castiel's room without Cas felt like admitting he was dying, and so Dean practically threw himself down the stairs in an attempt to get away from the desolate house.  
>Dean put Castiel's things in the passenger seat, and reached into the back to retrieve his trench coat. He draped it over the seat beside him, speeding off towards the hospital, where he would most likely spend the night.<br>Dean pulled to a slow stop at a red light, regretting not having sped up. He would have skipped the light if the lady in front of him hadn't been so slow.  
>He watched the cars turning and going forward, and his mind wandered. If he couldn't get this money, then he was working with time away from Castiel for nothing. Cas only had two more weeks, but what if he didn't even make it that long? What if the disease took his life before then? That meant that Dean had wasted his time with Castiel.<br>He couldn't wait to get to the hospital, and he knew he'd be reluctant to leave no matter what.  
>He needed to get this money. He wasn't going to let this chance at saving Castiel pass.<br>_And if the drug didn't work?_  
>Who cares? He'd whoop malaria's ass. He'd create his own drug, find all the ways to remove malaria. Try to get a surgeon to remove the parasites.<br>He'd do anything, and although it hurt him to think it, he'd even sell the impala if it meant saving Castiel.  
>Like two pieces of a puzzle, Dean felt that he couldn't live without Castiel. Life was impossible without him. He wanted to spend his life with Castiel, get a house somewhere other than this run-down town. They'd go somewhere special, where they could get married legally. Maybe they'd adopt, though he wasn't too thrilled with the idea of a small child running around, screaming and breaking things… maybe a dog would work better.<br>He barely noticed the light shifting green, and when he did, he sped off. He wanted to tell Cas what he wanted, didn't want to have to hide his emotions anymore. Although he didn't want to become someone weak with little emotional boundaries, this was something he wanted Castiel to know, a reason to fight, and to hope.  
>Dean was pushing the speed limit like always, and he almost stomped on the gas pedal as he passed a cop car. He was obediently 5 miles below the limit before the squad car turned the corner. Then he pushed the accelerator.<br>He cranked up the radio, blasting Metallica through the car. It worked to calm him, and he arrived in the hospital parking lot as Kirk Hammet finished up his last guitar solo. He cracked down the radio volume, stepping out of the car with quick steps. Of course it was starting to darken outside, the time was around seven, and Dean hoped he'd be able to stay the night, even after visiting hours.  
>He entered the hospital, not even bothering to go ask someone the room number. He had remembered it, 221B. He wanted to take the elevator, but a large group currently occupied the only one in the hospital.<br>He sighed, leaning against the wall of the hallway. Taking the stairs would be faster, but he wanted a chance to think through what he was going to tell Castiel. How does one tell another that they can't live without them, if he didn't want to sound like he was relying on Castiel, even though he really was? He didn't want to get emotional like one of those movie dramas you saw where "true love" and "soul mates" came into place. That wasn't what he was feeling. It wasn't something else entirely, something far more than what people call "love at first sight", because he knew for a fact that it had been complete bull shit.  
>It was confusing, and his mind was muddled from the stress and lack of sleep. He listened as the elevator traversed down the shaft, and heard the quiet bing as it hit the floor he was on.<br>He took a step away from the wall, watching as a few men dressed in white rolled a body bag out of the elevator.  
>Dean shivered. Whoever that was probably had family who missed them. He felt a sudden stab of fear when he thought about Castiel ending up like that, a lifeless and cold body in a bag that people would look at with sympathy while it rolled by on a table with wheels. In fact, what if it <em>was<em> Castiel? He hurried into the elevator, urging it to travel faster as he pressed the second story floor button repeatedly.  
>Dean pulled his jacket closer to him in the cold hospital. Even the elevators smelled like antiseptic and rubbing alcohol, not to mention the overwhelming scent of germ-x.<p>

"Intensive care"  
>That was the name of the unit of the hospital Castiel was boarded in. He was suffering this crap in an IC unit, and Dean couldn't shake off the knowledge that it was his fault that Castiel was here.<br>He gently tapped the door with the knuckles of his right hand, opening the door a crack to peek in. Castiel looked over with sudden interest as he saw Dean in the door way.  
>"Dean!" Castiel felt weak as he did so, but he pulled himself off the bed, kicking over the covers excitedly. He rushed into Dean's arms, meeting him half-way across the room.<p>

He had just received the news from his doctor. Maybe he had been a little too 'optimistic' when estimating his time to live. As of right now, those three weeks had become only one or two.  
>Dean smiled, resting his forehead against Cas', oblivious to the hidden factor.<br>"You okay?" He asked, holding Castiel by the shoulders as he looked him over.  
>"I'm fine." Castiel nodded, and Dean planted a welcoming kiss on Castiel' lips, sending his happiness through it. He ran his hands through Castiel's hair, missing the feeling.<br>Cas looked weak, but he was alright. For a fleeting moment he felt as if Castiel would be fine, and yet the feeling of the hospital linen clothes alerted him that Cas was still sick, stuck in the hospital for recovery.  
>He broke sort the kiss, reaching down to the floor to pick up the bags he had dropped. He smiled. "Brought you those books."<br>Castiel grinned excitedly, almost like a child, and he led Dean to the bed.  
>He looked to Dean and he seemed to just stare for a moment. "What's wrong?" He finally asked, sensing that Dean had something hidden from him.<br>"Cas..." Dean began, not knowing how to start. "I don't want... I don't want you to die."  
>Castiel frowned. "I should hope not."<br>Dean shook his head. "I mean, I want you to live, so that... We can live together." He said, turning away, his face red.  
>Castiel eyes widened a fraction, and he looked to Dean in surprise. "What do you mean?"<br>Dean smiled a little, looking up at the blue eyes that caused him pain and pleasure all at once. "I'm asking if you want to marry me."  
>Castiel laughed nervously. "D-Dean, I'm only 18..."<br>Dean shook his head again, blushing. "N-no! I mean... Well- you- I mean... You don't have that..."  
>Castiel's face fell. "I know. I'm running out of time." They were both silent for a while, taking comfort in each other holds. <em>Do we have to talk about this right now<em>? Castiel asked himself, but he knew they did. As of right now, he not had a week or two left unless there was a miracle. He couldn't tell Dean about the shortening of time, yet.  
>"Dean, I might live. I mean there's still that medicine, right?" He knew he was lying to himself. The Artemisinin drug came coupled with the ability to cure or not cure, and if it did cure him, it may still take the toll of death as a side-effect.<br>He knew that the lie was etched into his voice, easily heard by even the most gullible person.  
>Dean looked to Castiel, the obvious marked in his eyes. "The medicine... It won't work?" He asked, and he couldn't hold back the tears that flooded his eyes.<br>Castiel looked down at the white hospital bed sheets in shame. "No! It's just… I don't know."  
>"Cas." Dean croaked. "Please." He didn't know what he was begin for, but he didn't want Castiel to continue.<br>"The artemisinin drug might not be administered in time." He watched something fall onto the bed, and he wasn't sure if it was Dean's tears or his own.  
>Dean tried to choke back the sob that fell from his throat. "Cas, I-" he couldn't finish. Tears were running down both their faces, and Dean shook his head, pulling out his wallet.<br>"No, Cas. This medicine, it has to work! Look, we're so close!" He dumped the money onto the bed.  
>Castiel looked down at it, knowing death would come to him either way.<br>"Dean, the doctor told me I only have about a week. Even if I get the medicine, it would have to be tomorrow. There's no way you can save me."  
>"No, Cas please don't say that. Please don't say it, please."<br>Castiel looked up to meet the eyes that gave him life. He had never seen these many tears in them before, yet now as he looked at the watered eyes, he knew they had always been there, even if hidden. "I don't want you to leave me. I need you, Cas. I..." He choked back another sob as he tried to speak, and his breath hitched as he took a breath. "Castiel, I love you. Please don't leave me."  
>Castiel was surprised, and his fist balled up a bunch of the sheets.<br>"I don't want to die, Dean." He said, his voice trembling. That was the first time Dean had ever said 'I love you', and it sure as hell broke down his emotional barriers.  
>"Cas, you don't have to. There's a way... There has to be a way..." Usually Dean was the realist and Castiel the optimist, but with the little chance of his recovery, Castiel knew there was only one way for his life to go.<br>"Dean, before I die-"  
>"Cas, no. No, don't say you'll die. You won't, I'll make sure. I'll get the rest of the money, I did the math, and we can get the money for the medicine. We have over a thousand and I-"<br>"Dean." Castiel spoke in a calm and soothing voice, and his palm met warm tears as he held Dean's face in his hand. "Dean. Don't try and save me. I'm too far past saving."  
>"N-no." He said, refusing to believe it. Angry tears roiled down his face, mixed in with the sad ones from the thought of losing Castiel.<br>"Dean. I love you." He said. His lips parted to grant a smile, and yet Dean didn't accept that grin. He didn't accept that false happiness. "I don't want to die, but no matter what you do, you're wasting that money to try and save me."  
>"No, no, no, hell no!" Dean shouted, grabbing Castiel's hand, practically throwing it back down on the bed. "I'm going to do the research. I'll find this stupid drug, and in going to make sure I get it to you. Your doctor will have to accept my money. He'll give you it, and you'll get better."<p>

Castiel smiled sadly. "You're like a child." He commented. He had grown paler during their conversation, and Dean realized how much only speaking weakened Cas. He was being fed off by the plasmodium parasite, and his energy was low enough to the point where standing for too long would knock him out.  
>Dean quieted, watching the cold sweat that broke over Castiel's hairline, and he shook his head.<br>"Cas, I'm sorry. You need to rest. I'll sell all my shit if I need to, but I'm getting you that cure."  
>Castiel tried to retaliate, but it seemed that he didn't have the energy to.<br>Dean left in a rush, but before he did, he gave another kiss to Castiel, attempting to absorb the pain and send him hope and faith. "You know I don't believe in god, but if he's out there, I want him to help you." Dean said, leaving Castiel's belongings in the chair beside his bed.  
>"I'll be back soon." He promised.<br>"I'm sorry, Dean." Castiel said as he left, and Dean was confused for which part he was apologizing for.  
>Did he mean to apologize for not telling him about his time left sooner?<br>Did he want to say he's sorry for not being hopeful like he should?  
>Or was he apologizing because he was going to give up?<p>

The door closed behind Dean, and Castiel was once again left alone in the hospital room. He could barely stay conscious, the drugs making him woozy, not to mention the amount of energy he'd exerted in simply speaking and standing.  
>His eyes shut as he thought.<p>

_What is it like to die?  
>Will I go to heaven?<br>Will I see Dean again?_ He hoped not too soon, desperately wishing that Dean wouldn't think about committing suicide just because he'd passed.  
>Castiel threw the covers over him, but because they were cold, they did nothing to fight off the chill in the room.<br>Who would watch over Dean? He had lost most of his friends after leaving the football team, even Nicholas betraying him. He'd have nothing but his brother, though his brother was bound to leave for college soon, leaving Dean with his dad.  
>Even John could tell that Dean didn't want to be left by Sam. 'Sam is going on to a successful career while you're sitting around here with no hope for a job higher than that of a waiter' he would say. 'You're older than Sam. You should be the one providing for people. I wanted you to protect Sam, not throw a sad attempt at following in his footsteps'<br>Castiel rolled over, fingers grasping the trench coat. He held it close to his face, inhaling. It still smelled like Dean. Like the leather of his jacket and the upholstery in the impala. Like a sweet beer, but not too strongly a smell of alcohol. The very faint, but still ever present scent of Dean on general, one that couldn't quite be described. Like honey from a bee combined with tree bark and leaves, a soft tinge of maple and a little bit of cinnamon, possibly vanilla. Those scents were indistinguishable in the combination that created the distinct scent.  
>Castiel sighed into the material, hoping the nurses wouldn't insist to wash it. He wanted this here, a reminder to at least have a small recognition that there was still that 1%, that small, insignificant chance, that the drug could save him. Maybe a miracle would occur. He couldn't be sure, especially since he wasn't a doctor and, to his mother's disappointment, didn't plan on becoming one.<br>Maybe someday he'd become a famous politician, a governor, a judge, perhaps he'd run for president. But that day was not today, and he was going to have to rest if he expected to keep up with Dean's next visit, apparently 'soon'  
>He allowed himself to doze off, trying to forget those sad green eyes.<br>That sort of hope would be crushed in a world like this. Place your trust in the universe, and you're destroyed.


	9. Chapter 9

Dean waited in line at the pawnshop, completely impatient. He wanted to sell this shit and soon. He had taken around a week to scavenge every possible thing of value he could get rid of, and today was the day that he sold it all. It probably wouldn't be enough to get all the way to his goal for Artemisinin, but he had other ways of attaining the rest of the money. As of right now, he had exactly 1,192 dollars in his pocket, not to mention the amount of quarters, dimes, nickels and pennies he had found on the ground and around his house.  
>Much to Castiel's pleasure, he hadn't stolen anything or mugged anyone, although he was planning on it if all else failed.<br>The line moved forward a step, and he almost groaned out loud as he spotted plenty of space in front of them, and yet the person in front of him refused to move forward yet.  
><em>There's at least 3 feet of space there! Move your ass before I do!<em> He shouted in his mind.  
>The bag seemed to get heavier every minute he waited, as finally he was at the front of the line, waiting for the person in front of him to pick up their bags and go.<br>As soon as they left, he shot a dirty glance their way and was disappointed to see that they hadn't seen.  
>He crossed to the counter, placing the trash bag full of things into the counter. "Looking to sell." Dean said, not sure how to state that he wanted to get rid of it all for money.<br>The pawn man nodded, pulling things out of the bag, writing something down each time that he examined one of the items.  
>Dean leaned over just a fraction to see that the man was writing out possible values for the items, and the total would be how much he paid.<br>The man looked up. "For the lot, around 500 dollars. Lot of stuff in here, eh?"  
>Dean nodded, not really paying attention until he said 500. "F-five hundred? Are you sure that stuffs really worth it?"<br>The man looked confused for a second. "Eh? Sorry, but were you..."  
>"No, I wasn't complaining. I was just... Never mind. I'll sell." The man nodded, opening up the register and counting out the agreed upon amount.<br>"Why do you need all the cash?" He asked casually, trying to pick up a conversation.  
>Dean was hesitant, not wanting to sound that broken about it.<br>"My boyfriend is in the hospital with malaria." He said, and he tried to hide his sadness and replace it with bravery. "But he'll be fine."  
>"Malaria, eh? Sorry. Must be hard. Is this for medicine?" The man asked as he handed Dean the crumpled paper.<br>Dean nodded, and he felt a shiver run down his spine as he thought about the time he had left. 1, 692 dollars and counting.. He only had until tomorrow to get the money to the doctor, just like Cas said. If he didn't get it in by then, there wouldn't be enough time to get the drug into Castiel's system. Even if he turned it in a second after midnight, especially due to the mass amount of preparation and such that would take twenty four hours on its own.  
>Dean exited the shop, nodding to the pawn man. He climbed into his impala, cold again without the usual company of Sam and Cas inside.<br>He didn't listen to music, a rare occurrence for him, but he'd rater focus on getting his ass quickly to his next stop.  
>Lucifer. Although he cringed at the thought, Joey needed help. He had promised to pay the rest of Castiel's medical bills if he did this weird job. Why did Lucifer need help on this sort of thing? Why was he concerned about it, anyways?<br>A few miles off of the main road, Dean pulled into a truck stop, where he'd promised to meet Dean.  
>As soon as he pulled up, Lucifer was stepping out of the cover of a gas station. "Dean!" He called, acting as if they were good friends. "You got my voice mail, right?" He said in a low voice.<br>"Yeah, you needed help with dating?"  
>Lucifer smiled knowingly, shrugging. "Actually it's more of getting a crazy obsessed bitch off my back. You'll see." He went to sit in the passenger seat, but Dean locked the door before he could.<br>Lucifer rolled his eyes, climbing into the back seat on the left side of the impala.  
>"Watch the door." He told him, and Dean's eyes traveled to the glass automatic door system at the front of the gas station stop.<br>The door slid open, a girl with blonde hair stepping out. Dean didn't know why, but he hated the girl almost immediately.  
>The girl looked around as if she had lost someone, then went to look into each car in turn, then coming across the '67.<br>She smiled brightly when she saw Lucifer inside. "Joey!" She said, all smiles, but Dean sensed a cruelty about her. She was knocking on the window, a toothy and seemingly innocent look on her face.  
>Something was off. She had a certain look about her, as if she was innocent and kind, yet she also looked like she would laugh at someone else's pain. Maybe it was her eyes, the dark and wicked topaz ones that scanned Dean through the open driver's window.<br>"Hello. I'm Lilith." She said, smiling and holding out a hand.  
>Dean rolled up his window.<br>"Who is this chick?" He asked Lucifer as she persistently tapped on the window closest to Joey.  
>"I don't know. She acts like we're all buddy-buddy. She's trying to be a little annoying bitch and get on my good side." He bet, watching her knock on the window and peer in. Dean doubted that Lucifer even had a good side.<br>"So you want me... To get rid of her?"  
>Lucifer laughed. "Don't kill her. That'll be my pleasure." He joked. "I need you to stage something that makes me look like a total bad-ass. Something to scare the little shit."<br>Dean considered. "I've got a thousand six hundred ninety two. Do you have payment?"  
>Something hit the passenger seat and Dean leafed through it as slowly as possible, torturing him, while Lilith tugged on the locked door, as if confused as to why Lucifer was ignoring her.<br>"Dean." He warned, and he watched the green eyed boy carefully as Dean unlocked the front door, stepping out.  
>"Hey." Dean called, and Lilith turned to smile at him sweetly, though there was a certain... Menace... Behind her eyes, hidden with an innocent face.<br>"Hi, what's your name?" She asked, almost too happily.  
>"Don't have one." He said sarcastically, his dislike still strong for her. She frowned for a moment.<br>"Do you know Lucifer?" She asked, and Dean decided to ignore her question.  
>"Joey thinks you're trying to get on his 'good side'" Dean used air quotes to say the last part.<br>Lilith looked sarcastically towards Dean. "You look like someone who'd be Joey's bitch." She laughed, and Dean heard that sort of cackle in a person who seemed good, but turned out to be the villain at the end of a movie or video game.  
>Dean rolled his eyes. "Why don't you ask him where he got that black eye?" Dean raised his hand a bit, to reveal that it was he. "And his crooked nose? I knocked it out of place when he was being a dick at a club."<br>Lilith looked down at Lucifer. "Pathetic." She muttered, and then turned to Dean with a smile again. "So, I'm guessing that you could take on Joey in a fight?"  
>"I beat his ass already. He hurt Cas, and I hurt him." He felt annoyed by her now, as if only a give minute period with her would be the end of it.<br>"Do you like to beat people?" She asked, intrigued. "Who's Cas?"  
>"Not unless I have to." Dean responded. "Cas is... A friend..."<br>"Oh." Lilith said, seemingly disappointed. "Well I have to go now... Goodbye, Dean." She turned towards the car window, where Lucifer was examining his fingernails. "Goodbye, Lucifer."  
>Dean didn't ever remember telling her his name, but he passed it off as nothing, guessing Lucifer had told her at some point.<br>Dean opened up the back door of the impala, jerking his thumb behind him. "Out." He said, but Joey stayed in place.  
>"I told you to make <em>me<em> look badass. Bloody yourself up and walk out stumbling and crying…" He complained, and Dean pointed outside the car again.

"Who said I didn't want to see Castiel? Wanted to make sure he's okay." He laughed, even though he seemed to be serious about wanting to go see him.  
>Dean's thumb moved again. "Not a chance. Move. Now." He said again, but Lucifer smiled up at him, completely relaxed and not intending to move. He even buckled up for show.<br>"There's something you don't know about us, Dean. I think Castiel hasn't told you yet, but..." Lucifer looked up at Dean, hoping for a good reaction out of him, and so he was quiet, building up the suspense.  
>"Cas wouldn't hold anything back. Whatever you're going to say, he either told me already, or it's a lie." Dean said, annoyed now. He didn't have time for this.<br>Joey seemed to laugh as he looked down at his hand, studying something as he smirked. "Oh, I'm sure you'll be surprised." His hand dropped back to his side as he looked up at Dean, amusement written over he face, and his arms crossed.

"Castiel is my brother."


	10. Chapter 10

The hospital was crowded today, many people waiting in line to check on their families and meet a doctor. Many people coughed occasionally, but that was expected in any crowded room, especially when most of them were diseased.  
>Now that Castiel was close to death, he felt sympathy for those who were in his and Dean's position. Suffering through a whole lot of shit just to make it out alive.<br>As soon as Dean stood in front of the counter, he asked for a doctor Cain, the man he had spoken to about the Artemisinin.  
>"Doctor Cain? I'm sorry, but he's not in. His wife recently passed. Doctor Ellen will be able to help you."<br>Dean sighed. "Is she on the second floor?"  
>The nurse nodded, and he sat back down on his receptionist chair. "Next!" He called out, and Dean left for the elevator.<br>"What'd they say?" Lucifer asked, catching up to him, though not showing much worry in his face. More like a vague interest.  
>"They didn't say anything about Cas. I'm going to see this doctor chick first. I want to get the medicine as soon as I can." Dean responded.<br>The small jolt of the elevator as it lifted off led them to being carried up the elevator shaft and onto the second floor.  
>Dean didn't bother looking at door signs anymore. He had memorized 221B's location precisely, and he tapped on the door like he always did, opening it a crack.<br>A nurse was by Castiel's bed, attempting to make him eat some sort of gross hospital mush.  
>"Dean Winchester?" The nurse asked expectantly, and Dean nodded.<br>The nurse smiled, but as she passed, she leaned in next his ear. "Try to make him eat, would you?"  
>Dean didn't respond.<br>Castiel's eyes had lit up as soon as he heard the four taps on the door. He looked up at Dean with glad eyes, and he was sitting up, supporting himself with his elbows, although they were shaking under the struggle of sitting up. He looked thin, and Dean sighed, pulling open his jacket. In the pockets were two bulges, and Dean pulled them out individually, tossing them to Castiel.  
>White Castle burgers.<br>Castiel smiled happily, resting his head back against the pillow. He unwrapped one, taking a large bite as if he hadn't eaten for days. "Thank you, Dean." He said after swallowing.  
>Dean nodded, fiddling with his necklace, one from Sam a few years back.<br>Dean waited patiently for the doctor while Castiel rambled on and on about the poor conditions of the hospital restroom and cafeteria.  
>Lucifer hadn't even come into the room yet, and Dean thought he knew why. If Lucifer was right about this, then Castiel and him were on the worst possible terms.<br>Lucifer, beating his brother into the ground, multiple times. Lucifer, ensuring that Castiel had the place of biggest loser in the school, an object of everybody's taunting.  
>They hated each other, and Dean could only guess at what had started their feud.<br>Castiel was looking slightly annoyed, and so Dean shook his head, clearing his thoughts. "What's wrong?" He asked, and Castiel huffed.  
>"You're not listening." He said, and Dean apologized.<br>"Now what were you saying?" Dean asked, and Castiel pointed. Following the direction of his gesture, he saw Lucifer standing in the doorway. He seemed genuinely concerned for his brother, yet at the same time he looked like he wanted to say something mean or be a dick again.  
>"What's he doing here?" Castiel asked angrily. "He said that you drove him." He said accusingly.<br>Dean rubbed the back of his neck. "Cas, he's family. He wanted to see you. I know you guys don't like each other, bu-"  
>"Don't like each other? He tried to kill me on multiple occasions! He broken arm for fun when I was eight years old!" He shouted, and he seemed to regret it. "Dean, I just... Lucifer and I are brothers, but Dad kicked him out when we were younger. After that, we grew apart. Then he decided to start being an assbutt to me, and now..."<br>Dean sighed, rubbing his forehead. "Well I've always had an okay relationship with Sammy, so I thought you guys had at least some care for the other's well being."  
>Lucifer had left the doorway sometime during their conversation, and Castiel looked visibly relaxed. He had obviously forgiven Dean, but he still had I wonder what Lucifer had to gain by showing up here in the first place.<br>"Oh, and Cas! I have the money! As soon as the doctor hurries their ass in here, we can get you the Artemisinin!" Dean looked excited, and hopes radiated from him; hope to be able to save his family, as well as his future.  
>Castiel studied his face. Dean looked so happy, as if the answer to saving Castiel was in the palm of his hands, and yet he didn't have the guts to tell Dean that the drug wouldn't do anything for him.<br>Castiel was dying.  
>Hell? Heaven? Who knows... He had been as good as he could, but a sin couldn't be avoided in everyone's life.<br>Dean was already on the highway to hell, so Castiel wouldn't want to be up in Heaven forced to know that he was suffering. He'd rather be stuck in hell and heaven together, and yet he'd quite possibly be stuck in a 18 year old body for eternity, while Dean would grow old, probably marry someone and have children, and Castiel couldn't stand the thought.  
>"Hey Dean." Castiel started, hesitant at first to ask the question that had been burning his mind since Dean had showed up a week ago.<br>Dean looked up. "Yeah?"  
>"Remember last week when you asked me..." He trailed off.<br>Dean smiled knowingly. "Castiel. You planning on saying yes?" He asked, and Cas smiled.  
>"Maybe." He said. "I wouldn't marry you now, but I would promise to. I, Castiel Novak, promise that I'll marry you someday." He laughed. "That sounded stupid, I'm sorry."<br>Dean cracked an award winning smirk, his eyes filled with happiness. Did this mean that Castiel wouldn't accept death? "I, Dean Winchester, promise I'll make sure you marry me someday." He copied, taking Castiel's hand in his own. "Cas, I know it's weird for me to ask that, but life without you seems... I don't know, I guess it's like when there's a really important character on a show. And if they died, the show would lose everything. Money, fans. Same with me, though I don't have a lot of cash, and I sure as hell don't have a fan club. I just can't imagine life without you, you know?"  
>Castiel smiled a little. "I know what you mean..." He sighed. "I jut met you this year, but I can't see myself being happy in the future, unless you're a part of that future."<br>Dean's face was colored with a light pink, and Castiel laughed with triumph. He had finally made Dean blush!  
>Dean averted his eyes. "Let's not make this a gay romance movie." He said, and Castiel mimicked his earlier words.<br>"_I just can't imagine life without you_." Castiel said in his best Dean impression, a deep voice that sounded fake.  
>Dean smiled. "<em>I can't be happy unless you're a part of my future<em>." Dean said, obviously much better at copying Castiel's voice than Cas was of Dean's.  
>After a while if comfortable silence, them staring up at a scripted-reality TV show, the door opened.<br>"Dr. Ellen." The blonde woman introduced. "Are you Dean Winchester?" She asked, to which Dean nodded. "Great. Someone said you needed me?"  
>Dean pulled out his wallet. "I need Artemisinin." He said, and the doctor laughed a bit.<br>"Er, I don't deal drugs to people." She said, but Dean pointed to Castiel.  
>"It's for him." He said, and she formed a small 'O' with her mouth before taking the money. "Artemisinin, you said? So you have Malaria?" She asked Castiel, and he nodded.<br>He looked pale and fragile, and Dean felt ashamed that he had added such energy to the conversation.  
>The doctor looked down at her clipboard. "How are you alive?" She asked suspiciously. "You haven't eaten in the past week and a half." She said, studying his face.<p>

Castiel shoved the White Castle burger wrappers further under his sheets, worried she would see them. "There must be some mistake..." He said, feigning ignorance.  
>"Hmm." She said, inserting the money Dean handed her into a manila envelope, and leaving the room to fetch the medication.<br>Dean sighed in happy relief. "It's happening, Cas, it's really happening."  
>Castiel laughed. "Yeah, I guess so."<br>_This is it._ Castiel realized.  
>"Finally. After all that shit, we're going to get you better."<br>"Yeah."  
><em>This is the end.<em> He thought.  
>Dean seemed to so happy as he blabbers on about what he did to get the money, elaborating on the punch he gave Lucifer at the club.<br>Castiel was going to die. In three days. That's what the doctor had said. Three days after today without the medicine and he would die. Even though the medication was here, it couldn't save him. There was less than a 20 percent chance of that happening. There was no way. He laughed blindly along with Dean.  
>Maybe Dean was right. He was a realist after all. There could be a 1% chance that saves him.<br>There could be a miracle.  
>Castiel smiled and laughed along with Dean at the right times, saying yes to almost everything and pretending to celebrate.<br>He was worried.  
><em>I don't want to die<em>... He thought. He had promised Dean to grow old with him, to live in a house somewhere where the sun could reach the living room, and wake them in the mornings. Somewhere they could call home, and die with each other, acceptant of their oncoming deaths. After all, natural causes were better than not-natural.  
>Castiel had barely registered that the doctor had come back, and now Dean held his hand while his elbow was tied off, preparing for the shot.<br>The doctor used rubbing alcohol to clean up a space, and Castiel cringed at the smell. He hated shots, although with the needles stuck in his arm right now, he didn't have room to complain.  
>The cold metal came closer to him, and Dean grasped his hand as it went in.<br>"I'm not a child, Dean." He said as he released the breath he had been holding in. He watched the latex gloved hand push into the syringe, the clear liquid making his arm go cold. It must have been refrigerated, judging by how cold it was.  
>The needle was removed and a cotton ball placed over the blood, tied off with bandage as if he had just had his blood drawn.<br>The doctor nodded, completed. "If it begins to itch, swell, or if any inflammation occurs, contact a nurse immediately. There may also be minor side effects, which you should attempt to adjust to." She recited, and it was obviously something she's had to tell people before. She dropped her clipboard on the way out the door and bent down to retrieve it. "You can be discharged from the hospital in about three days, Mr. Novak."  
>Castiel nodded, but he didn't utter a thank you. He laid back on the bed, adjusting himself to the point of lying down.<br>"Dean, can you throw these away for me?" He asked Dean, handing him the burger wrappers.  
>Dean nodded, taking them from Castiel and walking across the room to place them in the trash bin. He crossed back to the bed, leaning against it, a smile on his face.<br>Castiel had peered at him out if the corner of his eye, and was now interested in what had Dean smiling. "What?" He asked, and Dean answered with a small kiss on the lips and two words.  
>"You're okay."<br>Castiel couldn't bring himself to do more than lift his lips in a fake grin. He couldn't bring that lie and false happiness to his eyes.  
>Dean took notice, but he chose to hope that Cas was just tired.<br>Instead he laid back on the bed with Castiel, shutting his eyes as he wrapped an arm around Castiel.  
>"I love you." Dean said quietly. "And I'm sorry."<br>"Oh hell no." Castiel said. "Dean, you're going to go into some rant about how everything is your fault, how I got this crap from a mosquito that was caused by you, then if I die, it's all your fault somehow, but you know what? It's not. None of this shit is your fault!" He said, unable to control his rant. He wasn't about to let Dean-  
>Dean had just said something.<br>"What?" Castiel asked.  
>"I said that I know." Dean responded.<br>Castiel looked to him in a mix of surprise and confusion. "You... You're not going to...?"  
>Dean chuckled, though there was nothing humorous around. "If I apologize, even if it was my fault, you'd do what you're doing now. Protecting a man who doesn't deserve protection."<br>He kissed Castiel sweetly. "I'm already lost... I'm probably going to hell."  
>Cas kissed him back, curling up so that his head rested on his shoulders. "There's still time to change that." He said, but Dean sighed, and Cas could feel him shaking his head.<br>"I'm too far past saving." Dean said, staring up at the white peppered ceiling.  
>"You don't think you deserve to be saved?" Castiel asked with confusion. Dean, of all people, deserved everything to be handed to him on trays made of diamond, especially after all the shit he's gone through and was working for.<br>Castiel's hand rested across Dean's sternum, his fingers spreading wide over the black t shirt. "I'll save you." He said, after Dean hadn't responded to his question. "I'll save you, no matter what."  
>The door creaked open, ruining the moment as a nurse entered. "Young man, it is far past visiting hours, and you should not be in bed with a patient! Out, before I call security!" She shrilled as Dean gave Castiel a quick kiss before rushing out the door, the nurse glaring angrily after him.<br>Castiel smiled as his face pressed into the pillow. He could hear Dean's heavy footsteps running down the hall, and the nurse's heels clicking as she went to get security, although Dean was already running.  
>Castiel sighed, releasing a large breath before falling into a dreamless night sleep.<p> 


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's note: This has to be my favorite story out of all the one's I've written, so I'm sorry to see it go ;(**

**This is one of my last chapters. I'm thinking I only have 1, _maybe_ 2 to go. I might do a third as an Epilogue for you guys though. Tell me what you think about an 'After the Fact'(Epilogue) Chapter?**

**I've loved this story, and I'll definitely miss all of your kind reviews :( I'll try to make the next chapters extra long for you guys though.**

The hospital door moved just barely, enough to the point where Dean could see inside the room, without giving away that he was there. A nurse was talking to Castiel about medical terms and such, and as she spoke, Dean entered the room.  
>It was far past visiting hours, something he and Castiel both knew as they locked eyes. Dean was glad to see happiness spread across Cas' face in a grin, and he hurried to hide himself in the linen closet as silently as he could, hoping for the nurse to not notice him as she began to leave.<br>"Thank you, miss...?" Castiel implied the question, not sure that he had caught her name. He had also wanted to stall her to the point where Dean was completely concealed in the closet.  
>"Nurse Naomi." She said with a strange smile, her heels clicking against the linoleum as she turned off the light in his room per departure.<br>"Dean." Castiel whispered once her footsteps had faded. He was waiting for his eyes to adjust to the darkened room, and he jumped a little as a hand rested on his shoulder, and something weighed down his bed. He hadn't even heard the closet door open and close.  
>"Cas? You alright?" Dean asked. "I snuck you this." He placed something in his lap, and Castiel was glad to find that it was another food item that the hospital had banned. He smiled, thanking Dean as he attempted to unwrap the food as quickly and quietly as he could in the dark room.<br>"Sorry I'm late." Dean apologized, and he was glad to find that his eyes had adjusted to the lack of lighting. He could now see Castiel's face more clearly. "What's the news?" He asked casually, though hope and excitement was bubbling inside him.  
>"Nothing." He mumbled. "I've been here for a while now, but nothing new has happened, except one nurse's child lost its first tooth, and another's sister is visiting from Vietnam. So exciting..." He said, his sarcasm and lack of true excitement emphasized.<br>"So... You know that medicine? The artemisinin? Has anything happened yet?" He asked, trying to hide the obvious fact that he was overwhelmed with hope.  
>Castiel's face seemed to be the opposite reaction of Dean's expectations as his face fell, and spoke a soft and almost regretful "oh"<br>They were both in silence, Dean confused and Castiel seeming to prelude that he was going to have to tell Dean something important.  
>"Dean, I-"<br>"Don't." He cut in, shaking his head as Castiel began to speak, his morbid tone scaring him. "Don't tell me you're dying or anything."  
>Castiel shook his head rapidly. "N-no! I'm not... I mean, I- never mind. It's about... The artemisinin."<br>He sighed a breath of relief. "Okay. So... What about it? Is it working yet?" He moved himself so that he was more comfortable as he sat on the hospital bed.  
>Castiel averted his eyes, and he knew the only way he'd get this out was if he could do it in one go. He looked up to the green eyes, forcing himself to watch as the green eyes drained of the last bit of happiness Dean had.<br>"Dean, the medicine has an... Extremely small chance of actually saving me." He said, wincing as Dean searched for words, his breathing uneven as he realized what Cas was saying.  
>"So... The doctor lied?" He asked, urging Castiel to say yes, that there was nothing else behind it. "The doctor lied, right? There's another medicine out there that can save you, right?"<br>Castiel's blue eyes were searching the white hospital sheets for an answer. "I... No... Not exactly..." He took a deep breath, and when Dean didn't respond, expecting an explanation, he continued. "The doctor told me about all the possible ways to save me. Artemisinin was created to cure Malaria, yes, but it isn't even above a fifty percent chance of a success rate. The doctor told me he wouldn't recommend it, because it could end my life as easily as it could have cured it. I... I told him to tell you about it, and to not give anything away about the chances of... You know."  
>Dean had stood in the middle of the confession, his head in between his hands, and his feet carrying him in a rapid pace around the room.<br>"No, Cas. I don't know. I don't know about the chances of anything." He looked up to Castiel. "You lied to me. You fucking lied to me. I sold my shit and took extra jobs, and barely ate anything, saving all of my money for this moment. Hell, I had to work with your brother! Remember, _the one you didn't tell me about_?"  
>Castiel's eyes were wide as Dean said this, surprised and hurt. "How did you-"<br>"Lucifer told me. Instead of the person I trusted most in this shit planet, _he_ told me." Dean turned away from Cas, afraid of what was going to happen, to Cas, to himself, to them in general. "I know why you hid the medicine bullshit from me, I get it, but you shouldn't have. What I don't understand is why you didn't tell me about freaking Lucifer!" He crossed his arms, pissed, and he attempted to lower his voice, knowing that he'd soon be shouting.  
>"You think I want him as a brother? He beat my ass right in front of you! I don't exactly call that a 'brotherly bond'!" He huffed, wishing he could do more to turn away from Dean then twist his body uncomfortably in the hospital bed and cross his arms.<br>"You made me... Happy, Cas." Castiel was surprised by Dean's quiet voice now. "It made me happy to know that there was a medicine that could save you. Then I find out it was all a bullshit lie." He shook his head, laughing in disbelief. "I know you did it to protect me, but I would have done it anyways. I mean, yeah, I lied to you about smoking, okay? You know if I was in the hospital, I wouldn't make you spare every expense you could to get me a medicine that could do nothing for me except kill me faster! I'd never do that to you, Cas. I wouldn't be able to face that fake hope. I felt that, and now I find out that you… That you…"

"It made me happy." Castiel whispered, and Dean turned towards him with surprise on his face and his mind was completely blocked with puzzlement. "What did you just say?" He asked, spinning on his heel and moving toward Castiel.

He looked up, meeting the shining eyes in the dark. H swallowed back the tears in his throat, but as he spoke, his voice cracked, and tears poured over his face. "It made me happy." He repeated, though loud enough for Dean to hear now. He looked over to his nightstand where he found a small notepad. He was writing something down as he spoke to Dean. "It made me happy to see you filled with that hope, Dean. Each and every time you smiled and said that you had more money for the medicine, each time you became more and more happy. You were a lot more glad than you would have been if there wasn't a cure, and you actually smiled. Yeah, you worked your ass off for nothing, but you were happy while doing it. Every time you grinned about something I knew was fake… It made me feel like it was just that more real." He looked away from the pen and notepad, tears streaming down his face. "I loved it Dean. Because I love you."

Dean hadn't moved, and he hadn't spoken. He could feel each tick of the clock, each breath between them, and each and every pound of his own heart that marked the time. Other than those motions, his world seemed to move in slow motion, close to not moving at all.

He had gotten back to the bed, hugging Castiel tightly, who was frozen, almost shocked by Dean's reaction. "Cas…" He sobbed. He had never cried before, but now as Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean, he felt each and every shake and tremor that traveled through his body as he cried.  
>"Cas… I'm…" He sputtered, tears leaking out of his eyes, and Castiel shut his eyes. Dean was crying? He took the time to realize their situation. They had nobody beside themselves in the world. Their parents weren't close to them at all; their brothers both gone; all their friends betraying them or hating them; Castiel dying in a hospital bed. He was leaving Dean alone in a world with nobody. His life at school was ruined since meeting Castiel, and there was no hope he'd be able to recover from this whole ordeal. Cas had thought he'd grow old and have children with a nice woman, but no… Dean was scarred from his childhood, and this entire problem wasn't helping.<p>

So here, this broken child broke down even more, crumbling in this one person's hold.

"Cas, I'm so sorry." He cried out, and Castiel began crying as well, unable to control his fear any longer. He was dying… He was leaving Dean behind. He was losing everything that he cared about most.

"Cas, I want to save you." He said, his arms squeezing around Castiel tighter.  
>"Dean?" Castiel asked quietly, and by the steadiness of his voice, Dean was surprised to find him crying as he pulled back to meet his gaze.<p>

"I don't want to die."

The doctor was right. There was only about one week left on Castiel's life, and multiple medical professionals had confirmed that. Unless there was a miracle or medical breakthrough, he could die.

They were trying to live life as normally as possible. The doctors had released Castiel from the hospital, and now he was free to go home, though on his last day, he was to report to the hospital for… the end.

Castiel thought about this as he watched the lights of the city turn on. They were on their way to the school, Dean smiling and rocking out to Warrant as they sped down the highway, 10 pm coming soon. They were late, yeah, but Dean had made a promise to Castiel.

Cas leaned over, turning up the music, and Dean grinned as he glanced at him out of the corner of his eye. They had sped by the different street signs at top speed, and were soon approaching the school grounds.

He took a sharp turn into the school parking lot, rolling down his windows. The music coming from his car echoed across the school parking lot, just like most other cars had done. It was a tradition at Freewill High school; to show up the night of prom with music pounding, full blast, and open windows.

People had just started arriving, even though the night had started half an hour ago. Dean cranked down the music as he turned off his car, Castiel rubbing his ears and complaining about the volume his speakers were capable of.

His ears were ringing as Dean waited for him outside the car. Castiel took a deep breath of the cool night air, his head leaned backwards. He opened the door, kicking his feet out and following Dean.

Dean had worn a classic tuxedo, though his jacket was open, revealing the white shirt below. Instead of a bow tie, he wore a simple black tie.

Castiel hadn't dressed up as fancily as he could have, choosing to wear a simple white button down and a blue tie. Their clothes had been tossed in the backseat.

Tonight was his last night. Tomorrow morning he'd be administered to the hospital, for them to ensure his passing was painless.

He followed Dean into the school gym, laughing a little as he saw that a girl had already broken one of her heeled shoes.

They instantly went towards the back of the room, trying to spot out Lucifer from the crowd. "There." Cas pointed towards the food table, where Lucifer was seen pouring something into the punch. They walked over to where Lucifer was seen pouring the liquid into the punch bowl. Dean snatched the flask from him, taking a swig. "Whiskey?" He asked incredulously. "_Whiskey?_" He asked again.

He shrugged, a devilish smile on his face. "With a hint of Vodka. One glass and you're out." He laughed, pointing to someone who was getting a drink for himself and his date. 'They'll be having some sort of drunk sex in a dumpster in about 5 minutes."

Castiel rolled his eyes. "You're always like this." He muttered, and Lucifer glanced over to him with a strange glance.

Dean ignored the tension between them, leading them both to a point near the center of the gym. "Alright Joey. What are we doing?"

Lucifer looked around the dance floor, a sort of curious and calculating look in his eyes as he stared at each and every dance coupling. "There." He stated, nodding towards Tori and Michael, dancing to whatever Fall Out Boy music poured from the speakers. Tori wore a light purple dress, one that looked like if she moved her legs the wrong way, her entire ass would fly out, which was probably what she intended. Michael looked like he always did, trim and proper, his tuxedo in perfect condition, and his hair gelled to the point where it wouldn't be moving if you hit in with a jack hammer.

Dean nodded, signaling for Lucifer to continue. "Tori won't be hard to handle. A dress like that? Not a smart choice for someone who wants to be prom queen. As for Michael, I don't think we can mess up his hair, even if we ran it over with a freaking bulldozer." He considered. "Hmm…I know Michael is kind of easy to piss off at times. He has some sort of anger problems that we can use to our advantage, though I'm hoping he doesn't go all psycho bitch on us." He laughed, as it had happened before, but it wouldn't affect him.

Someone announced over the speakers that there would be a slower dance going on for the couples, and as if it was prepared for that exact moment, a song began to play.

"Can't help but falling in love with you" by Elvis Presley began to pour out of the speakers with a slow and kind rhythm to it, Tori wrapping her arms around Michael and dancing in a slow twirl and spin.

Lucifer rolled his eyes as he looked over to Dean and Castiel, both looking towards each other awkwardly. He groaned. "Go and have your fun. Whatever. Just… try to get Tori out, alright?"

Castiel nodded as he smiled towards Dean.

Dean was blushing again.

He placed his hands in Castiel's, leaning in to whisper. "What do we do?"

Cas couldn't help but laugh out, his cheeks tinged pink. "Anything we want." He said. Dean's hands rested on his hips, and so Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean's neck.

They began to move with the music, Dean blushing profusely as Castiel's head came to rest against his chest. They moved along, trying to get closer to Tori and Michael's dancing session.

Castiel leaned away from Dean for a moment as they passed. His hand reached out, poking out her right earring, glad that she hadn't put backs in the hook jewelry.

She grasped at her ear as she felt it falling, though it was already on the ground. She broke apart from Michael, and people backed away from the behind of Tori, mumbling and laughing as she bent down to pick up her lost jewelry.

There were a few flashes, and Lucifer came up behind Castiel, pulling him away from Dean, who looked a little pissed when Lucifer flashed him a cruel smile, twirling Cas around the room in a dance that allotted perfectly with the music. "Okay, Cassy. Up next, I want you to-"

"Why should I even listen to you?" Castiel said angrily, following Lucifer's footsteps as they moved further and further away from Dean, whose arms were crossed, and his foot was tapping as he watched them with close eyes.

Lucifer looked down at his brother, who had certainly grew more balls than the last time they met. Maybe Dean was leaving a good impression on him. "Because this is something both of you need done. I need you to get Michael to follow you up to the roof."

Castiel swallowed, choosing not to express his fear of heights to his older, and teasing brother. "What? I'm not going to bring him up there! He'll kick my ass just because no one's looking."

Lucifer shook his head. "No. You don't get it, do you? The only people that go up there together are couples. If people thought Michael was gay, then he'd become a hypocrite, and lose his position as captain of the football team. Get it now?"

He nodded slowly. "Okay… I can do that, I guess." Lucifer nodded, releasing him. "Don't tell Dean." He whispered in his ear before leaving him.

Castiel had no idea why Dean wasn't allowed to know, but now he spotted Michael in the back of the room. Tori must have gone to the bathroom to fix her dress and her earrings.

Castiel moved past the different people near him, cursing himself as he met Dean's eyes. Now he watched Dean trying to get through the crowd. Why wasn't Dean supposed to know anyways?

He sighed, choosing to follow his brother's plans. Castiel looked around for a quick way to grab Michael's attention.

He grabbed a cup of punch from a passing girl, moving towards Michael. "Hey, assbutt!" He spoke from behind him, and as Michael turned, he threw the cup, the red and alcohol-spiked liquid pouring over him, staining his clothes.

He looked towards Castiel angrily, a fire sparked in his eyes as people laughed all around them. Cas broke off into a run towards the stairway, which he could only hope was unlocked.

He could hear people being pushed aside as Michael ran after Castiel.

He had reached the door now, pushing on it. It opened with a click, and he sighed in relief, barreling up the stairs, attempting to take them two at a time without falling.

He heard Michael's quick steps following him upwards, and he could only hope that Dean hadn't followed them all the way over and up here, though if he saw Castiel being chased down, he'd probably be on his way to help.

Castiel broke out at the top of the stairway, panting. Michael burst through the doors shortly after him. "Castiel!" He said, and the couples that were indeed on the roof like Lucifer had said, turned their way.

Michael had grabbed Castiel, and his hands closed around his throat. Castiel struggled, clawing at his hands. What was Lucifer's plan now? Was this his entire plan? To see his brother murdered? It would definitely get Michael out of the competition. He felt a rush of fear. _This is why he didn't want Dean here!_ Castiel thought frantically.

There was only a very small passageway that oxygen flowed through, but it wasn't enough to get him breath, and it completely closed off as Michael tightened his hold.

There were various screams all around them, and now Castiel had fallen to his knees, choking, hoping for a single piece of oxygen to reach him.

_I love you, Dean_. He thought.

His eyes began to close, but then the pressure was released, and his eyes shot open, breathing heavily, choking down the oxygen, never so glad to have air in all his life.

He spotted a guy with long hair, and his instant thought was Sam.

Sam had pulled Michael off of him, and he now stood near the edge of the rooftop.

Castiel looked around, spotting Gabriel. That must have been who Sam was up here with…

He didn't have time to think about that. He tried to stand, but with the lack of air for so long, coupled with the disease, he was too weak to stand.

Someone burst through the door, and he looked up to see Dean, who had begun his way to Castiel.

Dean fell forward suddenly, tripped by Lucifer.

He looked up to him in surprise, and Lucifer knelt down, grabbing him by the collar of the shirt and punching him repeatedly.

Castiel tried to shout out, but his throat was sore, and he couldn't find the energy to yell. "Dean…" He managed, though it was barely above a whisper.

He reached out his hands, dragging himself towards them. He pulled himself along, managing to get his foot out to a sort of crawling position, though his knees were wobbly.

Lucifer had thrown Dean into the concrete of the roof, saying something to him, but with all the screaming and shouting and ringing in his hears, he barely heard anything. "Dean!" Castiel said, slightly louder this time.

Dean turned towards the sound. "Cas!" He cried out, and a foot slammed his head into the ground.

"No! Luci-" He was cut off, coughing up blood as he tried to call out for him to stop.

An administrator had burst through the door, a frightened girl pointing and shouting, obviously having led him here. He restrained Lucifer, while the girl tried to get Dean to stand up. He pushed her away, leaning against the wall. He looked over towards where Michael and Sam seemed to be talking about something, though their stances indicated something worse.. "Sammy!" He shouted out.

It all happened in slow motion. A deputy had come through the rooftop access door, pushing down Lucifer and handcuffing him. Dean had reached out a hand, watching helplessly as Michael pushed Sam off the roof.

Sam grabbed onto the shirt of Michael, both of them twisting and falling downwards.

"Sam!" Dean cried out, though there was nothing he could do. He couldn't move, he could barely shout.

Castiel's head hit the ground as he passed out, blood trailing freely from his throat and nose, and Dean was forced to watch both events occur.

People stood in a crowd around Castiel, and others peered over the wall, looking for any sign of movement from the two boys that had fallen.

Dean shut his eyes, tears pouring down his face as they dragged a cackling Lucifer out of the school.

Someone touched the side of his face, and he winced as it hurt the cuts and bruises.

"Dean." A soft voice whispered. Castiel's face was smeared with blood, his right sleeve stained with it, from where he had attempted to wipe it away. Castiel was kneeling beside him, and he fell, unconscious into Dean's hold. They both were crying.

Sam had sacrificed himself to bring down Michael, who had obviously been intent on killing someone. He had been pushed down, and had dragged Michael with him.

Sam was dead.

Cas was almost there.

And Dean wished he was.


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's note: *Dodges Chainsaw and 3 different types of blades* *Hides behind bullet-proof and nuclear bomb-proof shield***

**It's been a month. Maybe more? Holy crap, I've been really far behind... Please don't kill me?**

**Here it is, be happy! Or sad... I cried in the writing...**

**AnYwAyS... Tell me if you want 1 more chapter as a clean up. Otherwise, I might end the story here (It would be cute, and leave the ending up to your imagination)**

**By the way, I have a tumblr now: Superwholocked-on-fandoms**

**Have fun!**

"Sir, wait!"  
>The sound of footsteps trailed softly behind him, but he didn't stop. Questions burned his mind, pounding at his head, and the urge to have them answered drew him forward, as if there was a titanium rope wrapped tightly around him, pulling him closer and closer to the hospital room.<br>The medical staff behind him had given up the chase, and now Dean opened the door without knocking, but certainly with haste and caution.  
>Dean had been cleaned up nicely by the doctors. He hadn't needed any stitches, though he did have to have peroxide poured over the open cuts, and it had burned like hell.<br>Now he stood in the entry way to Castiel's treatment room. Cas' eyes were shut tightly, though he was screaming, and Dean was surprised he hadn't heard it before making his way in here. He stood in the doorway in utter shock and horror, medical team members fleeting about the small room, trying to get Castiel to open his mouth and cooperate for a breathing tube to go down his throat.  
>The boy on the bed didn't look anything like Cas.<br>He was pale, almost bleached white, and the usual pink tint to his cheeks was gone, replaced with a sickly white. His chin and some of his chest was covered in blood, and he was still coughing up more and more of the thick crimson liquid.  
>He was jerking around wildly, writhing in the sheets, and they couldn't seem to strap him down or contain him. Dean had only seen him a little while ago, and yet he seemed to have lost a lot of his weight in that time. It was as if touching the skin would break it and lead to bone and veins.<br>"He's entering a coma!" One doctor shouted, rushing to speak to the patient; to try to keep him awake.  
>"Cas." Dean said it in a voice just above a whisper, but when shaky and terrified blue eyes met green, he knew that the boy had heard, even through all the commotion in the room.<br>It was as if time had stopped in that one moment. As if the doctors were paralyzed in a frantic position, their arms, heads and legs, unable to move.  
>The only thing that mattered in those few seconds of peace were themselves. Dean had no idea what to do. He tried to take that moment to think up a plan, but there was nothing but those blue eyes, pleading for him to come closer and take his hand, to take the pain away. He was scared; he was terrified.<br>"What happened? What is he looking at?" Somebody shouted, and the moment was over. Pain beat against his chest once more like someone attacking a drum set, and he moved to Castiel's side, the doctors parting like the Red Sea for the visitor.  
>Of course it was unorthodox, but it had been proven that he was suffering from shock. Whoever this boy was, maybe a brother or friend or cousin, they seemed to help soothe the patient.<br>While he was distracted, the doctors strapped him down, though there was no point any more. He was calm.  
>Dean was handed a damp wash cloth, and with it, he wiped away the blood that pooled on Castiel's lips, chin, and neck. The blood on his chest had already soaked into the fabric of the hospital night gown, so there was no helping him there.<br>Dean leaned down then, and Castiel cringed away, apparently not wanting to disgust Dean. After all, he had just been barfing and bleeding all over himself. Now as Dean's lips came to rest against his, he accepted it, though he seemed too weak to put much effort into the kiss.  
>His eyes shut, and a hand came to wrap around Dean's. "I love you." He mouthed, unable to force air from his lungs. Dean smiled down at him.<br>"I know."  
>The doctors now pushed around him, and one pulled Dean off to the side. She seemed to be non accepting of his relationship, and slightly disgusted by it.<br>"Any information you can give me on what caused this?" She said, not looking at his face, but down at her clip board. Dean ignored her disliking of their relationship. Instead he looked over to Castiel as he reported to her.  
>"He already had the malaria. The doctors said he was making a healthy recovery." Tears flooded Dean's eyes as he recalled the good news, now seeing a hopeless cause lying on the bed before him.<br>But that was his hopeless cause.  
>"Then he was being attacked at a party. Choked." Ironically, Dean was choking back tears as he said the word 'choked'. He remembered the look of pleading on Castiel's face. Then he had been saved, only to be coughing up blood and whatever was in his stomach at the time.<br>_"Delicious." Lucifer had smirked, holding Dean by the hair on the back of his head, turning him, to the point where he was stuck watching Castiel, wrenching and writhing on the ground, and it was the choked out "dean" that made him lose control.  
>He allowed that hatred for himself to fill him. He hadn't even fought back. He let Lucifer beat his ass into the ground. So what if he died? Cas was dead, Sam was dead, Jess was dead.<em>  
>He was alone. His Dad was gone, and he hadn't heard from his 'Uncle' Bobby in ages. Everyone at school shunned him, and on any given occasion, would ruin his life forever. After all, in a town of devout Christians, no one would accept their sexuality, and the entire town already knew.<br>They wouldn't be able to get a job or a house or have any future at all. He knew he was ruining Castiel's life from the moment he pulled him into a kiss. Cas used to trust god for everything, but now he had committed more sins for Dean than anyone would have thought possible.  
>Now he stood in the hospital room, his hands shaking violently as he signed off that he was a guest on the woman's clip board.<br>"One more question." She prodded. "Was it just the fact that he had suddenly been choked that set off the shock? Because he's completely gone... He's pre-comatose."  
>Dean watched Castiel, his breathing even, and it seemed strange to see the tube down his throat, helping him breathe.<br>"The one who was choking him wasn't any one he cared about... But... His brother had watched it happen. He was laughing." Dean clenched his fists. "He had planned for it to happen, and for my brother to jump off that roof."  
>The nurse looked up at him in either sympathy or pity for a moment, then down at her clipboard.<br>"Oi! Winchester? Brother of Sam Winchester in room 201?" She tapped the pen on the clip board, signifying that she had his papers with her. "He fell off a roof, too."  
>Dean nodded solemnly. Why hadn't he forced himself to get up and save Cas and Sam? He could have done both, but instead he let the pain get the better of him.<br>"He's fine, you know." She told him, trying to sympathize with him, although she wasn't comfortable being around a gay man.  
>She left in a hurry, and one of the doctors who were tending to Castiel looked over to him.<br>"Mr. Winchester, was it?" At Dean's nod, he continued, fiddling with his stethoscope. His inexperience in a medical emergency like this one definitely showed through his nervous habits. "You might want to sit down..."  
>Dean shook his head, his mind swarming with thoughts. Was he dying? Falling into the coma? Was he going to discuss Sam's condition?<br>The doctor sighed regrettably. "We don't know if Castiel will make it." He said, studying Dean's face, wincing already, as if he expected to be lashed out at.  
>It was kind of funny. The doctor had said the words, but it was a joke about Cas dying. It was kind of funny.<br>Dean laughed, bursting into laughter and doubling over. "Damn you almost had me there, doc." He said in hysterics. His mind was blanketed. Laugh and hide… Laugh and hide…  
>The doctor approached the topic seriously, and deep in Dean's mind, he knew he wouldn't be able to deny this for long.<p>

What was that one song lyric? _Conceal, don't feel…_  
>Dean's laughter subsided immediately. "You said it yourself. You don't <em>know<em> if he'll make it. If you don't _know_, then he could live. So fuck waiting around for him to die! Where's the Hallmark card that says '_not_ sorry for your _not_ loss'? I'm gonna celebrate! You _don't know_!" He said, and he knew that he sounded insane, that he was thinking too much about a small statement, but he could be optimistic for once, right? Especially if it would make him happy for the last few hours that Castiel had... He pumped his fists into the air, but they fell, along woth his expression and optimism almost immediately.  
>"How long?" Dean asked, cocking his head to the side as he watched Castiel breathe on the bed.<br>The doctor seemed surprised at the bipolar craziness that Dean was now, and seemed shaken by the sudden mood swings, opinion swaps, and sudden topic changes, but he recovered quickly and responded, "until around noon tomorrow. If you waited an hour, we could give you down to the minute."  
>Dean nodded, looking towards the tile. He studied the perfectly polished linoleum. "I hate the smell in here." He complained in a quiet voice, and the doctor ignored him, leaving the room to test the blood samples collected from Castiel's veins. Had he actually had enough blood to give?<br>As soon as the doctor left, Dean sat on the side of Castiel's bed, in a small armed sofa-chair.  
>He put his head in his hands, and broke down into tears. His entire body shook with each shaky breath that he took.<br>How long was this going to continue? Would he have to suffer like this forever? Would Cas and Sam both die, and leave Dean alone with nobody but his dad?  
>He shut his eyes, taking Castiel's hand in his own.<br>"Cas. If you need blood, or a kidney, or my liver, or my freaking brain or left lung or something, you know that I'd give it to you. But what am I supposed to do if I can't even do that? If they won't let me, or if there's nothing I can do, then what should I do?"  
>He sat in silence, not expecting an answer, but he looked up as his hand was squeezed in periodic lengths and pauses, along with a few shorter squeezes. What was he doing?<p>

_Morse code…_ he realized, backtracking. S…T…A…Y…W…I…T…H…M…E…  
>Dean looked up to see Castiel smiling weakly down at him, his eyes halfway open, his lips almost the same color of his parchment skin. He was surprised that he had managed to hear Dean's question and respond. Of course it hadn't been an oral response, but he had most definitely given him an answer…<p>

Did he really want Dean to stay after all the shit that they went through? Maybe he should just ditch him while he slept. Cas would wake up and it would all have been a wild ass dream…

N…O…D…O…N…T…G…O…

He felt the morse code squeezed into his left hand, and found that Cas had most likely read his fallen and doubtful expression.  
>"Cas..." Dean said in doubt. He then considered, nodding, and then choosing to remain silent as Castiel laid his head back down, letting out a crackled sigh.<br>He looked exhausted. The only color on his face was the deep shiny purple of the bags under his eyes.  
>He made a sort of grunting sound, as if he had tried to speak, and Dean could just barely make out Castiel calling out his name, though maybe it was his imagination and hopeful thinking.<br>"Cas?" Dean confirmed that he had heard, and he looked over to Castiel, who took a deep breath with a smile before falling into sleep.

Dean smiled, his hand tightening around the small and delicate hand that he held. He looked so fragile…  
>"Mr. Winchester?"<br>Dean looked up, surprised at the sudden voice. He wasn't aware that anyone had entered the room.  
>"Your brother is awake, and wants to see you."<br>Dean's muscles locked. He couldn't. He couldn't go see Sam. Sure, he wanted to know he was okay, and he damn sure needed to apologize, but he just couldn't. Sam had fallen to save Dean's ass, and Dean hadn't had the energy to save him, or to even call out to him.  
>He had sat there with a blank stare, watching as Sam fell down, bringing Michael with him. Sure, he had been hurt, but he could have at least done something to stop it.<br>He looked up at the nurse, shaking his head, but the sound of slowly moving sheets to his left made him turn he head.  
>"Castiel! You can't get up, sir!" The nurse protested, and he watched as the patient sat up anyways. It took a while, and was quite the struggle, but he eventually pushed himself up to atleast his elbows. He looked to Dean with a pleading stare, his eyes full of hope and pleading. Dean understood. If Cas could sit up, than Dean could see Sam again, no matter the struggle that it was.<br>Dean looked to the nurse, then back to Castiel. He sighed, standing. "You're lucky I like you..." He grumbled on his way out the room door, hearing Castiel falling back into the sheets after he left.  
>He walked down the hall with slow steps, and he spotted someone he recognized down the hall. He squinted, ensuring it was them, and quickened his pace, arms outstretched when he was close to them.<br>He hugged them, patting his back. "Bobby." He said, pulling back and smiling at the man he called his uncle.  
>"How are ya, Dean?"<br>Dean looked up at the older man, and his eyes traveled over to the door marked 'Sam Winchester'.  
>"Better than Sam, I hope." He patted Bobby's shoulder on his way into the hospital ward. His hand closed around the silver doorknob, and twisted, pushing in the heavy door.<br>"Sammy?" He muttered breathlessly as he looked at the bandaged thing on the bed. Was this really his brother?  
>"Dean?" He heard a sort of croaked, and exhausted laughter rose from his brother.<br>Dean approached slowly, taking the time to examine his brother's form on the bed. Both of his legs were broken, along with his right arm. Dean wasn't sure if he had broken his neck or collarbone or something, but he had a cervical collar around his neck.  
>"Morphine... It's... One of hell of a drug, huh?" He asked the older Winchester, seeming to allow his shoulders to relax into the cushion of the bed. Dean smirked, realizing that his brother was probably looking at a painless world, the drug removing any pain that he'd ordinarily be feeling.<p>

"So how soon are we gonna see you in a wheelchair?" Bobby asked, and Dean turned towards his brother expectantly.

"Hmmm... Two days? One?" He guessed. "Why, are you guys planning on rolling me down a hill?"  
>They shared a small chuckle, and he was glad that some of the harsh tension had been alleviated. He looked up at the TV, an image of the Swastika posted on it. He guessed it was some sort of holocaust documentary. Sam, always the nerd.<br>They sat in a serene silence, and soon the only break in it was a nurse coming in. "Mr. Winchester? We need you."  
>Dean looked over to Sam, guessing she was talking to his brother, but he noticed that all eyes were on him. He nodded, stepping forward. Bobby and Sam both looked over to him confused, though seemingly accepting of his sudden departure.<br>"Boy, am I popular today or what?" He mumbled, following the nurse with quick steps down the way he had just moved through the hallway. Something must be happening with Cas.  
>He stopped in his tracks. There was screaming. A dry throated, pained, inhuman screeching, carrying down the hall.<p>

"Help me!"

It was Cas.

He bolted, ignoring the nurse's warning to slow down. He heard and felt every landing of his feet on the floor, and his arms pumped along his side, moving him towards the room. "Cas!" He called out. People were staring at him, and nosily peeking into Castiel's room, wondering what the commotion was all about.  
>"Get away from me!"<br>"Cas!" He called out again. His feet made him slide past the door as he tried to stop, and he backtracked to the room.  
>The tube had been taken out of his throat, as he wasn't coughing up blood anymore, but now he was struggling against someone holding a syringe.<br>He was pushing against him with all the strength he had left in him.  
>"Cas! Cas, baby, please stop!" Dean cried out, rushing to the bedside and wrapping his arms around him. "Please!" He felt Castiel clawing at him violently, screaming, slapping and scratching at his arms.<br>"Dean, run! Go!" He said, tearing at the hair on his scalp and pulling on his arms, attempting to force him off the bed, and far away from him.  
>He clung on tighter, not paying attention. Cas' eyes were locked on the person with the needle.<br>"N-no! No, no, no, no, no! Stop! Dean! No!" He was screaming louder, yanking on Dean wherever he could grab hold. He was definitely weakened by the medicine, as he was barely able to continue the screaming and keep his eyes open. He looked exhausted, and his skin was clammy. He looked as if he hadn't eaten in days, though Dean had watched him eat just that morning.  
>He fell, exhausted, into Dean's arms, simply collapsing. Dean looked back to the doctor, who had out down the syringe and stepped away.<br>"I thought... I saw... Lucifer." Castiel shuddered in his arms, barely getting the words out before he shut his eyes, leaning into Dean's hold.  
>"Shhhh..." He soothed. "It's alright, baby." He rubbed Castiel back in a calming manner. Had he been hallucinating to replace the doctor's face with Joey's?<br>He glanced back at the medical assistant, and realized they were most likely an intern. Their eyes shook, and their pupils were highly dilated, out of fear of having done something wrong. They had planned to work at a hospital, not a mental institute.  
>No... He couldn't admit that Cas was going crazy. The intern had hair and eyes that were similar to Lucifer's, but they weren't quite there. It wasn't Joey…<p>

He stayed by Castiel's side, sleeping beside him in the hospital bed that night. At first, he was iffy, as Castiel could begin emptying his guts in the middle of the night, but he remained anyways. He couldn't leave Cas alone. After all, today was the day that he died.  
>"There's still a chance of survival." The doctor reminded him.<br>"You forgot to say a 'small' chance." He protested. He was broken. Castiel... He was dying...  
>"Albeit, it's a small chance," the doctor confided. "But…it could very well be the thing that keeps him alive."<br>He wanted more than anything to keep him alive and well. He'd do anything to make Cas smile every day.  
>Was it really possible? That he'd live?<br>_"We'd have to hope for a miracle, and miracles don't exist."_ That's what Cas had told him, and he trusted him far more than any doctor. After all, he was right. Things like that don't happen. Besides, if Cas was alive, there'd be nothing but pain and tormenting memories in this town. He'd want to leave if he could. To just... Disappear. But wasn't that what dying was in the end? Had he really been telling Dean that he'd wanted to die in order to escape this place where they once held hands and called home?  
>Lawrence, Kansas... Was it really that much of a hell hole?<br>Dean glanced up at the clock on the wall. It ticked, but it didn't tock, in the sense that it continued to make a constant ticking noise, but didn't move at all. The only way to check the time was his cell phone.  
>The only problem with that was that he was talking to Cas, and to check the time would ruin their cheery mood. It had to be close to noon by now, but how could he remind Cas, "hey, by the way, you're dying soon"?<br>He took Castiel's hand, listening to him talk on and on about the kind staff at the hospital, and the disgusting meals he was given. They had had this exact conversation before, but now it seemed to matter the most. Castiel had gone through everything, his final statement filled out and such... He wanted to be cremated.  
><em>"I don't want to rot in the ground!"<em> He had said angrily to his mother, who had been dead set on a proper burial at the single time that she had visited. Instead, they decided that they'd have a viewing, and then he'd go through the cremation process afterwards.  
>Castiel cut his long rant (on some of the noisy neighbors in the hospital) short. "Dean." He said, taking his hand. "Is it... Really that time?"<br>Dean hadn't seen Castiel check the time at all, but maybe it was an instinct as to when the body would die. Would you be able to tell exactly when it was coming? "Dean, please get me out of here." He pleaded, shaking violently. "I don't want to die here." His eyes scanned the hospital room. "I don't want to feel like I died sick."  
>Dean hesitated before nodding. He wrapped Castiel in his trench coat, holding his hand as they moved towards the stairway. People bustled in and out of the elevator, but Dean could get them both down the stairs unnoticed. He noticed Castiel falling behind, clutching the cold blue railing for dear life as he placed one foot below the other in careful and deliberate steps.<br>He came back up to stand beside him, kneeling so that his back was to him. Castiel understood the silent offer, climbing onto his back with a slight smile. He leaned his head into Dean's shoulder as they started down the stairs.  
>"I love you." He told him, fingers entwining in his hair, playing with it as he watched the concrete walls pass by.<br>Dean smiled, but didn't respond. If he spoke now, he'd break the careful barrier he had worked to put up. The intricate dam, blocking any emotion but happy ones.  
>He opened the fire exit door on the ground floor, hoping that it didn't set off an alarm. He sighed in relief as the stairway remained silent, and continued, out into the bright sun, and towards the black hard top of the impala in the distance.<br>Castiel shifted on his back, moving a hand to block the sun. He squinted against it, the light warm on the back of his hand and scalp. He felt like a vampire, exposed to the light for the first time in a while after being in a hospital ward. "It feels nice." He commented, and Dean nodded.  
>"The sun, or the breeze?" He asked, looking up at the sky and around the lot, as if he could see the wind.<br>"Both." Castiel sighed. "The colors are nice too." Looking through glass at the sky was nothing compared to being back under it. The wind chilled his bare arms while the sun left them warm and tingly. He smiled softly, taking a deep breath.  
>Sure, it smelled a lot more like pollution than open, green, natural air, but it also smelled like home.<br>His fingers toyed with the seams of Dean's shirt mindlessly, and he was bounced back up as he began to slide down his back.  
>"Cas?" Dean asked, still keeping his eyes set on the impala, his feet working in a steady pace towards it.<br>"Hmm?"  
>Dean seemed to hesitate before dropping his head, laughing. "This is crazy. I just busted you out of a hospital that could have prolonged your life."<br>Castiel hummed a tune from a song he almost recognized, thinking about what Dean had said. His concern was well placed, but Cas didn't want to close his eyes to the bright lights of a ceiling.  
>He never did respond to Dean's question, but Dean's returning silence suggested that he didn't mind. He picked at a small string hanging off the stitching of Dean's jacket, considering what he should be feeling as his head rested against the back of Dean's.<br>He was happy, being here with Dean, but shouldn't he dread what was coming? Shouldn't he be crying and lying down, carefully articulating his death wishes to his relatives?  
>He should be sad, or angry, or on denial, but instead here he was, smiling as a bee landed atop Dean's head without him noticing. He shooed it away, watching as it flew off into the sun, where he couldn't follow its progress any longer.<br>He felt every bump travel through his small frame as he was carried, and when he was set down against the leather seat of the passenger side of the Impala, he couldn't help but smile and lean back into it.  
>"It feels good to be back." He muttered, barely moving his lips. Even though he said this, he stood again, moving to sit against the hood of the impala with Dean following him silently.<br>"You know, I'm impressed. Most people would be jello after finding out they were dying." He commented, putting his hands against the metal, pushing himself up so that he sat, staring up at the blue skies. What was it that Cas was seeing out there, off in the distance? He felt silly to think that there was actually a light he saw besides the sun before he died.  
>Castiel pulled his knees up close to his chest, leaning his head against Dean's shoulder. "What do you think will happen?" He asked. At Dean's silence, he continued. "When I die? Where will I go? Who will I see?"<br>Dean considered for a time. Cas had been through hell, so he wished he could say he'd go up top, but would he? There were so many things to consider...  
>Castiel parted his lips as if to choose what he wanted to say, and then he spoke. "There's a few old lore that say you become a star when you die. I don't want to become a ball of gas, but what if it's something more? What if each star is like... A tiny world? A world that you control? I'd like that… Maybe we could become supernovas together, and clash our worlds into one big sun…"<br>Dean laughed breathlessly, though he did think it would be pretty radical. "You're crazy." He murmured.  
>Castiel huffed, elbowing him before sitting up. "Dying makes you think about life, and... Whatever comes after death."<br>Dean bit his lip at that. Why would he say that? "You're not dying." He said, though he didn't know why he denied it. He knew it would happen, and he had accepted it a while ago. Castiel shook his head silently beside him, knowing that Dean was lying to himself for no reason.  
>Dean turned as Castiel coughed beside him, glad to see that he only coughed twice before raising his head. There was no blood spotted on his hand, and he seemed content and unharmed.<br>Dean pulled out his phone. 12:05. Castiel was on borrowed time.  
>"Dean... Let's wait. I mean, wait until one o'clock. Right here. If I live until then, the doctors would have to admit that I survived, right?"<br>Dean shook his head. "Cas, even if you died today, you'd still have survived."  
>"But-"<br>Dean stood. "Shut up." He demanded, turning away from Castiel, his voice harsh.  
>"Dean!" Castiel said crossly, grabbing him by the forearm, though Dean shook him off.<br>"No! I'm sick and tired of sitting here like its fine, alright? I mean, people keep telling me that it's alright; that it's okay; that you'll be fine and go somewhere better, but you won't! I won't be able to be happy or stand on this stupid planet without you!"  
>Castiel looked at him with worried eyes. Dean had been the one talking about how he'd survive even if he died... What had gotten him worked up? "Dean, what's setting you off?" He asked in a concerned tone. His hand wanted to reach out, though he knew Dean wouldn't want to be touched.<br>"You! Me! Us!" He shouted, tugging at his hair with both hands, tears burning his eyes, though none had fallen yet. It burned, but he wasn't going to blink, otherwise it would allow tears to fall. "I thought about losing you! Today... All of today, it seemed so unreal! But now I'm thinking about what it would mean to actually lose you! You'd die and slide off the roof of my car, and I'd have to pick you up and carry you into the hospital!"  
>Castiel looked away from Dean's glare. There was sadness behind his hardened stare. He watched his fist clench tightly as he thought things through, and what to say next.<br>"I don't want you to die, I don't want to lose you, and I don't want you to be sad or anything if you do go." He decided. "And Cas, I know that I don't say this often, but I love you, and that's something I've never said to anyone before I met you. I said to my mom, yeah. My dad? Never. Sam? Never. I need said it to any girl I ever dated. I said it to you. Because I love you Cas, and that's why I don't want to see you hurt!"  
>Castiel's eyes flooded with tears so suddenly that he hasn't had time to try to hold them back. "Dean, I know, it's just-"<br>"No." Dean said, moving to the passenger side of the impala. He pulled something out of the glove box. "No you don't, you stupid ass." He said, sitting on the hood of the impala, holding up the thing he had brought out.  
>It was a small box.<br>"D-Dean!" His face lit up a bright pink, though tears still clouded his vision. What the fuck, with the sudden emotional overload? He had just been shouting and both of them had been sobbing, but now he wanted to do this? Right now? "I- we- y- it..." He didn't know what to say. He was lost in his own mind, searching for the command word that signified that he agreed. Yes seemed too simple... He needed something that screamed yes, _yes_, _**yes**_!  
>Dean was watching his face carefully; his own cheek bones died red, and his ears colored pink. "I wasn't planning this..." He muttered out of pride. "I just... We... Yeah." He said, expecting Castiel to understand the impossible.<br>He fumbled with it, opening it up with a small click of metal detaching from metal on the magnetic clip.  
>It was a simple thing, a thin but polished silver ring, but it meant the world to them both. When Castiel looked down on it, it almost radiated new beginnings, though his story was coming to an end. He held a hand under Dean's, which held the box, and held out his left hand. He wasn't entirely sure how to do this, so it looked awkward and he felt stupid, but no matter how clumsy he felt, he knew Dean admired him all in the same.<br>Dean watched Castiel's hand lift, and he grinned. He felt a rush of warmth flood through his chest, and he lifted the silver circle from the position in the small black box, sliding it onto Castiel's left ring finger.  
>It all seemed silly, and he bet that they looked ridiculous and ignorant to someone on the other side of the lot. After all, wasn't Dean supposed to ask him something while on one knee? Was calling him a stupid ass similar to a wedding proposal?<br>He had his doubts, but when he looked up to see Castiel's bright blue eyes swimming with hope and happiness, he realized that all was well. After all, what could go wrong when everything was so perfect?  
>"Cas?" Dean said as he watched him admire the way the ring splendidly reflected the light, dazzling him.<br>Castiel looked up from his hand in Dean's, meeting the green eyes.  
>"I love you!" He said happily, tears streaming down his cheeks.<br>Castiel blinked once, and then another time. "Dean..."  
>Even though he had said those words a thousand times before, it meant more to him in that moment than it ever could have before.<br>He let out a small dry sob, then his breath hitched, and he dove into Dean's arms, sobbing.  
>Dean smiled through his tears, knowing that Castiel didn't have a smile on his face, yet he couldn't help it. He rubbed his back soothingly, and he felt the ring bite into his shoulder as Castiel's fingers dug into the muscle there.<br>"I love you." He whispered into his ear once more, setting off more tears and crying.  
>Anyone in the parking lot would have thought someone had died inside the hospital. Maybe there <em>was<em> someone who had just died, but it hadn't been Castiel.  
>But if he <em>was<em> going to close his eyes, it wouldn't be in the hospital.  
>If Cas was going to close his eyes, it would be in the arms of the one he loved.<br>The sky smiled down at them, the sun gently giving them the gift of sight. The breeze carried their whispered words far off into the distance of the infinite world, where they swirled and entangled until they were indistinguishable from the rest of the spoken words of love.  
>But these meant so much more.<br>Dean smiled as Castiel shuddered in his arms, crying out all the pain that he had held back. He shut his eyes, his grin pointing towards the heavens.  
>He had never believed in God, but now he prayed silently.<p>

_God, look down at me now. You see a smile on my face, and tears in my eyes, but I'm not crying with tears of joy…_

_I'm crying for him; for us._

_Please save us._

_Please help us._

_Please… exist…_


	13. Chapter 13: The Unlucky End

**Author's note:**

**This is it.**

**This is the end.**

**You guys were amazing supporters, and every time you left a review of positive feedback, it made me want to squeal and cry (I did make some inhuman noises quite a few times) and it felt so amazing to have this story continue. I loved the plot and the characters, and I especially loved you guys.**

**Thank you for the continued support. I can not thank you guys enough.**

**Welcome to the end.**

**3**

"I love you, Dean." Castiel whispered against his cheek, trailing kisses from the temple of his forehead to his lips. "I miss you."  
>He wrapped his arms around Dean, though it was as if he couldn't reach out to touch Castiel. He couldn't open his mouth to say 'I love you' one more time. All he could do was stare straight into the bright blue eyes that showed what he wanted to say. Cas understood. Dean was speechless.<br>"I want you to live on." He said with a smile, kissing him deeply before taking one of Dean's hands in his own. "I want you to live on, but never forget about me."  
>Dean swallowed back what was forcing down his words.<br>"That's a little selfish, isn't it?" He said breathlessly, a small smile playing on his lips.  
>"You're right." He admitted, resting his head against his shoulder. "But I just wouldn't accept it if you moved on. You'd eventually have to, but... Keep me in mind, alright?" He kissed Dean one more time before leaning his head against his shoulder once more.<br>Don't go, Dean tried to form the thoughts into words, but it wouldn't come out. Don't leave again. He didn't want Cas to put his head down. He wanted to see those eyes with life in them. He wanted to make eye contact with the one that he loved. He wanted to get up and walk away with him.  
>"Cas." Was all he could manage, but he could feel Castiel smiling against his shoulder as reality seemed to drift further and further away.<br>Dean woke with a start, rubbing his head. Cas again. He haunted him, though it wasn't a bad haunting. It was something that kept him going, and kept him away from the brink of depression.  
>Lisa moved beside him, and he looked her way, smiling slightly. She was a good woman, and had to put up with everything about Dean Winchester that included his many flaws. She didn't deserve his mind being lost back in a high school romance that hadn't even lasted 3 years.<br>It had taken time, but through persistence, he had given in. He loved her, though he had even told her that he had already lost what he had assumed was a twisted version of a fated soul mate. A twisted, vile, fucked up story line for him to carry on with for the rest of his life.  
>He got up, looking down at his pajamas. There was an old bleach stain on the front of the shirt, but he obviously hadn't cared much when putting it on.<br>He moved towards the kitchen as Lisa began to stir, kicking the sheets aside and sliding on a robe.  
>He filled the house with the scent of French vanilla brew as he prepared their morning coffee. This was his life now.<br>Sometime while he was pouring creamer into the cups, Lisa wrapped her arms around his waist, leaning into his shoulder. He hasn't heard her footsteps, so it surprised him a little.  
>"Did you have that dream again?" She asked, rubbing her hands on his shoulders in a soothing manner.<br>He sighed, leaning into her touch. "No." He lied, though he had no reason to. She knew what he had dreamt about last night, whether he confirmed it or not.  
>She kissed the side of his chin in a comforting manner. "I know what it did to you." She said, and he sighed, knowing that she was going to say something about the past being the past, and water under the bridge and shit like that. It was the same every time.<br>The problem was, he couldn't forget Cas. He came to mind almost every day. Maybe it had been a form of shock, from the suddenness of his death, or perhaps it was the profound bond they had that had become far more than a platonic relationship. It felt like... They had been meant for each other, and then torn apart.  
>Lisa's arms traveled around his chest, toying with the ring on the rubber cord around his neck, next to the amulet Sam had given him all those years ago.<br>"Now Ben and I need you." She said, and this took him by surprise. She may not have repeated what she usually said, but it felt as of she had said it a million times before, because just now it got trough to him.  
>"This was yours, wasn't it?" She continued, still playing with the ring, now referring to it.<br>When she said 'yours', Dean knew she meant Castiel's and his.  
>"Yeah." He murmured, his own hand traveling up to it. "It was his."<br>"So you kept it all these years..." She mumbled into his back, her face pressed against the center of his shoulder blades as if she could fall asleep there.  
>He swallowed, knowing that by the tone in her voice, she was hurt.<br>"I'm sorry." He said, but she lifted her was and shook it, coming to stand beside him.  
>"Don't be. You loved him." She said, looking up at the sad green eyes she had to face every day. Never had a smile tainted the hurt in them.<br>Of course she wished that he would move on already, but she also had the sensitivity to know that true love only came once, if true love was even a thing. She knew he had found his, and then lost it.  
>"Why make true love if only to snatch it away from those lucky enough to find it?" She wondered aloud, and he remained silent, a sort of cloud seeming to storm over him at her words.<br>"I can't ever love you like I did him." He said suddenly, breaking the tense silence. The words seemed to come off as abrupt and a little harsh, so he amended. "You don't deserve this, especially not from me. You deserve to be loved and cared for, and I should have gotten over him a while ago."  
>She listened carefully, and waited a few moments, ensuring he was done. "Should have." She repeated his own words. "You should have given up on your feelings for him when he died, but the fact that you didn't is what makes me love you. You're loyal, brave..." She laughed a little. "Stupid, arrogant, extremely good-looking... The list goes on." She then poured the last of the creamer into her coffee, stirring it as she opened her mouth to speak again. "But I understand. I know that he meant the world to you. I know that you would go anywhere for him in a heartbeat... No, less than a heartbeat if he came back for you. The thing is, I also know that I love you, and I'll do whatever it takes to help you."<br>He cleared his throat as he went to take a sip of coffee, sighing so that the hot steam blew from the cup and into his face. It felt nice, and it distracted him.  
>"No." He said, and she halted in her stirring, looking up at him curiously. "You're right. I loved him." He looked at the brown of his coffee. It smelled great, but did it taste even better? "But Castiel is dead. I need to let go of the past or it'll drive me crazy."<br>He looked out the window, feeling we hand overlap his on the counter.  
>"He's waiting for you, you know." She said, following his eyes towards the street outside. "He's watching us with envy now, but he'll have you all to himself far too soon, I'm afraid." She looked to him with disappointed eyes.<br>"I guess I expected too much." She commented. "I'm in competition with a dead man." She mused.  
>For once, Dean wished that she was saying what she normally said. He loved her, and he loved Ben, but there was something that could never have been replaced after Cas left.<br>"I'm sorry." Dean whispered, and he smiled, kissing her on the cheek before getting a brown paper bag for Ben's school lunch.  
>"Ben!" She called him. "You'll be late!" She then looked to Dean. "That's all I wanted to hear." She said, and he nodded, turning back towards the cabinets.<br>He had a family now, and he needed to love them and care for them. "Till death do us part", it said in his vows, and as soon as he died, they probably would be parted. One, he was going to hell. Two, he had someone waiting for him. And he had promised to be there.  
>Ben still hadn't come down stairs, and now Lisa looked over to him with worried eyes when she realized that he hadn't moved. He was probably lost in thought, but she had only one question to ask him.<br>"How did he die?" She asked quietly, sliding peanut butter across a piece of bread.  
>Dean looked up at the cabinets, realizing that they were a bright blue. Since when? Had he not noticed before?<br>He considered her question. His death?  
>Why had he forgotten all of a sudden? Why was his mind drawing a blank?<br>How did he really die?  
>He blinked rapidly, clearing his eyes of tears before he turned around, helping her pack up Ben's binder and a few folders and homework pages.<br>He hesitated before speaking again, purposefully dropping a few papers on the ground in order to stall. He knew that she was waiting, but how could he respond in a way that showed that he cared about her enough to tell her, but not enough to forget him, all the while without hurting her with the adoration that was bound to show in his eyes and be heard in his voice?  
>He decided to go for it. After all, what did he have to lose if he already lost everything?<br>"Castiel." He said, the name warming his heart. "He would have died of malaria. One little mosquito bite."  
>He looked up at her to meet her eyes. "But instead he came close to surviving. He probably would have made a great recovery. He would have been fine."<br>She was silent, nodding while he spoke, not wanting to interrupt with questions.  
>"But in the end... It wasn't the malaria that killed him." He paused. "It was his own brother."<p> 


End file.
